Let Me Tell You About My Best Friend.

Let Me Tell You About My Best Friend!

Written by Renee Schnebelin

Act One, Scene One

The curtain opens to a cafe. The tables are all filled with patrons sipping on coffee and talking amongst themselves. Towards the front Lacy is sitting at a table with her dog Willie lying down next to her. There is a stage that is set up with a mic and a chair. The poster behind the chair says:

 POETRY JAM NIGHT!

The music is quietly playing Love is in the Air by John Paul Young.

Cafe Manager: (walks up to the microphone) Good evening. How is everyone doing tonight? 

Everyone claps and whistles.

Cafe Manager: Excellent. Good to hear. We have quite the line-up tonight with some repeat performers and some new blood. So without further ado let’s bring Lacy and Willie up to the stage. (Manager steps back from the microphone and motions for Lacy to come on up and take a seat)

Everyone claps as Lacy stands.

Lacy: (Confidently walks up on stage with Willie by her side and takes a seat on the stool. Willie sits down on the floor) Hello, hello and thank you for all the love. Speaking of love. It is Valentine’s Day week and so in honor of that I have written a special “poem” about just that. 

(clears her throat) 

L is for when you lick my toes. (looks up at the crowd) It was like only once, but I remember it very well. 

(the crowd chuckles)

O is for when you look over at me with that look in your eyes (looks up at the crowd) It’s really not what you think. He really just needs me to take him outside or fill up his water bowl. 

V is for very beautiful. He is just a beautiful pooch and one look and you will immediately fall in love. At least I did. 

E is for everyone that he has ever growled at. Refer back to what V stands for. Willie is just so beautiful that everyone just wants to touch his face and he doesn’t like that, so he growls. 

As if on cue Willie stands up on his hind legs and “bows” 

The crowd claps and Lacy stands and bows as well. 

Lacy: Thank you, thank you. I will be back next week.

As Lacy walks back to the table she gets some high fives from some and strange looks from others. 

One girl can be heard whispering to her friend: She’s a little weird. 

Lacy takes her seat, the lights dim and the curtains close.

Act One, Scene Two

The curtain opens to Lacy sitting in a restaurant with her friends having dinner. In the background Frank Sinatra’s Just The Way You Look Tonight can be heard playing.

Karen: How did open mic night go?

Lacy: Good as usual. Willie bowed on cue as practiced.

Karen: That’s amazing. See all of that training has paid off.

Helen: (snickers) 

Lacy: What’s that for?

Helen: Nothing at all. I just can imagine the look on the crowds face as you were reading a love poem about your dog. 

Lacy: You don’t have fur babies, so you just don’t understand. And why must you always be so rude?

Helen: Exactly what I am talking about. Fur babies. Who comes up with such a thing?

Lacy is visibly getting upset.

Karen: (quickly changes the subject and takes a big sip of her wine) Sarah, what are your plans this weekend?

Sarah: The usual cleaning house, playing with the kids, changing diapers, listening to the husband whine about this and that. How about you?

Karen: Same. Except Samantha has a recital. Lacy is coming along for the ride since the hubby’s out of town. 

Lacy: It is going to be so much fun.

Helen: What else will you be doing this weekend, Lace?

Lacy: Hanging with Willie of course and cleaning. The “usual”.

Helen: (rolls her eyes) Sounds like fun. Maybe you should think about finding someone to settle down with and have kids. 

Lacy: On that note I have to go home and check on Willie. (takes her wallet out of her purse and pulls out a couple of $20’s and hands them to Karen.) That should take care of my portion. See you tomorrow. 

Lacy waves by to Sara and Karen and quickly leaves the restaurant.

Lights dim and curtains close.

Act One, Scene Three

Curtains open to an office. Lacy is talking with her two co-workers Ben and Chad. They are all standing around the water cooler. Elevator music and the sounds of typing can also be heard in the background. 

Ben: I did so much work at the barn over the weekend. It was unbelievable. 

Chad: I didn’t get much work done. Spent most of my time at tournaments. What were you up to, Lace?

Lacy: (takes a sip of her coffee) Went to a dance recital, walked around the neighborhood with Willie, watched tv. Yeah, pretty much hung out with my dog and it was perfect.

Ben: Always with the dog. I am so glad we don’t have mutts anymore. 

Chad: Yeah. My wife has been hinting at wanting a dog and I am just like no way. I may end up losing this battle. 

Lacy: I like dog’s and cat’s better than most people. (Lacy walks away and sits at her desk)

Ben: Why has she got to be so obsessed with talking about her dog. 

Chad: I don’t know. It’s just plain weird. 

Lacy: (loudly) You know I can hear you. 

Ben and Chad shrug their shoulders and walk back to their desks. 

Karen: (Appears and sits down at Lacy’s desk) Hey chica! 

Lacy: Hey friend. You are a sight for sore eyes. Why are boy’s so dumb?

Karen: (sighs) I don’t know. Between my husband, and the two kids. All I want to do right now is cuddle with my two pooches.

Lacy: Same. I mean not the kids...obviously. You all tell enough horror stories about children. I am never having any. 

Karen: Are you sure? (laughs hysterically) 

Lacy: Yesss. Is it time to leave and go to lunch? 

Karen: Of course, lady! Oooohh..I hear the local cafe has an adoption event going on. We should totally go. 

Lacy and Karen grab their purses and head off stage. 

Lights dim and the curtains close.

Act One, Scene Four

The lights turn back on and the curtain opens to Lacy sitting in the living room watching tv.  Willie is lying on the couch next to her with his head on her lap. 

The song, It’s Gonna Be A Lovely Day from Secret Life of Pets is playing on the screen.

Lacy: You are the best friend a girl could ever have. I almost brought you home a new brother today, but Karen reminded me that you may get too jealous because you didn’t get to pick him out. (scratches Willie’s ear) Maybe we can go tomorrow and pick out a new puppy. (Willie picks up his head up and looks at Lacy) Does that mean you want a new puppy? I don’t know. You may not like it if I am not giving you all the attention. 

People that have never had a pet in their lives just don’t understand the bond that can form between us. They all snicker, and talk about how weird I am, but they just have no idea how much I really truly love you. You are the best boy ever. 

Lacy lies back and closes her eyes and then the two of them drift off to sleep.

Curtain closes.

The end!