Little Boxes

It was that time again. Things had to be fixed and cleaned. Spring was coming and it was the perfect time. Spring cleaning was upon him and he had to finally get out of his rut. He stretched up his arms up to ceiling as he shifted sideways from the bed. Yawning he looked drearily out of the slits of the shutters. A little bit of sunlight was already shining in. He blinked slowly and yawned. "Alright... here we go." He muttered and pushed himself off the bed.

Slipping into his slippers he slid towards the kitchen and did a mental checklist of all the things he had to do. Vacuum the floor, then clean the dishes, clean the surfaces and counter tops, dust off many surfaces... So many things to dust off. He yawned just thinking of the things he had to do and decided to have a coffee first. He stared at the cup of coffee and had a small sip. A bit of sugar later, and he was watching TV. The news relayed the latest scandals and issues in the world as he finished his coffee. The coffee was soon done and still he sat on the couch, watching the TV. Reluctantly, gradually, he got up. Naturally he did so with a lot of sighing, but there was no one else to witness his reluctance and annoyance. But it had to be done.

He got up and began dusting first. Once the dust had settled he would vacuum it up. He started in the bedroom and started dusting off the wardrobe and night table. He dusted off her night table too, should would have appreciated it. He opens the drawer and sees her collection of trinkets. A dead watch, another dead watch, some hair pins, a bracelet, some tissues, a USB stick, some documents for their pets they once had. He sighed and closed the drawer swiftly without going through the things. The pain hit him in his heart like a quick stab. He tried to focused on cleaning instead.

After he had dusted everything he began to vacuum all around the apartment. The little bits of dust and hair flew in readily. He felt a certain satisfaction from the vacuum sucking things in quickly, it was fun to watch. There weren't that many bits of hair as there had been, ever since the cats and dog had passed away. He remembered Cookie would always play with the bits of fur that would fly around the apartment at times, hidden behind doors. He looked behind the door and noticed there were no little fur balls this time. Nor would there be any... He vacuumed the spot quickly and put the door back in it's position.

Once he finished he decided to empty the drawer that he had been storing things in over the years. There were some empty batteries he had to throw out, as well as change. He had many coins in there he would simply chuck into it as the days went on. He used to give them to his wife, she used the change a lot to go to slot machines. Once in a while they won a bit more, but in the end it was always a zero-sum game. But she enjoyed it. He poured the contents of the drawer out on a table and began to sort them when a flimsy paper fell out. He flipped it and it was a photograph.

It was him and Angelica, with their dog Goofy. He was smiling with his eyes aimed at her, and she was smiling looking at the camera, arm stretched out to get the picture. Goofy in the middle, panting from a long trip no doubt. He could still see the day the picture was taken in his mind. She still had her long blonde hair and her lips were full and red. The sun was shining and it was a hot day. They took sweaters because it was colder in the morning but by the time they got to the park for their picnic, the weather had cleared and the sun was out. They had been walking with Goofy all through the park before they could find a nice and quiet spot just for them. It was a very full day because of the weather. He still had his hair too, he recalled. Long and curly he liked to have it grow out as much as he could before they started falling out one by one. Well, not one by one but it felt like it. He touched his head absentmindedly and felt the bareness of it. Time was harsh to all.

He wanted to put the picture away but he resisted. He could feel the struggle within him, trying to avoid looking at it for too long, the pain was unbearable most days. But now as he looked at them together in this little still of life, he did not feel sadness. He felt happy and touched Angelica's face gently on the photo. He smiled. He did not remember what it felt like to smile and touched his cheeks. He could feel they were wet. Were they tears of sadness or tears of joy? He could not tell! Laughing he looked up to the ceiling "Ah... gosh..." He sighed and looked at the picture again and could feel the tears welling up inside of him. Holding the picture to his chest he laughed again "Ah... I miss you..." He smiled and kept the picture close.

After a brief moment he looked around and noticed that it looked much better already. Angelica would have liked it like that. He put the picture in his pocket and got up and walked around the apartment. He looked at the walls and remembered all the paintings she had painted. She asked him to take them down when she was sick. He smiled to himself and rushed out to the basement. He quickly got as many paintings as he could carry out and headed back up. The nails in the wall were gone, but the holes were still there. He put them in place and hung four of them up. Then he went back down and got some more. As he was in the basement he noticed some vases that she had also asked him to put away. He brought them up and decided to head out to get some flowers for them. Tulips. She loved tulips. The stabbing in his heart was still there but the warmth he felt was much more than that. He felt at ease and happy, something he thought he never would do again.