The Locked Door

Epigraph:

If there is anyone out there, please open me.

I swear I won't show you anything scary.

There are things in here that no one has seen.

Wonderful, one of a kind pieces you can't find on a screen.

My things are tangible: you can pick them up and hold them.

They'll spark your imagination; they'll take you to another realm.

You remember......that giddy place you went to as a child.

When you were alone, experiencing new things felt wild.

This is what I have to offer; a place to bring back that adrenaline.

An adrenaline so high that it will become your daily medicine.

Open me.

You'll see.

The Locked Door:

You work your whole life to land a job that you tell yourself, "this is my calling." In reality, you know it's just the job most likely to provide a respectable, high, long-term source of income. Inevitably, it drains you. We've all been there before. The ole 9-to-5,6,7,8,9 blues. You have a void in what's referred to as "the soul." You don't need a new job. You don't need a new family. You don't have any financial problems. You don't have any social problems. You just feel dull and stuck. You are missing something that you can't put your finger on. It's nothing you need to find but something you need to feel.

You get married, build a house from the ground up, have children, and spend your money on schools, cars, and vacations. You decide to renovate the house. You spend money on a new kitchen, sunroom, bathrooms, closets, floors, and stairwells. The house is brand new only a few years after you built it from scratch. Your kids leave for college but the void remains. You plan for the future but live in the ever-present dull. You imagine "what's next" as a time of PLAY, without any distractions, responsibilities, or stresses. But this is not realistic. No one has the ability to live in this dream you believe will happen next weekend, next month, the next holiday, or the next year. Even you. You realize you are not yearning for something. You are yearning for a feeling that you have not felt since childhood. You miss the feeling of experiencing firsts because you have now lived a life long enough where nothing feels new.

You sell your house. You buy a historic house built in 1930. Something happens when you step into this old house. It hugs you with a feeling of nostalgia and spookiness that makes you feel giddy. There is a locked door on the second floor that takes you to a third floor. You don't know where the key to this door is and it remains locked for weeks. When you walk past the door, you get a pep in your step that you can't explain. But it makes you happy. You finally find the key and open it. You're alone. The smell of dust and raw wood from another era consumes you. A narrow staircase emerges that takes a sharp left upward. You're on the brink of something brand new. You feel an overwhelming rush of excitement that takes you back to that old childhood feeling.

A memory pops up. A memory that of course sparks a feeling. That feeling of you playing in your neighborhood woods and discovering an old wooden bench hidden in the corner atop a hill. You can almost smell how those woods smelled at night. The secret bench became your secret spot. Your sister would dare you to get up in the middle of dinner, at night, run to the bench, tag it, and run back. There is no way you would do that in the middle of eating dinner. But you would do it, shocking everyone, including yourself. When you got to the bench, you would purposefully sit on the bench and look out around you. Staring into the deep woods and feeling a sort of ownership over it. You felt brave and confident because it was your secret spot that no-one else would care to visit. You would sit and relish in the adrenaline rush. You would think to yourself, this is so weird, but also so fun and exciting. That dare mentality would follow you throughout adulthood but slowly die over time. That urge to "just jump" is what childhood was all about. That feeling comes back to as you lunge up the stairs anticipating what your eyes are about to see. You decide, this is your new spot. Your new secret bench in the woods.

Behind that locked door and up ten squeaky stairs, you find a shockingly organized room with nooks and crannies to fit furniture for your dream space. A place just for you to feel the sensation that privacy manifests. It will make you happy in the moment. A place for all your trinkets. A place to think, dream, read, write, paint, draw, play games or just to escape. A place to be alone.

You have people over for parties. You have family over for holidays. You host dinners for your colleagues. You open your house for all to roam. But no-one has the key to that locked door. Your escape is on that third floor. You can dare yourself now. Run to that locked door. Unlock it and enter your personal sanctuary. How fun! Isolation by choice can bring so much joy. everyone needs something, some place, some space, some outlet, that is their own. This is it.

You figured it out. Your void is filled. Your soul can breathe. You recharge your inner true childhood self in order to tackle the frequently mundane, serious, dark, and soul stripping world that is called life. Continue to dare yourself, shock yourself, take risks, be independent. Explore. PLAY. You'll find another world where you can enjoy the little things that take you back to childhood fantasies, imagination, creativity, confidence, and fun. Keep the play alive and continue to walk through all locked doors. If you can't find the key, keep looking. Sometimes the search makes the find even greater.