Plead My Case

A bright light shone in my eyes.

"All right, perp. What do you have to say?"

I blinked. "Um, what's going on?"

"What do you mean, what's going on? You were caught red-handed at the biggest crime of the century."

I was shocked. What?! I didn't do any crime! I was literally walking through the furniture store when... I'm not sure. It's fuzzy, but I think I sat down on one of the recliners and took a nap or something, but I didn't break the law.

"I'm sorry...what's your name?" I asked as innocently as I could.

"That's Sir to you!"

"Okay, sir, I'm sorry but I believe you have the wrong person. I was just walking through the furniture store and then took a nap."

The man laughed a booming laugh.

"Sure, bud. Blame the system. You were caught hiding a dirty bomb in your 'shopping cart', and it went off before we could defuse them. This is charged as mass murder and requires a severe punishment."

I stared in horror at the man. How could I have done such a thing? I took a nap! A nap! How on earth did I set off a bomb?

THREE DAYS EARLIER

I walked through the door of Marty's Furniture and Decor. I grabbed a shopping cart (obviously not for the big pieces, my wife wanted some pillows), and made my way down the store. I walked to the couch/pillows section and started picking some out.

After I had grabbed about three or four pillows, I moved to the Recliner-and-Chair section of the store. There I started to check out recliners. While I was, I wondered why I was here instead of my wife, who was the one who wanted this stuff. Whatever.

Right then I was approached by a nice-seeming man.

"Hello, sir," he said. "Do you need any help looking for some recliners?"

"Oh, yes, please," I said. "Here's a picture of what I want that my wife sent me."

I showed him the picture on my phone, and he took a good look at it.

"Hmm, I'm not sure if we have that in stock, but a new shipment just came in. Let me show you them, and maybe we can find yours."

I let him lead me through the store. He walked through the chair section and moved past every other area until we finally arrived at a metal door that I assumed led to their garage.

And right when he opened the door and pushed me inside is when it got fuzzy. He must have turned the light on and shown me the chairs. He must have just left me alone as I accidentally fell asleep. Right?

FIFTEEN MINUTES EARLIER

"Hello, sir," I said. "Do you need any help looking for some recliners?"

"Oh, yes, please," the man responded. "Here's a picture of what I want that my wife sent me."

I feigned studying the picture. "Hmm, I'm not sure if we have that in stock, but a new shipment just came in. Let me show you them, and maybe we can find yours."

I led him through the store and stopped before the "garage door". I pushed him in, and he quickly breathed in the gas, just as planned. I was not affected, however, as I put on a gas mask. If everything else went well, he would think he simply took a nap on a recliner!

But that won't happen. In actuality, he would become my minion, his mind able to be controlled.

I (my name is Garrett, by the way) placed a dirty bomb into his cart, hidden underneath his pillows. I set the timer for one minute. I never understood why in all the movies they set the timer for so long, giving the hero a big chance to defuse it. This time, I will only give enough time for this man to run away before it blows. It's perfect!

I watched as the man walked dazedly through the store to about the center of the building. There he simply left the cart and ran. Some people were confused, but most shrugged it off.

The fatal mistake.

I pressed a button on my remote. The timer started.

One minute later, BOOM.

----------------------------------------------------------------

The man glared at me.

"There is one part of your story that might give you a chance," he said gruffly. "The part about you thinking you took a nap. There is an illegal scientist that specializes in gases, and his name is Dr. Salvenhoevic, but goes by many aliases based on the country he's in.

"Anyways, our sources tell us he's been experimenting on a new gas called distractor gas. It makes your mind make up a story while subjecting you to his commands. We don't know how that's possible, but Salvenhoevic is clever."

I was confused. "Does that mean that you'll let me go?"

"On one account will you be released. You must go back to that store and find him. Make him think you're still under his control."

A different man walked into the room and whispered into the interrogating man's ear.

"Hmm," the interrogating man said. "It seems like that mission is no longer going to be in effect. Instead, you will be telling us which of the suspects is the real one. But be careful, because we have reasons to expect that he is in disguise, or at least not in the same costume as before."

They led me into another room. We stood behind a wall with a glass window that showed the suspects. The room was lit, so my eyes had to adjust at first.

I peered at each subject, looking for the one that I had seen before.

Suspect No. 1 was a tall, skinny man that had a tie and suit on; it seemed like he had been pulled out in the middle of work.

Number 2 was a tall (not as tall as the other guy, though), plumpish man who had a small mustache and was dressed in nice clothes like he was about to attend church.

Finally, Number three. This man was dressed in casual home clothes, almost like he had gotten summoned in the middle of his favorite TV show.

The man who was the culprit was obvious to me. I saw through his costume, I'd seen the small bulges where gas vials might have been that others thought might have been a pen or a snack.

"Sir," I said, "the criminal that you are looking for is Suspect Number 1."

He nodded his head and a couple of agents grabbed the man and brought him over.

"You see, sir," I continued, "there are a couple of almost impossible-to-detect bulges here, under his tie. And while you might think it's a pen for work..." I grabbed the vials. "They are, in fact, something else."

I showed them all the small canisters of gases that had been hidden under his tie.

After the interrogating man snatched the vials, he led me out of the building and sent me on my way.

Ahh, freedom!