Contest #172 winner 🏆

162 comments

Coming of Age Fiction Sad

This story contains themes or mentions of suicide or self harm.

Mom works. She never picks me up from school, and two miles is too close for a bus pickup, which is fine by me because I like cutting through the woods. Especially on autumn days, when the air is cool, and the flies and mosquitos are gone, and basketball practice hasn’t begun. I like the quiet. I like the wordlessness of the walk.

A pretty sugar maple dressed in vivid orange frills beckons me off the path. I stand to look at her. I sound like a weirdo, I know. A sixteen-year-old boy calling a sugar maple pretty. It was Dad that taught me to appreciate trees before he hung himself from one. I love ‘em even more, now, Dad and trees. Did you know the oldest maple is five hundred years old? They call it the Comfort Tree. Dad said all trees are comfort trees.

           I search the sugar maple for a perfect orange leaf - I think I’ll press the leaf between two sheets of waxed paper like I did when I was a kid – but I can’t find a perfect orange leaf. It doesn’t matter. We don’t even have waxed paper at home. We don’t save things at home.

I follow a line of golden, round-leaved aspens to the creek, a grove of clone trees grown from the root system of the male. “Aspis means shield in Greek,” Dad said. “Aspens are protectors and inspire courage.” Brave aspens. Magic aspens. I wonder, Dad, did it take courage to kill yourself? Did you care about leaving me?

“Depression is a villain,” the therapist said. “That villain convinced your father the world was better off without him.”

I could have slayed the villain. If I had only told Dad how much I needed him.

I sigh. I try to take a deeper breath. I inhale the dank smell of cold dirt and dropped leaves. I smell Dad, the amalgam of decomposition and old blood. I didn’t know what the smell was when I was a kid. I didn’t know what a medical examiner did. The smell was a thick smell and sweet. I knew, only, that the smell was my dad. I’ve got a friend, Jimmy, who likes the smell of skunks.

My backpack is light, no books, not much homework. With it being the end of the semester and the week before Thanksgiving, teachers don’t add to their piles of ungraded papers. I drop my bag at a willow. I strip a branch of its leaves. I sit on a rock. I pretend to fish.

“Knock. Knock,” I say. “Who’s there?”

“Fish on a hook out of water.”

“Dad? Is that you?”

I reach to unhook him, but he slips through my fingers. How did I let my dad slip through my fingers?

“It wasn’t your fault. There was nothing you could do.” The therapist said it. Mom said it, but I know Mom doesn’t feel that way.

I keep photographs of Dad in a tackle box. His eyes look sad even as his face smiles. In a birthday photo, we wear matching red hats on our heads, the paper cone kind with the elastic bands that dig under our chins. His body leans into me. His arms hug me enthusiastically. He looks at me. I look at the cake. My mouth is open in the ready position to blow out six candles. I am happy. We were happy. But I see his sadness captured by the photograph. Maybe because his smile looks a little like the same fake smile, I make in all my school pictures. Maybe because his lips are dry and look a little too stretched over his teeth. Or because the corners of his mouth don’t go up into his cheeks in an easy way.

I am seven years too late for more knock, knock, jokes. I am seven years too late to make him laugh, seven years too late to make him happier, seven years too late to give him reasons to stay. I should have made him not want to leave us.

I want to tell Mom that I walk through the woods, but she worries. “Apples and trees,” I heard her say. “I will spend my life trying to keep him alive.” She means me. She means keep me alive. I want to tell her that her burden makes me angry, that it crushes me, that it flattens me. I want to tell her not to worry about me, but I’m scared. I’m scared as if her thought is a premonition.

I pick up my backpack and I follow the creek that leads to the oak tree in the yard, to the black scar on its trunk from where a thick limb once reached upward. I sit on a branch that spreads over the ground. All the oak’s branches have turned toward the ground. “Dad?” I smell decomposition and old blood. I smell the vanilla in the old oak’s tree bark, the smell Dad taught me to notice. I feel the strength in the old oak’s trunk.

In the kitchen I see the bowl full of apples, a white oak bowl full of red apples. It hits me why the bowl is there. Seven years of apples in a white oak bowl sitting on the kitchen countertop and I only, now, see why my mom puts them there. “Apples and trees. I will spend my life trying to keep him alive.” The white oak is Dad. The apples are me.

I pull each apple from the bowl. I line them up on the countertop. Seven apples. Seven years. I inspect each apple for bruises and blemishes. Not a single bruise on any of the apples. It’s a sign, my sign. I am an apple from only the best parts of the tree. I feel taller. I am sure. I’ve slayed the villain that was hiding inside me.

“Mom,” I say, when she walks into the kitchen. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

November 18, 2022 23:40

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162 comments

Gary Scone
18:01 Feb 15, 2023

I am stunned. Speechless. Her dad leaving his family behind. His daughter coping in a matter I have never encountered. She corrorlates the continuation of her life as the apples. Her dad being the tree fostering her in representation of the apples bared. Her and her daughterhood and fatherhood will remain in her heart having found peace without the negative influence of the villain. Acceptance fills her heart with peace and harmony. I believe the story is so well written. The story is purely genuine. Her heart's expressions ...

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Emerson Schug
02:43 Feb 12, 2023

it was a good story but sad i like sad stories all in all it was good. And sad.

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JAYANTA DAS
22:44 Jan 30, 2023

May I take this story? please reply first.

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Charlee Hillin
15:15 Jan 26, 2023

This story is amazing. My friend recommended it to me and I don't regret it. This is so good, I showed it to my English teacher and she loved it!

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Lisa Lange
16:32 Jan 28, 2023

Thanks Charlee! I'm glad you (and your English teacher) liked it!

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Charlee Hillin
15:34 Feb 02, 2023

Thank you, Lisa!!! Ive recommended it to 7 of my friends, and they all love it! You are an amazing writer

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Khisab Kurniawan
01:56 Jan 12, 2023

I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to experience the stories you have created. I also make youtube video telling about your story https://youtu.be/R9t4sWvDSmQ Hope you like it!

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Lisa Lange
16:34 Jan 28, 2023

Khisab, I do not like the youtube video and I would like you to take it down. Thank you!

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Aleah Jardonek
17:13 Jan 07, 2023

I surprisingly didn't find it sad (maybe because while i was reading it my sister was watching something with weird music) The thing that really gets to me is dogs dying and sometimes family passing away it depends on how the story goes. It has to be a video of a dog dying or something to make me really cry

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Samantha Young
22:24 Jan 05, 2023

This was an amazing story. Wow just wow. As someone who has delt with not only losing someone but do to suicide sadly also this story is yes very sad and down but I feel like it has meaning, that meaning being that you have to beat down that wall. Yes beating down a wall may not be easy but you will feel amazing and free once you are open from that wall. Great work!!

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Lisa Lange
16:37 Jan 28, 2023

Thank you Samantha. You sound like a strong person!

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Arnika N
13:16 Jan 04, 2023

Captured so much emotion and poetry, loved it!

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Lisa Lange
16:38 Jan 28, 2023

Thank you Arnika!

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Sunil Kushwaha
09:26 Jan 02, 2023

Hi

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Tom Ortega
04:10 Dec 30, 2022

nice work anyway, INTRODUCTION OF MYSELF to the reedsy community: hello everyone my name is tom and im new to the reedsy community id appreciate a like on my story if you think it is fantastic. I am a brand new writer and very concerned people may not be liking my story because they think my work is plagarized since I am a first time writer but write like a professional. I swear hand to bible that this is my real work. thank you. happy writing and cheers from the northeast

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Hafsha Rashid
10:01 Dec 26, 2022

Wow i felt so touched

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Lisa Lange
16:39 Jan 28, 2023

Thank you Hafsha!

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S_ichige Ooo
00:57 Dec 25, 2022

damn this hit me hard. this is the number one book to read when your down.

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Alec Conn
23:09 Dec 18, 2022

i love this istg, i rarley like storys, but this one is the one I love

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Lisa Lange
16:40 Jan 28, 2023

Thanks so much Alec! I really appreciate that.

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03:07 Dec 16, 2022

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23:53 Dec 15, 2022

As an writer myself, I think writing such a short but this impressive thing is amazing! I really like your story. I hope we all find happiness in our lives. Congratulaitons!

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Lisa Lange
17:31 Dec 16, 2022

Thank you Ayten! I appreciate that, and yes, let us all find our happiness.

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Fern Rimōto
10:59 Dec 14, 2022

Hi there! I really enjoyed the described scenery of your story. I know a similar scene full of mapels so it was really facinating to read. You truely deserved this first place in the contest. <3 But to come to my point why I read the short story. I had to summ it up, characterize and review it in an English exam at my German school just a week ago. Nearly any review, besides of one, was positiv, because a negativ was too difficult when we have such a good story. Later we (my class and my English teacher) talked about taking your third short ...

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Lisa Lange
17:27 Dec 16, 2022

Wow, Fern, thanks for sharing that your class read the story, and that you and your classmates liked it. Made my day!

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Fern Rimōto
18:52 Dec 17, 2022

Would you be willing to have a zoom chat with my class about your stories?

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Corey E. Gleason
02:38 Dec 13, 2022

Beautifully written story. I love all the symbolism.

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Lisa Lange
17:27 Dec 16, 2022

Thank you Corey!

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Suzanne Marsh
21:06 Dec 08, 2022

Thank you for your comment I am glad you enjoyed my story. I read yours and enjoyed it a great deal.

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