The Airport Connection

(This story has an inadvertent racial slur that gets corrected.)

I hope he doesn't want the lemon one.

I'll have the lemon old-fashioned and a coffee, please.

Rats! Oh…

Oh, you wanted it, too?

It's the only vegetarian donut…unless…do you have more in the back?

Sorry ma'am. It's the last one.

I'll change my order. I'll have the chocolate cruller and the lemon one for the lady. 

That's so kind, thank you, but—

I insist. I'm excited about my trip and feeling generous. Can I get you a coffee, too?

It's easier to just agree—there are so many people behind me. Yes, thank you.

Make that two coffees.

It's my lucky day. 

There's a cost, I'm afraid. Will you join me until you have to catch your flight?

Well, I have time to kill. Why not?

Sure is bustling in here. This table okay?

Sure.

I'm Rob.

Judy.

Nice to meet you. Where are you headed?

Boston to be with my niece and her partner for Thanksgiving. 

Nice. I love Boston.

You?

New York to be with my daughter. We're crazy to travel around Thanksgiving, right?

Bonkers.

You live here?

Uh-huh. Where's he going with this?

Oh, this chocolate cruller is so good. I'll have to hold you responsible for the extra calories. Forgive me for being forward, but are you married? I see a ring.

Widowed. 

Oh, I'm so sorry. Crap! Chocolate on my shirt. Can't take me anywhere.

It's okay. It's been a while. I just can't seem to take the ring off.

I'm single myself. I've tried those dating apps, but no luck. Have you tried them?

No. I'm not really looking. I'm a unicorn, you see. Longtime vegetarian, atheist, introvert, breast cancer survivor. I enjoy my own company.

Wow. I've learned more about you in five minutes than I've learned in two years on the OurTime app for people over fifty. I find your directness refreshing. You haven't scared me off yet. How's your lemon donut?

Delicious, thank you. How many times do I have to thank him?

Do you work, or did you?

English professor retired. Chinook University.

Wow. You must be well read. Reading was always hard for me. I suspect I'm dyslexic, but I never got tested. Me, I'm a sales manager. I sell home generators that kick in when the power goes out. Actually, they sell themselves every time we have a big storm and the power lines are down for days. People hate that.

My wood stove sure came in handy during the winter of '22 storm. Am I being too oppositional?

Sure, sure. So... I've thought of retiring, but I love the social aspects of my job. I meet many people, and I love helping them. Do you get lonely?

Odd question. Sometimes. I have a cat to keep me company. Snickers. Also, my favorite candy bar.

You sure look fit even though you enjoy sweets. You must work out.

I do. I walk, lift weights, and swim. 

Wow. So...you put me to shame. I belong to the local 24-Hour Fitness but have a hard time working it into my schedule.

Their business model thrives on people like that, paying but not going. 

Yeah, right. I see you looking at the clock. So...you need to get going soon?

Yes, I'm one of those travelers who don't relax until I make it through security and I'm sitting at the gate. I don't travel too often. So—

Right. Well, I've enjoyed talking to you. I'd like to get to know you more. Would you be willing to set up a coffee date in early December?

Ugh. Now for the polite refusal. Or should I try to be more open to meeting new people, even if we have little in common? It's kind of you to ask but—

I can tell that you're getting ready to say no, but consider this. I have an excellent-paying job. No debt. My ex-wife lives out of state, and I have no dealings with her. People tell me I'm a fun guy. It's just coffee...

Look, you're a nice guy, but really, what do we have in common, except we're about the same age and live in the same area? I don't know your thoughts, opinions, or character. Did I just quote Lizzy Bennet from P&P?

Well, you can learn all that on the coffee date.

I tell you what. I have a deal-breaker question for you. How you answer this will depend on how I answer the coffee date question.

Oh no. No pressure there. How do you know I'll answer truthfully? 

I should rule you out for asking that. Ready?

As I'll ever be.

How did you vote in the last election? You can probably guess how I voted by what else I revealed about myself, but I want a truthful answer.

Okay. Honest engine. 

OMG! I can't believe you just said that.

What?

Honest engine. It's honest injun, but of course, that's offensive, and we don't say that anymore. 

Sorry. Really? I didn't know. I thought it was honest engine, and I never thought about what it meant or where it came from. It's just an expression.

I'll forgive your malapropism. Just don't say that anymore, okay?

My mala-what?

Never mind. 

Are you being condescending?

Hmm...I think I am. Forgive me. Malapropism means using the wrong word in place of a similar sounding one. Archie Bunker on All in the Family was famous for them. For example, Archie said, What do I look like, an inferior decorator?

Ha-ha. I loved that show. And I love that you told a joke that made me laugh.

I liked that show too. 

See? We have stuff in common.

Yes. You haven't answered my question yet.

I'm afraid to. 

Well, I'm afraid I have to get going.

I didn't vote. 

You didn't vote?! Oh, brother.

Let's spend an entire coffee date discussing that.

You've worn me down. You're a salesman, alright. Give me your phone, and I'll enter my email address.

Not your phone number?

Don't push it. 

You'll be hearing from me.

I have no doubt. 

Have a safe trip, Judy.

And you. Thanks for the coffee and donut, Rob. Bye.

You remembered my name!

Am I crazy? I just agreed to make a date with a stranger. At least it's only for coffee. He does have a way about him. He really got me with that question about loneliness. It couldn't hurt to have another friend my age. One can't have too many friends, can one?