The Lovers

The room was expansive, white and crowded. Paintings littered the walls in a haphazard manner, punctuating the walls where people stood and where they left. 

The couple had walked in here together hand in hand. Laughing and shaking themselves off as they looked at each other in disbelief can you believe how the rain came in out of nowhere? They had just finished having lunch, followed by an espresso to polish off the cocktails, no dessert. 

He followed, but lost track of her when he found a painting and stood in front of it for far too long. It wasn’t anything remarkable. A smudge of white, green, pink and reds across a large canvas. It was a few minutes before she realized he was stuck.

“What do you see?” She stood next to him, looking at his face and then at the painting.

“I don't know,” he said, and he truly didn’t know. 

She leaned in closer and then leaned back. “They look like white elephants, do you see that?” gesturing broadly at the white blobs in the painting with her finger. She turned towards him to find him still gazing intently ahead. 

“I don’t know, maybe? I’ve never seen one.” He mumbled, stepping away from her to view the painting from another angle. 

She was disappointed, then bored. 

“Come on. Let’s go check out the other stuff.” 

“Give me a few more minutes.” 

She sighed in compliance and stood beside him. He was looking at a face and she kept looking at her phone.

“Can we at least try to have a nice time?” She pleaded. 

He broke out of his trance and acknowledged her presence, “I thought we already were.” 

She looked back at the painting. “I mean they don’t actually look like white elephants, just the way the white clusters together I guess. It could be anything, what do you see?” 

He ignored the question and checked his phone, “the rain’s almost let up, should we get going? I don’t want to be late.” 

She looked down at her pale hands, her eyes tracing the purple veins webbing across them with desperation, hoping they might reveal a secret. 

He called her name but she didn't look up. He sighed. “Look, we don’t have to go through with it if you don’t want to but it's really such a simple operation.” He licked his lips, his mouth suddenly dry. “It’ll be over before you know it. You’ll feel much better after.”

She still didn’t say anything, her eyes burning with unshed tears now. 

“What about after?” It came out as a hoarse whisper, barely audible to her own ringing ears but he heard her anyway.

“Look at me.” He grabbed her cold hands in his and leaned down a bit to meet her eye. “We’ll be perfectly fine, just like before, everything will go back to normal.” 

She still couldn’t see him, but she heard the smile in his voice. 

“Are you sure about that?”

She looked at the paining again, the red bloodstain on the white. The elephant looking like it had been stabbed. Hunted. 

“Do you think this would fix us? Do you think we’ll be happy and normal after like everyone else?”

“I know we will!” He shook her delicate hands, jolting her to look at him now. “I know lots of people who have gotten this done and were perfectly fine after.”

“I guess.” She said. “Marianne got it done and she was fine after, happy even.” 

“Well, at the end of the day its up to you.” He sighed. “I wouldn’t want you to do anything you weren’t comfortable with. But it really is a very simple procedure. You wouldn’t even feel it.’’

“You really want to?” She intertwined her fingers in his. “Is this something you think I should do?”

“I mean, I think its the best thing to do.” He moved a hand to caress her face, his thumb lingering over the sharpness of her cheekbone. “But I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.” 

She leaned into his touch. Her warm brown eyes gazing into his jade green. The warmth of his tan skin caressing over the cool porcelain of hers. This is where everything changed.

“And if I do it everything will go back to normal and you’ll love me and we’ll be happy again?” 

“I love you now, I’ve never stopped loving you.” 

“I know. But if I do it, then everything would be like it was before again and I could talk about white elephants and we could laugh over pretentious artworks.” 

His lips stretched into a small smile, not quite reaching his eyes. “Of course, I’ll love it.” He leaned in to softly kiss the tip of her pink nose. “My mind is just a little preoccupied now, I just cant think about it. You know how I am when I’m stressed.”

She closed her eyes. “If I do it you won’t ever get stressed again?”

“I won’t be stressed about that anymore because its perfectly simple.” 

She opened her eyes. “I’ll do it. I’ll do it for you because I don’t really care about doing it for me.”

“What do you mean?”

She sighed. “I don’t care about myself.”

He frowned. “Well, I care about you. I don’t want you do to something you don’t want to.” 

“Oh, I know that. It’s just, I don’t really care about myself. I’ll do it because I want everything to be fine with us.” Her hand reached up to smooth his cheek now.

“I don’t want you to do it with that attitude. I don't want you to go through with something like this if you feel that way.”

She withdrew her hand and pulled away from him. 

“I don't want you to do anything you don’t want to do—”

“Or something that isn’t good for me.” She interrupted. “I know. Can we just get out of here? Get another cocktail or something?”

He sighed, relenting. “Sure, whatever you want, but you’ve got to understand that—”

She put a finger on his lips to stop him. “I understand.” She smiled, “can you please stop talking for a minute?”

He smiled back, and wrapped his arm around her waist. They turned to look at the painting one last time before leaving. There was now a yawning distance between them. 

His eyes still on the painting, he turned his head slightly. “Do you feel better?” 

“I feel fine.” She whispered back. “There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m fine.”

“You still never told me what you find so fascinating in this.” She teased.

He stayed quiet for a long time before closing his eyes and whispering "I don't know."

He was looking at a face but it might as well have been a flower or an animal. It might’ve been something about the green and the way it looked yellow next to the pink. He didn’t know how to say it. Years later he still didn’t know how to say it, and she was gone.