Obsession

*Hailey's POV*

Warning: this story contains scenes of stalking and mental health issues...

Aaron Matthews walked into the coffee shop at 8:00 am on the dot. He wore his plain, white shirt tucked into his jeans and his blue jeans - paired with a belt - accentuated his long lean legs. On his neck, a locket which isn't something I would peg him to wear, but it was fine if he was doing it. He had this regal, arrogant cloak on, but he still picked up an elderly lady's wallet she had dropped. I would have just taken the wallet, but he-he tapped her on the shoulder with a toothy smile and handed it back to her. I was impressed he had morals and a conscience. Something I clearly lacked, but hey, good for him.

The line was too long and my feet were starting to ache. I was beginning to think that standing here for a coffee I didn't want so early in the morning wasn't worth talking to him. But who am I kidding? He was my prey. He was my real-life Edward Cullen without the fangs and the fluorescence. I could see him out of my peripheral vision, I could hear the soft tapping of his foot on the hardwood floor in the awkwardly quiet shop and he checked his watch which meant he had somewhere to be, and wherever that was, that's where I needed to be. I'd be watching him closely as he - hopefully - walked to work while whistling for ten blocks to his nonprofit studio on Carlow street. He would scan his ID to get into the building at exactly 9:30 am.

He was next in line and I had to get closer to find out what his order would be. I was squinting; I had forgotten my glasses on my nightstand again. Damn, I was so unprofessional. The barista smiled as he walked up to order.

"Yes, I'll have a chai latte."

I had no idea what the fuck a chai latte was, but when I got up to the counter I ordered one, then I laid my eyes on the table behind his table, but before I could get there, a young couple cut in front of me to take it. They almost made me spill my coffee all over my red sweater. Of course I was wearing a red sweater; I wanted him to remember me. I needed him to remember me.

He sipped his latte while doomscrolling on his phone zombie-ishly and I, of course, was too far away to see anything, so I got the idea to check his Facebook (once again) and I knew Facebook is basically for the elderly now to keep tabs on each other, but I was thankful for it; It was my own special way into his mind. He had updated his profile since the last time I checked and his profile picture was now him and some woman who looked gorgeous from the selfie angle, but he still hadn't changed his relationship status, so that made me even more curious.

He listed his favorite movie as Groundhog Day and of course it was, he could relate to doing the same fucking thing over and over and over until he would eventually snap. His favorite hobbies still included: fitness, technology and watching sports. It was all pretty basic interests for a male. When I first started stalking him, I was expecting him to be a little more original than that, hell Edward Cullen was more original than that, but it's what I had to work with so I really couldn't complain. My eyes quickly darted over to him to find he was still scrolling mindlessly on his phone. He didn't seem to be that observant fortunately.

"Sorry, I actually can't talk right now," He said to some younger kid wearing a yellow beanie. Whoever the fuck he was. I could tell he looked a little frazzled today; He looked really off like he was hiding a secret, and I knew all about secrets. The secrets you keep eat you alive; They make you sick until one day they all come to light whether you like it or not and he ran his fingers through his hair and his hands were shaking and he looked like he was on the verge of tears, but men didn't cry. He wasn't going to cry here in front of all the Early Birds getting their coffee fix. He was too strong and well-adjusted for that, he was too smart for that. He didn't want anyone to see him slipping, nobody could catch him off his A-game.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be fine?"

He pulled at his collar as he started to sweat through his white T-shirt, he looked oddly pale right now and his eyes were cloudy. I didn't know what was going on with this man, but as he stood there looking like he was going to pass out, he looked so handsome as the light came through the window and danced off the sweat beads on his forehead. Ah yes, the skin of a killer. The Edward of my dreams, standing just one table away.

"Would you like some water?"

I watched the beanie kid flag over a waitress to get him some water. He gulped the whole bottle down in one try which was really impressive; He must have some really strong lungs. He sat back down and took a deep breath. I stood up and made my way over to his table where that kid stood in front of me, blocking my view.

"Just came over to see if you were okay," I said with a small smile. "I get claustrophobic as well."

He nodded at me. "Thank you for asking. I'm just a little frazzled at the moment."

I knew he was frazzled, he was a very predictable man that couldn't hide his emotions even if he tried, he would like to think he could, but he couldn't and I'm standing face to face with him trying not to let my emotions dance across my face like his.

"I just got a text from my wife," He offered as he tried to get his legs to allow him to stand up. "I have to go."

So the woman in the profile picture is his wife which made me wonder why he didn't show that off on his relationship status, but anyways, I nodded, much like he did, although he seemed to lack basic social skills like a kindergartener trying to make a friend for the first time and I could read all of that just by a single look.

"Well, have a good day, Mr...?"

"Matthews, but just call me Aaron."

"Love that," Obviously, I already knew him name, but I still smiled once more feeling awfully foolish to be a one expression pony. I was deeper than that and I needed to show him that I could be a three dimensional person with hopes, dreams and a career. "I'm Hailey, but just call me Hailey because that's my name." Now who was lacking basic social skills?

He laughed a little too loud at the joke I thought would flop. His kind eyes were deep and inviting as if there were planets floating in there and they were waiting to be discovered. A three dimensional heartthrob who had stolen my heart right then and there. I could tell he was a lovely soul, but I could still see the shadow under his eyes possibly from long nights at work and the faint scar right above his left eyebrow - the little details that made Aaron, well, Aaron.

"Well, thank you for checking on me, Hailey. Hopefully I'll see you around."

I do a one arm salute that I wish I could take back mercifully and he chuckled again which validated my bad humor and when he walked by I could smell a faint whisper of l'eau d'issey cologne which was, again, very basic, but it was really easy on the nose. I turned my head slightly so I could keep an eye on him without him noticing me while hoping he would look back and notice me with my ponytail and red sweater. Thankfully my eyes were working well - sans glasses - and I saw him thank that same old lady for holding the door for him on his way out which made a smile creep up my face. My man was so sweet to everyone and he was sweet to me and that alone was enough to make my day and it wasn't even noon yet.

I threw away my cold latte and slipped out the door and I saw him get into a black SUV and I quickly took out my phone to take a picture of the license plate before they drove off in a puff of smoke. He wasn't walking to work and just my luck I didn't bring a jacket because I forgot to check the weather and it was slightly colder than I anticipated because when the temperature drops below 70 degrees I start to freeze, but I shook it off for now and got my mind to focus.

He must've felt pretty worn out from his episode in the coffee shop and something with that text from his wife and I knew he wasn't going to work now which fucked up his schedule which fucked up my schedule and now my day is ruined, a complete 180 from what I had just said several seconds ago. Luckily, I knew how to think on my feet and I hailed a taxi like a pro in the middle of the day in heavy morning traffic that was still creeping up the roads and I wasn't giving up hope because NYC morning traffic is basically bumper to bumper which meant he couldn't get anywhere without me getting there as well and that put my mind at ease.

***

*Hailey's POV*

I stood outside of his house, rigid as the same black SUV pulled up into the driveway and he got out by himself and almost tripped on a single solitary rock because - like I said before - he wasn't very observant, but I welcomed a man like that. I loved a man that lets his woman take the lead of the senses bound to their relationship like a female protector of the home. I would be there as fast as the speed of light to fight off anyone that would dare come around my territory, my sanity and my man.

He dusted off his pants then walked the rest of the way to the door unscathed like a good boy delivering baked goods to his granny and he never once looked over his shoulder to check if any weirdo was lurking in his bushes; These beautifully placed bushes where I could get an unobstructed view of his living room and kitchen. He reached for his keys before realizing the door was already opened probably feeling awfully foolish for leaving his door open because his wife was home alone and it was the middle of the day in New York and anything could happen just like that. This text-this text from his wife was seeping into his every move, his every thought, it was consuming him slowly and it was making him reckless and clueless.

When he walked in the door he was greeted by a siren, almost model-like woman with perfect toned skin with golden and bronzy hues and pin straight brown hair. She was the same woman in his profile picture. She was his real-life Zendaya and we all know how gorgeous she is in every photo she's taken in and this woman had the whole "It" factor down pat and it made me furious that I couldn't be like her, to be seen like her in his eyes. His wife was everything I couldn't be and, yet, somehow I was relieved at the same time, but only because I wasn't conventionally attractive so almost nobody noticed me around. I could just slip through the cracks undetected and that's what made being ugly fun. I'm invisible to the male gaze and that has served me well.

He kissed her on the lips for a good five seconds before taking her by the hand and leading her to the kitchen to sit in a chair and she was holding her stomach lovingly with her right hand and smiling while looking up at him and I knew where this was headed. She was having a child. His face lit up so fast it almost gave me whiplash, I could feel the wheels turning in my head the second his face turned animated and now they were hugging and I couldn't help but wonder where the person driving the car was because they hadn't came out of the car yet and I was secretly hoping they would barge in and break up this love fest.

While I was watching them embrace for the third time, I couldn't help but reminisce on all of my failed relationships with men who didn't appreciate me and never would because I wasn't a dime like this slut he's with and I wouldn't have sex the first five minutes of the date in a mob lit restaurant in the booth in the back in the corner and I wouldn't blow him underneath the table while the waiter asked if our food tasted good and I wasn't the girl who wore makeup and did five hour skin care routines or posted "what I eat in a day" videos on TikTok and what's a girl got to do to have some luck around here?

I could just be grateful that any man would even take time out of his busy schedule to think about pursuing me in the slightest, especially in this day and age of the Internet, cheating and porn and so many chances to get access to an AI girlfriend dating app like who even wants to be with an actual human being anymore?

Aaron though, Aaron was different because he noticed me for more than five seconds and he laughed at my jokes and he smiled at me with such passion and vibrancy. He was the only male that made by brain melt like a candle and now he was slipping-he was slipping out of my grasp when I could finally just taste his soft, pink lips of my dreams to be with someone so confident and in demand and people would have to do a double- take because how could someone like him possibly pull me?

I liked that feeling of nostalgia he gave me, I could feel like that kid again sneaking down the stairs on Christmas night when everyone else was asleep to peek at the gifts under the tree and be the first to see what Santa Claus left them, but fuck nostalgia and fuck Santa Claus. All I had; Everything in me just shattered when I glanced in the window one last time to see him and her on FaceTime telling the news to everybody in the family. I wanted my own family with Aaron and four kids named Luca, Samuel, Luna, and Grace and we would have the holidays over our house because everyone knew we had the best dinning room set up to host the family and we would all laugh and pretend to like Eggnog. I wasn't having this. This simply couldn't be true, she was lying to him and she was trying to take away my happy ever after.

...

I went home- I went straight home in a fit of rage, and I grabbed my scissors and went to work on my new look; My new look for Aaron that would grant me more time to look at him and to talk to him and smell his basic l'eau d'issey cologne and maybe even accidentally slip on the floor so I could feel his muscles warp around me and pull me back up to safety. I chopped at my ponytail until it turned into a short bob then ran to the bathroom closet to fumble for some brown in the red and black and blue packets of hair dye I had kept around for a moment like this. I was a shape shifter, I could change my look up whenever I wanted to, I could be Ramona Flowers in Scott Pilgrim changing my hair color every other week and I could finally feel like I had some control over my life and I'd look damn good while doing it.

I grabbed the box and dumped the dye directly on my dishwasher blonde hair and mixed it around my hair with my fingertips a few times until I had a pretty decent coat on and I stood there staring at myself in the mirror for 30 minutes until I couldn't recognize myself. I still didn't look like her, I still couldn't become her, but that didn't stop me from trying like heck to come close. I grabbed at my lower stomach pudge and sighed to myself before reaching in the medicine cabinet and grabbing those little pink pills and popping one, two, three in my mouth until I gagged on my saliva. I couldn't just stop at the hair; I had to get the body too and I had to do it fast so I kept up my pill routine for a week and stopped when I felt physically ill, but it was worth it. I had lost five pounds in a week and I was alre

ady noticably slimmer.