Dog Biscuit Luck

 Kittokatto picked up her glass of lemonade. She gulped it down in a manner so slow and exaggerated, it could pass as a demonstrative video to outline the process of ingestion for middle school biology lectures. Her face puckered like a squeezed stress ball, her eyes shut tight. She shook her head violently and tutted thrice. A second later, her expression went blank as if nothing happened.

Needs more salt, Kittokatto thinks as she scrolls through her feed and double taps on posts without them even fully loading.

She adjusted her neck in an extremely uncomfortable and greying ostrich pillow that she had won in a branded giveaway. She could’ve bought a normal pillow like a normal person. However, now her spine would protest the correct resting posture after being subjected to the twisted one for so long. There was no going back.

In the 7 years that she started living on her own, she never had to pay for anything other than essentials. She noticed this strange phenomenon at the age of 10 when she’d keep winning contests online and offline.

Not that she won in things that mattered. None of those school races, well-timed comebacks, college president elections or employee of the month awards.

She wondered what kind of teaspoons the Gods of Destiny used while measuring the sense of satisfaction she could derive, for it was not a gram more than average at best.

However, it’s not like it wasn’t convenient.

It didn’t hurt to be blessed by the claw crane at the arcade to be the kid that always won her favourite toy. Or to score a strike or five while bowling.

At first it was keychains. She soon upgraded to winning ugly sippers. The sippers carried positive affirmations with more faith in her ability to conquer mountains than she ever did. While she appreciated the intent, she used them for watering her plants, experimenting with smoothie recipes and as a DIY toilet brush holder.  

Like anyone else with such luck, they would like to see how much they can push it. She decided to follow the words of the sippers. The 5-million-dollar lottery was the only logical next step. It played out the way she played the notes of ‘Happy Birthday’ on the synthesiser – hitting a flat instead of the sharp.

So, she let her streak of mediocre luck do its thing.

Running out of yogurt? Play the daily fortune wheel on the online grocery apps for a discount.

House smelling like a rat? Tag 3 friends and win a candle that smelt a little less like disappointment.  

And the likes.

Her space was one-of-a-kind. Quite literally. No two things made sense together.  

Grommet purple curtains, fluffy zebra rugs, overly bright tote bags, thrifted second-hand baggy clothes that screamed punk and of course, decks of food coupons she could play rummy with.

While her Pinterest board would tell a completely different story, she wondered that if what she got did the job, did the aesthetics of it really matter?

Accidentally minimal or plain lazy? Jury’s out.

One could never really know her if they judged her by everything she owned. However, her mediocre luck decided to not be miserly, for she found someone who tried to know her better. Joofé – a friend she made out of nowhere by stumbling across a dog biscuit on the road.

Thankfully, Kittokatto picked it up to feed one of the four dogs in an upturned truck next to 30 Sunflower Avenue. That’s where she met Joofé.

“Oh don’t feed that one any more. He already had half a bag of it, the greedy pig.” Joofé told her.

Kittokatto apologised.

“It’s totally okay. The greedy one’s Potato. This is Salt, the pushover. Umm…I think I just saw…yeah there – that’s Mayo and there’s Oil. Together they make the French fries haha…” Joofé kept talking without a pause and this introduction to the four dogs kickstarted their friendship.

But of course, it would be off-character for the Gods of Destiny to not be insufferable. So, to make matters worse, her only friend’s birthday was coming up tomorrow, making today a rather pressing day for Kittokatto.

Her scrolling speed was faster than usual yet calculated and focused. She was looking for contests everywhere to enter and win something nice for her friend. Unfortunately, she had no idea what Joofé liked. She talked about the same things everyone did – music, books, dogs and food. That wasn’t much to go on and so, Kittokatto entered contests for all those things.

Commented with a fire emoji for e-tickets to a live gig by a sketchy indie artist.

Tagged two friends for a music streaming platform subscription gift card.

Shared a picture tagging the biryani restaurant to get a free meal.

However, all the winners of these contests were going to be announced tomorrow morning.

Nope. Not enough time. She groaned.

This meant that Kittokatto would need to put in some legwork to make sure she got something.

Will I finally need to buy something at its original price? She wondered curiously about this haunting concept.

Her motor senses were performing at a strong 2 out of 10.

How does one shop at MRP? She walked to the mall.  

At the mall, she won lucky draws, scratch cards and carnival games, yet her better judgement told her that 6000 rupees off the next refrigerator purchase didn’t seem like a good gift. She kept the coupon nonetheless.

As she strolled aimlessly through the mall, she subconsciously gravitated towards the shops for which she had a coupon. Being a cheapskate had become muscle memory.

This is not going to work. She decided as she stepped out to head home. Just then, her phone rang.

Mother. Her distracted brain answered the call on autopilot without looking.

“Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…” She dragged the O for a straight minute.

“I take that you’re excited about my birthday party tomorrow then?” Joofé said, amused once Kittokatto’s lungs could no longer support her greeting.

“Yoi!” was Kittokatto’s brilliant response when she got over her shock and embarrassment.

“Hmmm. Sounds about right. Remember by 12:30. Oh and there’s a new dog in that upturned truck now.” Joofé instructed and cut the call.

“Oh!” Kittokatto was killing it with her replies.

“You’re being rather chatty. Great! Now don’t be late. Bye!” Joofé cut the call.

The horror had now numbed Kittokatto.

Do I really need friends? She contemplated. While she really did not want to lose a friend over a disappointing gift, she realised she wouldn’t have to do this again. Her fingers traced the refrigerator coupon.

She frowned at her own annoying thoughts.

She stopped in her tracks when she saw a tiny, painted ceramic giraffe in an old antiques shop.

She instantly thought of the hilarious video Joofé had shown her of two giraffes swinging their necks to fight with each other. They mimicked the fight sequence and got rather competitive about it as well.

I NEED to get this. She handed the money right away.

She was a little less of a loss for ideas now. She decided to walk a little further.

She should try some of this. She packed a sweet yogurt drink.

A pad of burger-shaped post-its, a poster of dogs playing poker, pens with googly eyes, a book on UFO spotting and a packet of strange green banana chips later, she was reconsidering everything.

She was starting to feel stupid. These were just things that she randomly bought thinking of the conversations they had over a period of just 3 months. What if Joofé doesn’t find them to be good enough?

Oh, well. There’s the refrigerator coupon. She shrugged and gave up. It was 8 PM already and she was now trying to figure which turn to take to get home.

Huh. How come I never came across that street before? Kittokatto always liked to take the quickest route home. She got what she needed so why loiter around, she always believed.

Might go there again. Or not. She stayed decidedly indecisive as she fetched the keys to her house.

She proceeded to pick a freebie tote in which she could give the gifts and then went to sleep.

The next morning, her alarm sounded like sirens. Literally and metaphorically.

Friendless again. She lamented, feeling like she had swallowed a balloon.

She just forced one apple down and left with the tote bag.

On the way, she bought some dog biscuits. She soon reached the familiar upturned truck that the Municipal Corporation never really bothered to move from there.

The four dogs came barking happily. She gave two extra biscuits to Potato.

“We are going to have to call him a Watermelon soon, with the way you keep feeding him.” Joofé said.

Kittokatto simply smiled and emptied the pack of biscuits. Not a crumb of evidence was left as soon as she did so. It seemed like the dogs’ memory had reset, as if to say ‘Biscuit? What biscuit?’

They again looked up at her hopefully, sniffing to see if there were any more on her.  

“That’s how it is, huh?” Kittokatto told them. Joofé shrugs and gestures at her to come along.

“This for you!” She nearly yelled as she outstretched her arms straight towards Joofé.

Joofé couldn’t help but laugh.

“This is how I am always going to give things to people from now on.” She teased Kittokatto but not in a way that would offend her.

Kittokatto didn’t say anything. She waited nervously for Joofé to see the gifts. She thumbed the refrigerator voucher in her pocket, just in case.

Once Joofé pulled off the brown paper, she laughed.

“Remember that video of giraffes fighting?” She giggled. She kept repeating the same things that Kittokatto that already thought of as she unwrapped the other gifts.

Kittokatto pretended like it was no big deal.

Good. I can save this voucher for another day now. Kittokatto thought but was thrilled to have gotten the gifting right.

During their brunch, she kept getting a bunch of email and text notifications.

“All okay?” Joofé asked.

“Want to go for a live gig and some biryani after?” Kittokatto asked.

Did the Gods of Destiny get their math wrong? Whatever happened to giving me an average luck? She wondered as Joofé jumped up to get her keys.