The Man in the Cowboy Boots

           He's right in front of you, you idiot. What do you mean there's nobody there? Of course there's somebody there. He's wearing a beige top hat, a blue and red checkered shirt, khaki pants, white socks, and cowboy boots. He's sitting right beside you reading the Plain Dealer. I'm nuts? No, you're nuts. You're the one who doesn't see the man. I'll talk to him and see if there's anything he wants to tell you or you want to tell him. Ok, he says his name is Harry Huse and he's 67-years-old. He was married to your Grandmother, Stacey. He says he used to smoke cigars every morning an he would read you stories before you went to bed as a kid, but not the stories others told, the real stories. Like, in the story he read you of The Little Mermaid, the evil witch turns Ariel into the foam of the sea and she doesn't get married to her man: She dies. The real stories by the original authors. 

           What the hell are you talking about? No, he isn't. He's sitting right next to you. Right there. Buried? Not unless he dug himself out of the grave and unnailed his coffin. Well, somebody lied to you because there he is, sitting right beside you. What? No. No, no, no. I haven't used any drugs. I'm not schizophrenic. He's sitting there next to you? Are you blind? 

           Ok, let's get another person at the park to see which one of us is nuts: You. Can I bother you for a minute? Thank you, Ma'am. Do you see a man sitting next to my friend in a cowboy outfit? You don't? Ok, what would you call that kind of outfit? Nobody's there? Are you sure? Is this Candid Camera or something. Look, if I go right up to this man and touch him, what do you think'll happen? 

           Hello, Harry. For some reason these idiots don't think you're there. Is it okay if I touch you to prove to them you're there? Thank you. *** Don't move. I can't touch you if you move. I can only touch the bench. No, goddamn it. I'm not crazy. I know I touched the bench. Harry moved. Name everyone else I see? Why? Ok. There's Harry, you, this person we stopped, the gentleman sitting by the tree, the woman walking her dog. Think it's a maltese. There's . . . . what? You don't see them either? No, don't call the psyche ward. I'm not harming anyone or violent, right? Right. I see them and they see me. See, I'll wave at them and they're waving back. I'm not nuts. Someone else has to see these people. Somebody must. I feel like Horton from Seuss's Horton Hears a Who. Damn it. I stop nine people both of the friend and the stranger see and none of them see the cowboy on the bench. Then, I stop a woman with a hunchback using a cane. She has on a white dress with sunflowers and her skin is wrinkled and I ask her if she sees the man on the bench and the other people in the park. She tells me to hold and a minute and mumbles something under her breath. Then, she takes a few deep, rhythmic breaths and I breathe with her and feel centered. Then, the old woman, who tells me her name is Cynthia, describes the man on the bench and says the same things I did except with more detail. She describes things from his past only Harry would now and my friend cries tears of relief. I then ask Cynthia why she and I can see these people, but the other two can't and cynthia tells me it's because we're mediums.

           What's a medium? I ask cynthia. Cynthia tells me to picture a satellite. The invisible rays go to the satellite, the satellite reflects the rays and sends it to our radios. We turn on the radio and hear music. The satellite is a medium because it's between the radio station and the radio. In the same way, we're mediums because we're between the world of the living and the world of the so-called-dead. So, I'm not nuts, I'm a medium. That's right. But, how come you had to do that thing to do medium and mine's automatic. She told me she schedules a time for Spirits to come every day and meditates at the same time every day. Cynthia told me she only wants to be interrupted if there's an emergency. Cynthia then tells me she offers classes at reasonable rates and I'm welcome to attend one.

*

           I'd never been to a home circle, but Cynthia convinced my friends I wasn't nuts and I am interested. But, what I want to know is how to turn it off (the medium), not how to turn it on. We form a circle of chairs and there's an old metal amplifier in the chair in the middle of the room; the kind people used to attach to phonographs to make the records louder. She put that in the middle of the circle on a chair and Cynthia told us not to touch it or something called ectoplasm, which Cynthia described as a white, foamy substance. Cynthia told all of us to squint our eyes and we did and after the opening prayer, we saw it. The ectoplasm. It was coming out of the trumpet and out of Cynthia at the same time. Cynthia also said to keep all light away during the meditation. Something about entering orifices quick and pain. We gave each other short greetings from Spirit. I said what I saw which was a woman who wore nightees braless and played drums and the person I gave the message to understood. After an hour, the meditation concluded, but I still saw the Spirits.  So, I asked Cynthia how to shut it off. Cynthia took a deep breath and said to tell the Spirits to go away until the next session and again, the schedule a time either in the morning or the evening to meditate. So, I did. I started meditating every morning when I wake up at 5 am. Not the Spirits kept coming after I closed the meditations. I guess I'll have to ask again at the next home circle. But, then, this morning. Ectoplasm started coming out of my belly button and I could feel a tingling in my face. I have to remember to squint and keep the lights off. But, my eyes had adjusted to the dark. I looked in the mirror and my face became the face of the cowboy in the park. Weird. Then, the voice spoke independent of me and said:

           She doesn't understand, but will. Remember, The Little Engine That Could,   Try. Just keep talking to her and let me talk through you. She'll recognize my voice. In fact, get out your phone and call her now. So, I did. I called her and let this man's voice speak through my throat. The phone rang and after four rings, I heard: Hello? Then, the cowboy's voice took over mine.