Paradise

    Anna was bored as she twirled a lock of red hair around her right pointer finger. She strolled past her mother, tugging on the small hand of her little sister, into the local library. She was greeted with a gust of warm air, combatting the soft snowflakes falling outside. She skipped up the stairs into the main area. Behind her, Talia loudly clamored up the stairs in snow boots, her mother urging her to quiet down. Anna pretended she didn’t know them and headed into the young adult section. She glanced at the cute boy with glasses reading in one corner and began to browse. She needed a classic book for English class, but she couldn’t resist choosing something for fun. She found one with a woman in a red ball gown and read the summary, intrigued at a summer romance for a young princess. “That doesn’t look like a classic novel,” teased her mother. Talia proudly held up a few colorful children’s books, urging her sister to look at her selections. Anna brushed her off and begrudgingly followed her mother to the classics section on the other side of the library. 

    Anna paused by a large book with a thick black cover and placed it back. She found a few more books that intrigued her and her mother urged her to consider one of her favorites, a book about a nanny. Anna scoffed and continued searching. Talia was growing restless sitting on a green couch waiting for her sister. “Please,” urged her mother, “Talia is growing hungry.” Anna picked a slim book with a blue cover and huffed her way to check out. They placed all the books on the scale, then in her mother’s bag and began walking down stairs. “Wait,” instructed her mother as she knelt to zip Talia’s jacket. Anna loudly sighed glancing at the colorful letters decorating the ceiling. They walked to a small cafe where Talia gobbled down macaroni and cheese while Anna sipped her soda and nibbled on a sandwich. She noticed as the boy in glasses came into the cafe. She fantasized that his name was Michael and that he had noticed her in the library. She imagined he’d approach her and ask her out to dinner. Anna was disappointed as he joined a group of teens and kissed a tall blonde on the lips. Her fantasy was ended. 

    “What did you end up choosing, sweetheart?” inquired her mother before taking a bite of salad. 

    “I don’t know, actually,” Anna reached for the bag and grabbed the book. “It’s set in the 1920s I guess.”

    “I’ve read that one!” exclaimed her mother. “It’s a romance, you know?” she winked at her daughter as Anna rolled her eyes. 

    After dinner, they clamored into the minivan and headed home. Anna’s mother flicked on the kitchen and dining room lights. She spread out Talia’s homework on the kitchen table while Anna headed to the family computer to complete hers. Her father returned home to loud hugs from his daughters and a peck from his wife. It was bath night for Talia so while her sister played mermaid in the tub, Talia settled down with her book in bed. She cracked its blue spine and began. In a notebook to her right she began to ask the five required questions per chapter. She wondered about the mysterious green light and pondered how her mother could call it  a romance. Exhausted, Anna turned off the light and headed to bed. She dreamt of a beautiful egg, the kind Talia dyed before Easter sundays. It loomed over her and glittered an emerald green. Anna walked along the stone path, hoping to find it. With every step she took, the egg moved farther away. Distraught, she began to run as fast as she could handle. The sun beat down and warmed her skin. She awoke in a cold sweat.

    In English class, she turned in her form declaring the book she chose. Mrs. Monroe smiled, “That’s a favorite of mine. Keep me updated.” Anna smiled and took her seat. Mrs. Monroe passed out their practice finals and they broke into groups to go over each other’s essays. Anna happily took her spot next to her friend, Brooke, who briefly provided feedback on Anna’s essay before they jumped into gossiping. Dreamily, Anna began to describe her encounter with the boy with glasses and Brooke boldly suggested another trip to the library. “I doubt he’ll be there,” protested Anna. 

    “So then we’ll go get a coffee,” responded Brooke as she applied another layer of cherry lip gloss. Anna grinned and sent a message to her mother. With their parents’ blessing the girls met at the front doors of the high school  before beginning the walk to the library. Their backpacks and fluffy jackets kept them warm, despite the snow’s best attempts. They were relieved to enter the library. Anxiously, Anna walked to the young adult section and looked around for the boy in glasses. She found him nestled in a corner, reading a large book with a dragon on the cover. “He’s cute,” hissed Brooke. She smiled and nudged her friend. Anna dropped her backpack by the couch, following Brooke’s action. Brooke confidently strode up to the boy in glasses. WIth a devilish grin she announced, “My name is Brooke and my friend Anna,” (Anna waved slightly from behind Brooke), “thinks you’re really cute.” A librarian in passing shushed them. Anna began to blush, for a brief moment she wondered about the tall blonde.

    “My name is Nathan, but my friends call me Nate.” He held out his hand and Brooke shook it. The librarian walked past again and cast a disapproving look. “Come on,” whispered Nate. Brooke and Anna collected their backpacks and followed Nate to the conference rooms at the edge of the library. The three of them sat at a table. Nate pushed back onto the back legs of his black chair, “So you think I’m cute.” 

    Anna blushed and wondered how truthful she could manage. Brooke nudged her shoulder, “Yeah…”

    Nate smiled and pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. Brooke let out a giggle, “Well, I need to go get a book.” She collected her backpack and left them in the glass conference room. She closed the door softly behind herself. 

    “I think you’re cute, too,” Nate said with a wink. He let the chair fall forward. In their brief conversation Anna learned that Nate was two years older than her. He enjoyed fantasy novels and spent time at the library because his parents worked long hours. It’s “better than being in that apartment all alone.” Anna didn’t have the courage to ask him about the blonde from the cafe. Nate asked for her phone number and sent her a text while in the conference room together: Hey cutie. Anna blushed beet red when she received it and Nate winked. Brooke softly knocked on the door, urging them to hurry up. Her mom was there to take the girls home. Anna waved goodbye to Nick as he tipped his chair back slowly. 

    That night, Anna tried to read while Nate texted her. She was absolutely giddy and found herself reading the same section describing the pier over and over. Nate asked lots of questions about Anna. Anna was flattered at his attention. Nate went to a different high school from her and took the bus to the library each day. Anna found herself impressed at his independence. They discussed books together. Nate, like Anna, had never heard of her book. She fell asleep to kind words from him: Sleep well, beautiful. She dreamt of the pier from the book. She dreamt it separated her from the beautiful egg. This time, the egg had a door which made her want to reach it even more. Anna gazed into the fog. She thought she saw Nate with a smile as he stood in the golden doorway and beckoned her closer to him.

    In English class, Anna told Brooke all about Nate while researching her author’s biography. She proclaimed that they were meant to be while clicking through photos of 1920s style dresses. The girls giggled over what dresses they would choose. Brooke walked Anna to the library that afternoon. Anna found Nate and convinced him to come walk around with them. While Brooke looked through shelves of clothes and purses, Nate and Anna played with hats. They took photos in front of full length mirrors and teased each other. Anna tried on a large, white sun hat. “That one is beautiful. I like you in it,” Nate told her while gazing into her eyes. Anna broke eye contact to glance at the price tag, $21.99. She cringed and felt the two twenties she had earned as allowance burning a hole in her back pocket. She walked with Nate to the cashier and handed over the cash. She proudly wore the hat outside as Nate took her hand. Brooke wanted a coffee so they walked into the local cafe. Again, Anna wondered about the blonde she had seen. They sat together at a red booth and talked together. Brooke began to smile as Nate said that he had a friend who wanted a girlfriend. Eventually, Anna’s mother texted her she had arrived. 

    Marissa watched as her daughter walked out of the cafe hand in hand with a tall looking boy. She noticed how thin he was, like he hadn’t had a good meal in years. She began to worry as the boy embraced her daughter. Marissa was startled at how short she looked beneath his looming figure. Her hands tightened on the steering wheel as her daughter waved goodbye to him. Once Anna was in the car she began asking questions, “Who is that boy?”

    Anna scoffed, “He’s my boyfriend, Mom.”

    “What do you know about this boy?” asked Marissa.

    “A lot. I told you. He’s my boyfriend.”

    “How old is he?”

    “Why do you care?”

    “Because, you’re my fifteen year old daughter.”

    “Fine. He’s eighteen, Mom. He’s mature.”

    “How serious are you two?”

    “Serious.”

    “Invite him for supper this weekend, then,” insisted Marissa. Her heart pounded with fear. This was an adult man. Even if he was in high school.

    Anna dreamt of the parties written about in the book. She found herself dancing in a field of flowers dressed in a shimmering white dress, her flame red hair in curls. She smiled at Brooke who was in a black dress. Anna beamed when she saw Nate, standing tall by the egg. Anna stopped dancing and walked on the stone path to the edge of the pier. She tried to run to him. He waved at her through the fog. Anna watched as he embraced the blonde girl. She awoke with tears running down her face. 

    The next day, Anna confessed her fears about the blonde to Brooke during lunch. Brooke scrunched her nose, “That’s bad news. Who do you think she is?” 

    “I don’t know,” complained Anna as she bit into her hamburger. “His girlfriend?” 

    “No,” corrected Brooke, “You’re his girlfriend.” 

    “Right,” Anna said and stood from the table. 

    “Listen, I can’t come to the library tonight. I’m behind on my English project and my mom found out,” complained Brooke. 

    “How did she find out?” asked Anna as she reached their lockers. 

    “An email from Mrs. Monroe,” Brooke rolled her green eyes. Anna became anxious. Technically, she hadn’t met the last two deadlines. She had just been so tired after her time with Nate. She swallowed the lump in her throat. She texted Nate and said she couldn’t come to the library because they were behind on their project. Anna was shocked to find Nate underneath an oak tree outside of her school. He smiled at her and gave her a hug while proclaiming he had walked from the library to come see his “best girl.” Brooke cast a disapproving look as Anna turned and walked hand in hand with him to the library, instead of towards home with Brooke. Anna texted her mom a lie: Off to the library with Brooke. Nate swung their arms back and forth as they walked. Anna gazed up at him in wonder. 

    They stepped into the warmth of the grocery store in the same complex as the library. They began looking over the different candies. Anna realized she had no money. “Don’t those look yummy?” asked Nate. He pointed eagerly to some chocolates. Anna agreed. 

    “I don’t have any more allowance, though,” Anna complained. Nate smiled back at her. 

    “Walk fast, don’t look at anyone. Ready? Set. Go!” Nate tucked a box of chocolate under his sweatshirt and into his waistband. Anna gasped as he pulled on her hand. They walked out the door, not looking at anyone. Anna’s pink boots crunched snow and ice under her feet and she stared at Nate’s black boots. He took her hand and began to run. His stride was double hers. Her heart pounded in her chest. “Wasn’t that fun?” asked Nate once they had reached the silver metal benches outside of the library. Anna violently shook her head and Nate frowned. “What do you mean?” he asked. 

    “That was scary. We need to go back and pay for that,” she insisted through gasps.

    “I don’t have any money, do you?” he asked her incredulously. Tears filled her eyes as she realized she didn’t.

    She swallowed the lump in her throat, “No.”

    “Ok, then,” Nate said as he lifted his black sweatshirt revealing his stomach and the chocolates. He pulled them out and undid the plastic, “What flavor do you want?”

    “I don’t want any of them!” she pushed his hands away. 

    “Why?” he asked, peering into her eyes. His height began to intimidate her, even on the cold benches. 

    “Because, I am not a thief!” she yelled. Then, she began to cry. The tears burned hot against the cold air. 

    “Hey, Anna, it was just a little fun, ok? I didn’t mean to scare you.” He directed her to look at him.

    Anna snivelled, “Theft isn’t fun. It’s wrong.” Anna’s phone began to ring, distracting her. She saw a text from her mom, she was at the cafe. Her heart dropped to the bottom of her stomach. “I have to go,” she told Nate and pushed him away. Furiously, she wiped at tears and found a small snowbank near the book return slot. She pressed cold snow against her nose, cheeks, and eyes, to hid the tears. She walked quickly to the car and was disheartened when Nate didn’t chase after her. In the warmth of the car her mother asked where Brooke was. Anna stuttered out a lie that her mom already picked her up. Marissa was surprised and could tell something went wrong. She asked, “Did you ask that boy around for supper?” Anna shook her head silently from the backseat. Once home, she rushed into her room and slammed the door behind her. 

    Nate didn’t reach out to Anna. In fact, he left her alone all night. She was exhausted and by midnight had managed to cry herself to sleep. Her dreams were plagued with horrific images of the egg on fire. It no longer glistened in the sun, but towered over the pier and showered ash onto the field. When she looked down, her dress was torn. Tears filled her eyes and she awoke exhausted. In the morning, Anna barely mentioned a good morning to anyone. In English class, Mrs. Monroe pulled her to the side asking if she was ok. Anna lied and claimed she was. Brooke couldn’t get her to spill her secrets either. She even suggested a trip to the library which Anna denied vehemently. 

    Nate didn’t text the next day or the day after that. Anna learned that meant it was all over. Talia wandered to her older sister’s room one afternoon. “Hey,” she said and plopped onto the flowery bed spread. “I want to go to the library, but Mom says I gotta ask you.” She reached for a stuffed bear in the corner of the bed and began to stroke his white ears. Anna looked at her sister and saw a moment of innocence. She sighed deeply and hugged her sister saying, “Let me get dressed.” The sun had begun to poke out more and more. Anna changed into a short dress and pair of leggings. Her mother was relieved to see her holding her sister’s hand as they walked down the stairs. Marissa wrapped her arms around her girls. For the first time in a long time, Anna melted into her mother’s arms as she felt tears prick her eyes. Talia pulled away first urging them out the door. They made the fifteen minute drive and Anna didn’t protest as Talia sang “Twinkle Twinkle” the whole ride there. Marissa caught a sad smile on her daughter’s face as she turned in the blue book. She had been relieved when she stopped hearing about the tall boy from the cafe. Her heart had broken alongside Anna’s when she picked her up from the cafe without Brooke that day. 

    Anna’s eyes scanned the library nervously. She half hoped Nate wouldn’t be there. She half hoped he would be. She cautiously walked past the conference room, feeling pain from the beautiful memory she had made. Anna was surprised as her heart drew her to the classics section. She went to the same shelf she had found the blue book and pulled one from the shelf. “Paradise,” she whispered under her breath as she read the title.