Adaline's Joy

The sharp penetrating dinging of a bell, followed by the rustle and bustle of book bags flying over shoulders made Adaline exhale in relief. The School day finished, but her day just started. Kids jogged up and down the hallways. Dismissal always looked like a disturbed ant colony of freshmen. Adaline waited patiently with various groups for buses. She analyzed the sectors: the cool kids, the jokesters, and the loners. Adaline was the latter; Not all the time, of course, Jayla kept her company and conjured up a conversation. Jayla knew how to lather up Adaline with joy and optimism, even though that would all be washed away once she got home. “Hey, you want to go bowling this weekend, my family is renting out an alley,” Jayla said. 

Adaline wanted to say yes, but her circumstances swayed her, “I have to catch up on my reading for Mrs. Raina, I’m a few chapters behind. But maybe next time.” she said.

“Not even for a few hours?” Jayla persisted, but Adaline wouldn’t budge.

Jayla knew Adaline bent the truth about being a few chapters behind, she could see through those ocean eyes, but she didn’t dig further. The two girls waited patiently until the long yellow bus strolled into the pickup lane. Adaline and Jayla discussed, schoolwork, shows, and finished off with the topic of boys during the short ride. The many conversations at once, couldn’t overshadow their conversations. Adaline embraced Jayla before she parted the sea of legs in the aisle. 

“Thank You”, Adaline said while turning to the bus driver on her way down the steps; He waved goodbye and closed the door. The walk home shed anxiety. Something about the spring air put Adaline in good spirits even if the place she called home wasn’t so glowy, warm, and inviting. She turned onto her street; the birds chirped charming tunes and squirrels pranced about in the neighboring grass. It’s as if they’d been anticipating her arrival.

“Hey there Adaline,” called out Mr. Newton. Adaline waved back with a painted smile and proceeded into her driveway. Mr. Newton her neighbor, funny enough was a scientist with wiry gray hair that rested on his shoulders. He had to be related to Issac Newton in some capacity, she thought. Adaline knocked on the front door, stomps followed by clicks of bolts and chains made her anxious again. The door screeched open.

“You’re a few minutes late, take a quick nap then get started on dinner.” said an older disgruntled woman.

“Yes ma’am,” Adaline replied while walking past her. This was her reality. Chipped paint, dusty window panes, old furniture that birthed wear and tears. The spring aroma; replaced by a chalky odor that hung thick in the air and nose of those brave enough to wander in it. Home. Adaline stepped into her room, tossed her bookbag down, and splatted onto her bed. Adaline’s Grandmother took care of her ever since her mother passed away, her father was never in the picture. Not much living was going on in this house, only judgment. At least her room looked somewhat inhabitable. Adaline cradled her stuffed bear and shut her eyes.

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 The popping and sizzling of oil forced Adaline to flinch and stir the broccoli and beef from a distance. She looked at the time and lifted the lid with rice inside. “Shit,” she muttered. The rice was undercooked. Gooey fused rice grains found a new home on her stirring fork. The sound of intruding steps made Adaline go into defense and place the scorching lid back on the pot. 

“Let me take a look at it,” said her Grandmother. Adaline moved out the way and she watched her Grandmother lift the rice pot cover off without reprieve. Old folks loved to tango with danger. 

“Undercooked again? Adaline!” She barked.

Adaline started to say something but was cut off.

“Just be quiet… you won’t ever find a man with this cooking. Ever! You want to be like the rest of those non-cooking night walkers out there…huh…you want to be your mother?

“No ma’am,” Adaline said. 

“Wasted my rice once again, listen…you don’t want to be alone, it’s a terrible feeling. You want to find a nice young man with morals.” Her grandmother sighed.

Adaline removed herself from the kitchen before the dam to her waterworks broke. She shut her door and dove head-first into a pillow. Her tears needed somewhere safe to land. She wiped her eyes and dragged her bookbag over to the desk with the flickering lamp. “Big girls don’t cry,” words from her Grandmother, echoed through Adaline's head. She pulled papers and a small book out of her bookbag. She had to read two chapters and summarize them while identifying the various plots and wants of the main character. Much like the main character in the book, Adaline too wanted an escape. Time slipped Adaline’s grasp, and a knock at the door removed her out of her trance. 

“Remember, no locked doors… and here, wear this wig tomorrow, the boys will like this one.” her Grandmother said.

Adaline grabbed the wig and closed the door. She sat around her desk and placed the head mirror along the wall. She pulled the brunette wig off her head, exposing her bald scalp with a few lingering hair strands. She fastened the new wig on her head, it resembled her old one but much shorter with a bang. Not too bad, Adaline thought. Adaline didn’t need to forge a smile, this one was natural. She placed her new wig on a foam mannequin and got ready for bed. 

    _________________

 Adaline strolled into homeroom with a chipper pep; eyes peered at her, even unfamiliar ones. Mouths were moving, people like it, she thought. 

“You look nice girl,” Jayla said. 

Adaline couldn’t contain her rising pale cheekbones, she freed that smile. She noticed more stares as the day went on, but they were sprinkled with laughter. Laughter, with eyes that couldn’t meet hers. Adaline didn’t understand what was so funny. The wig fit perfectly, almost too perfect, she thought. Adaline walked with Jayla towards the cafeteria; Jayla tugged her arm. 

“Come with me,” Jayla said. Adaline noticed the urgency in Jayla’s eyes. The girls stepped into the bathroom, and Jayla checked all the stalls, making sure it was just them two. 

“Adaline, people are spreading the rumor that you have cancer”

Terror latched onto Adaline.

“I know you don’t. I don’t know if your wig came out of place yesterday or any previous day. I don’t even know who started it.” Jayla continued.

“Can we just go to lunch, I don’t want to talk about this,” Adaline mumbled.

Jayla stood close to her, in hopes that she could shield Adaline from the stares. While Adaline took sips out of her milk carton at the lunch table, she heard sinister giggles from behind. Before Adaline could turn around cold air rushed to her scalp and vulnerability set in. Someone snatched her wig. Adaline's heart got stuck in her throat. The giggling group behind her combusted into laughter and mayhem. “Oh my…does she really have cancer?” a bystander said. 

“Her head is shaped like a peanut.” someone else added.

 Adaline rushed out of the cafeteria and didn’t look back. 

“Nothing is funny, you idiots…and she doesn’t have cancer.” Jayla shouted. 

Not everyone was laughing, some students felt bad while others tried to correct the teasing assholes. 

 Over the weekend Adaline went into hiding. A prisoner of her mind and bedroom. She swiped up on all the “Jayla” notifications. Not because she thought her friend started a rumor, but because she didn’t want to talk to anyone, not now…not ever. Adaline wished she lived deep in the woods where no one would find her. Away from this hell hole. Her grandmother wasn’t going to be home until Sunday evening, she was taking care of a few patients, so Adaline had the luxury of wallowing alone; Until a knock that Saturday afternoon. Adaline tiptoed to the front door. The dark house only let partial light in from the dirty windows. Adaline perched on her toes and looked through the peephole. She recognized a familiar face and opened the door. 

“Jayla? What are you doing here and what happened to your eyebrows?”

Jayla took off her pink beanie.

Adaline’s mouth caught air and tears trickled down her face. Jayla rushed to embrace her. Both girls shared tears in the doorway. 

“We are twins now,” Jayla smiled. 

“You didn’t have to do this, and can I please do your eyebrows,” Adaline chuckled. Jayla and Adaline spent the next few hours doing makeup and Jayla even assisted Adaline in cleaning around the house. Through all the bliss, Adaline understood the possibility of Sunday getting messy.

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“Adaline did you clean this place up, it smells nice,” her Grandmother said, while closing the door behind her and placing bags on the table. 

Adaline took a seat on the stool by the dining table. “I’m done, Grandma…I’m done.”

“What are you talking about Adaline, done with what.”

“I don’t want to hide anymore, my alopecia isn’t a curse. I’m done hiding behind the silly wigs. Someone out there will love me…for me.”

“What did I tell you…looks are everything Adaline, your…”

Adaline cut her off, “And I look fine, you can’t live through me anymore. It’s over. I’m not my mother, I am Adaline. I only want to chase after happiness, not boys or likability.”

A warming feeling filled the room. Adaline finally got this off her chest. She never saw her grandmother cry in years, but Adaline knew those tears were heavy with trauma. Adaline held her close.

        _______________

Jayla seized Adaline’s hand, “You’re ready?” Adaline nodded. Both girls walked into homeroom with shaved heads and smiles. Eyes did what eyes do, they followed, but the girls didn’t care. Adaline didn’t feel alone anymore.