Rock

Rock

     They called her Rock. She walked around the campus with upright stature. Her broad shoulders cemented against the hard plastic chair. She sat perfectly still as she listened to the professor lecture on the terms that would be on the final exam. She loved learning about Abnormal psychology and she knew she would get a A in this class. She stood up and straightened her blouse as she made her way to the exit. 

   “Rock, when do you want to meet up to finish the project?”, Sara asked as Rock was walking to the exit of the classroom.

     “Let’s meet at seven tonight at the library”, pronounced Rock.

     “OK, sounds good.” Sara replies.

It was cold fall night and Rock was feeling irritable, bloated and a shooting pain in her stomach. She felt like crawling in bed and crying herself to sleep. 

“Hey!” Sara announces as she circles the table to go to sit next to Rock. “How are you?”.

“I am great. We should practice our parts to the presentation.”

“OK”. Sara grabs her notes from her backpack and starts to sort though her note cards. Ever since she met Rock, she has not heard one complaint or negative word muttered from her mouth. She often thought she reminded her of a robot. Machine-driven and controlled at all times. It was odd.

“OK, you want to start?”, she asked Rock.

“Sure.” Rock responded. 

Her words fired out like a bullet as she began to speak brazenly about the symptoms of bipolar disorder. After she was done speaking, she carefully placed her note cards down on the table and then started to stare keenly at Sara.

“Oh OK, that was good”, Sara murmured. She then probed Rock farther on the subject and how bipolar disorder can really negatively affect how people live. Especially if they don’t manage it properly with medication and therapy.

Rock replied”, Yes, bipolar can be managed by medication as prescribed and also monitoring your symptoms and moods.” 

Sara gave up on trying to open up Rock and get to know her more. She felt like Rock was definitely living up to her nickname. She was not going to get to know Rock anymore personally if Rock had her way.

The frigid cold breeze whipped at Rock’s face as she crossed the street that led to her dorms. She was glad that meeting was over and she could now be alone with her thoughts. She had to call her sister before she went to bed. Claire was only three years old and called Rock her mom. Claire was a newborn when their mom died of an overdose of heroin. Rock decided that day she would raise Claire and make sure she had at least one responsible guardian. She was fighting to gain sole guardianship of Claire from the state.

She pounced up the stairs to her room and plopped down on her bed. The phone rang twice before someone answered it.

“Yes, can I speak to Claire, please.”

“Sure, just a moment.”

It felt like forever before Claire’s small voice spoke clearly into the receiver.

      “Mom?” Is that you?”

       “Yes, Claire it is Rock. How are you doing?”

       “I’m OK. I want to live with you, not here. When are you coming to get me?”

         “I will see you in two days and soon we can be together every day, OK?

        “OK, I can’t wait.

         “Yes, me too. Just be a good girl and do what you our told so we can be together soon.

     Rock couldn’t hold them in any longer. As soon as she hung up with Claire the tears began streaming down her face. She couldn’t stop. She buried her face in her pillow as the tears poured down her face.

     She felt as she was lost in a dark cave without a light. She kept repeating in her head, I am the light and I must find a way out of this cave. If I don’t find a way out of this cave my sister will not be saved. Saved by the harsh reality of growing up in the foster system.

     Rock sat straight up and wiped the sweat from her forehead. Her blankets where all twisted up and falling off her bed. She was still in her dream world. For the last week she had a nightmare that made her feel so sad and hopeless. She entered an abandon home and it was so dark and had many hallways. She walked down each hallway meeting a dead end.

She could not find her way out of that scary house. She always wakes up suddenly when she

notices Claire lying at the end of a hallway with blood surrounding her body.

     “Rock”! Rock!” Sara yells as she notices Rock crossing the campus street heading to the parking lot. Rock continued to quickly walk across the street and didn’t turn once to acknowledge Sara’s cries. Rock did not come to her Abnormal Psychology class and missed the presentation that her and Sara were assigned to give that day. Sara wanted some answers. Rock was not going to give her any today.

 Rock reached her car and jetted away. As she neared the home where Claire was living, she parked a block away to ensure no one would notice a tan old Jetta parked in the east of town. It was the second of the month and Rock had visiting day with Claire where she could take her for three hours of the day. She felt desperate today. She was angry and frustrated that she had only three hours a day once a month to see Claire.

“Hi Claire!”. I missed you.” Rock announced as she grabbed Claire and give her a huge hug. In that moment she felt an intense love and a warmth that only Claire could make her feel. 

“I missed you, mommy.

“I missed you too!”

Rock swiftly gained her composure and continued to pick Claire up and grab her things. She rapidly walked down the street as Claire bounced up and down on her hip as she hurriedly made her way to her car.

Today was the day. She placed Claire in the car seat and pulled the strap over her head and secured the latch between her small chubby legs.

She felt nervous yet exited. Today was the day she decided that she was taking Claire forever. She was done with once-a-month visits and was determined to be Claire's’ full-time mother.

     Her Jetta poured smoke from the exhaust pipe as she stepped on her gas and proceeded to shift her stick into second gear. The farther away she got the happier she felt. She had no idea where she was going with Claire but she knew exactly at this moment that she felt more alive and ready to conquer life with Claire at her side.