The keys jingled in my hand, and I felt my heart leap like a spark ready to catch fire. “This is it,” I whispered, barely containing the excitement bubbling up inside me. My very own place in the city. The tiny brass teeth pressing into my palm were the key to everything I’d ever wanted—freedom from the small town where I’d spent my entire life, a fresh start with a real teaching career, a space that was truly mine. I slid the key into the lock, savoring the quiet click as the door opened.
“Damn, Mara,” Bri said, poking her head inside. “This place is cute as hell. I’m already picturing the housewarming party.”
I laughed, stepping inside and spreading my arms wide. “I know! It’s smaller than I pictured, but…” I twirled in the empty room, letting the sunlight streaming through the tall windows wrap me in warmth. The hardwood floors gleamed, the ceilings stretched high. It felt bigger than it was—limitless, even. “This is it, Bri. This is where my real life begins.”
Bri plugged in the speaker she always carried with her, music spilling out and filling the space with pulsing beats. She threw her arms around me, spinning us both in circles, boxes and unpacking forgotten. “Mara’s officially a city girl now! Welcome to the dream life!”
“I’m gonna crush it.” I was breathless, the rush of hope and excitement pushing through me like the bass line of the song. We twirled around the room, the beat filling every empty corner, Bri’s laugh infectious. I could already see it—furniture, a soft rug beneath my feet, late-night talks with friends, cozy mornings with coffee, and maybe someone special.
“This city’s not gonna know what hit it.” Bri tossed me a grin over her shoulder as she opened another box. “You’re gonna walk into that school and own it.”
I grabbed her hands, pulling her back into our impromptu dance. “I start next week. And yeah, I’m gonna crush it there too. This—this is where it all begins.”
We laughed until we couldn’t breathe, collapsing onto the floor, surrounded by boxes, but I didn’t care. I could feel it, deep in my chest—the city was alive with possibilities, and I was ready for all of them.
As we caught our breath, I pulled out my phone, my fingers instinctively swiping through the dating app I’d been checking for weeks. “Okay, speaking of new beginnings, check this out.” I turned the screen toward Bri, showing her a picture of Ian. Dark hair, sharp jawline, and a confident smile. “Got a date with this guy tomorrow.”
Bri raised an eyebrow. “Ian, huh? He’s hot. Where’s he taking you?”
“Some rooftop bar downtown,” I said, shrugging like it wasn’t a big deal, but my heart was already racing again, just thinking about it. “He seems nice. Different.”
Bri smirked, nudging me with her elbow. “Different can be good. Let’s hope he’s as nice in person as he looks in that profile pic.”
“Here’s hoping,” I laughed, locking my phone and tossing it aside. For now, everything felt possible. A new apartment, a new job, and maybe even something more with Ian. It was all starting right here.
The moment I saw the man wearing all black on my camera feed, my heart slammed into my chest. He was standing right outside my door, a knife glinting in his hand as he jiggled the handle. I froze, my mind racing. I backed away from the door and grabbed my phone, dialing 911 with trembling hands.
The operator’s voice was calm, too calm. “We’ll send someone out, but it may be a while. Just make sure all your doors are locked. If he gets in or the situation changes, call us back immediately.”
I hung up, my pulse hammering in my ears. The camera showed the man trying again, rattling the handle before finally giving up and disappearing. I exhaled shakily and called Ian. I needed to hear a familiar voice, something to anchor me.
The phone rang once, twice, then clicked. “What’s up?” His tone was casual.
“Ian, someone just tried to break in.” My voice shook despite my efforts to sound calm. “He had a knife. I called the cops, but they said it might be a while before they can get here.”
There was a pause, longer than it should’ve been. “So, did he get in?” His voice was so indifferent it made me blink in disbelief.
“No, but—”
“Then what’s the problem? Mara, it’s not a big deal. This kind of thing happens in the city. You’re safe. You locked the door, right?”
“Yes, but—”
“Then relax,” he said, cutting me off. “You’re overreacting. He’s gone, and you’re fine. Just go to bed.”
Overreacting? I looked at the door, still feeling the weight of my fear pressing down on me. My pulse hadn’t slowed, and the image of the knife in that man’s hand kept flashing in my mind. “Ian, someone tried to break into my apartment. I watched him on the camera. He had a knife.”
“Yeah, and he didn’t get in, so why are you freaking out?”
I felt a wave of frustration wash over me, making my stomach churn. “I’m not ‘freaking out.’ I’m scared. I don’t feel safe here.”
He sighed, like I was some annoying kid making a fuss over nothing. “Mara, you’re fine. Just lock up, and don’t worry about it. This is normal in the city. You’re not in that small town anymore.”
My mouth went dry, the anger simmering beneath the fear. How could he be so casual about this? “I’m installing more security. A better camera, maybe an alarm system.”
“Oh, come on. That’s overkill,” he said, the dismissiveness dripping from his voice. “You’re being paranoid.”
Paranoid? I couldn’t believe him. I was shaking, still terrified from what I’d just witnessed, and he was acting like I’d imagined the whole thing. “It’s not paranoia if someone actually tried to break in, Ian.”
He sighed again, his tone shifting into something closer to impatience. “Mara, just… chill. It’s late. Go to bed. You’ll laugh about this tomorrow.”
I stared at my phone in disbelief, my hand clenched so tightly around it my knuckles ached. “Yeah, sure,” I said, my voice hollow. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
I sat on the floor, knees pulled to my chest, tears slipping down my face before I could stop them. Three months at the new school, and it was like I’d walked into a warzone. Every day was a battle—breaking up fights, dodging insults, trying to teach kids who didn’t care if I was there or not. I’d always new teaching was challenging, but this… this was something else entirely.
Most days, I barely made it through the day without crying. I’d hold it together long enough to make it out the doors, and then the tears would fall on the walk home, quick and silent. By the time I reached my apartment, I was a mess. My head pounding, my body aching with exhaustion.
I looked around the living room—the same space I’d once been so excited about. The beautiful hardwood floors, the tall windows I’d admired, now felt like a mockery. The apartment had shrunk. The walls closed in on me as if the air itself was turning heavy. The silence after the chaos of the day only made my loneliness more suffocating.
I had nothing left to give. No energy, no optimism. Just this hollow ache that gnawed at me.
I’d told Ian how hard it was, how overwhelmed I felt. I’d expected him to understand, maybe offer some encouragement, tell me that I’d get through it—that I was strong enough to handle this.
Maybe you’re not cut out for this school, he texted.
The words cut deep, even though he’d said them so casually, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. As if all my hard work, all my late nights planning lessons, meant nothing. Maybe it didn’t.
I stared at my phone, waiting for something more from him. A text, a call. Anything. But the screen stayed dark.
Was I not cut out for this?
I pressed the heels of my palms into my eyes, trying to push away the tears, trying to keep myself from falling apart completely. But it was useless. The apartment felt smaller, darker. More prison than home.
I woke up to the sound of dripping—steady, rhythmic, like some kind of slow torture. Groaning, I pulled myself out of bed and stumbled into the living room. The sight stopped me cold. A puddle had formed beneath the light fixture, water dripping in lazy, taunting drops. Above it, water stains bloomed across the ceiling like ugly, spreading bruises.
I stood there, staring at it, completely overwhelmed. I didn’t even know where to begin. A part of me wanted to scream, to tear my hair out, but I just… couldn’t. It was one more thing, another crack in the life I was barely holding together.
I grabbed my phone and dialed Ian. The call rang once, twice, then went to voicemail. I stared at the screen, waiting for him to call back, but the seconds stretched on. Nothing.
I lowered my phone, feeling that same familiar hollowness spread through me.
The job was killing me. Every day felt like a battle I was losing. I wanted to quit, to run back to the quiet of my old town, where I knew what to expect, where things were safe, predictable. But I couldn’t. I was trapped in this apartment, stuck in this city that never gave me a break.
The neighbor upstairs pounding away at their drums. The sound echoed through my ceiling day and night, like some cruel reminder that peace was a thing I’d never have. It was everywhere—the noise, the stress, the constant feeling of being on edge.
When I told Ian about it—about the flooding, the noise, everything—I thought maybe, he’d show up for me. But all I got was a text.
Things happen, Mara. It’s not the end of the world.
Ian and I were sitting on the couch, a movie playing in the background, but my attention wasn’t on the screen. It was on him. The space between us felt bigger than it ever had before, the quiet kind that made you realize someone could be next to you and still miles away. I glanced at him, hoping for some sign that he was still here—still with me—but his eyes were glued to his phone.
That’s when I saw it.
He wasn’t even trying to hide it. There it was, clear as day. A dating app, right in front of me. He scrolled through profiles with the same casual ease as if he were checking his emails, completely unfazed by the fact that I was sitting right there, watching him.
“I can’t believe this,” I whispered, my voice trembling. My stomach twisted, and I could barely force the words out. “You’re on a dating site?”
Ian didn’t even blink. He looked at me, completely unaffected, like I was the one who’d done something wrong. “You’re overreacting again,” he said, the same flat tone he always used when he wanted to shut me down.
Overreacting. The word burned in my throat. He always said that. Always made it seem like my feelings were the problem, like I was the one losing control. But this time? This time, I knew I wasn’t.
I stared at him, feeling the final snap inside me, the part of me that had clung to hope for far too long. I was done. Done with him. Done with this apartment. Done with everything.
I quit my job. The same day, I get a call that the city job I’d been offered might not come through because of the pandemic. Great. Just what I needed.
For months, I’m stuck in this apartment, alone. The world outside feels like it’s crumbling, and I’m trapped in the middle of it.
I try to make it better. I repaint the walls, rearrange the furniture. I hang up new pictures and buy plants. It doesn’t matter though; it still feels gross.
It’s hard to imagine the version of me who moved here.
And then I met Andrew.
He was different in ways that took me by surprise. There was no pretending, no grand gestures meant to impress. He was kind, but not in the way that felt performative—like he was doing it just to get something out of me. When I told him about the repeat flooding, or the endless pounding of drums upstairs, he didn’t brush it off like I was being dramatic. He listened. He stayed with me, even when it wasn’t convenient for him.
The night someone broke into my car, I called him, panic rising in my chest like a wave I couldn’t stop. “I’ll come over,” he said, without hesitation, his voice steady.
“No, it’s late,” I replied, even though a part of me wanted him there. “You have to work tomorrow.”
“It doesn’t matter,” he said, softer now. “You’re more important.”
I almost cried right then. It was such a simple thing, but I realized no one had ever said that to me before. No one had ever made me feel like I was worth dropping everything for.
A month passed, and I gave him a key to my apartment. It was small, this tiny piece of metal, but when I placed it in his hand, it felt like a huge step. The same key that once symbolized hope, freedom—everything I’d thought this apartment would give me—now meant something different. It wasn’t about the apartment anymore. It was about trust.
I had been through hell in this place, but this... this felt like something real.
Andrew stayed over more and more, until the apartment felt less like mine and more like ours. When my lease was up, it wasn’t a hard decision—we found a new place, outside the city. Quiet. Calm. Everything this apartment wasn’t.
As we packed up the last of my things, Andrew paused, looking around at the bare walls, the empty shelves. “You know,” he said, smiling softly, “I always thought this place was cute. But now I realize… it wasn’t ever the apartment. It was always you. You made it feel like home.”
I stopped, letting his words sinking in, and smiled.
Andrew wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close, his warmth grounding me in a way I hadn’t felt in years. “You’re not trapped anymore,” he whispered.
And he was right. I wasn’t.
I locked the door for the last time, handing the keys back to the landlord. As we walked out together, I felt lighter, like I was leaving more than just an apartment behind.
I was leaving a chapter of my life I no longer needed.
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2 comments
Awww I love this. ☺️☺️
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Thank you so much for reading!
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