True Silence is a Blessing

Nestled deep in the forest beneath the snowcapped mountains of Montana, lay in ruins the remains of six extremely decayed cabins. It had been fifty years since Monica had visited this land. Fifty years since she met the love of her life. Fifty years of wonderful memories. Her children had begged her to not make this trip, due to her health condition, however, knowing in her heart that she would never get another opportunity, Monica opted to disobey the wishes of her children and return to the place that started her life. The area that she found would be the cornerstone of for who she would become…wife, mother, teacher, and grandmother.

The sun was high at noon and though she was slower than she would have liked, Monica made good time getting to this spot. Her guide up the mountain assisted her in clearing an area for her tent and helped her to get set up. Working as a team they had camp set up beautifully and Monica explained that she was to be left alone for the next three days. That this was a sacred area, a special time, a moment of reflection between her and God. She explained to the guide that she was well aware of the surroundings, but not to disturb her until mid afternoon on the third day. With concern, her guide agreed that he would be back for her by mid afternoon on the third day…without fail. He gave a hug of encouragement and understanding to Monica and began his trek back to the base of the mountain. Because the area was considered dangerous, from a multitude of rumors and superstitions, her guide pleaded with her, and she agreed to allow a specially trained dog to stay on site with her. Should she have any trouble, she could command the dog to get help.

Monica finished tidying up, grabbed a bottle of water from pack, sat down against a tree and relaxed. The cool breeze across her brow was just what she needed. Her gaze transfixed on the dilapidated cabin forms; her mind sank into a deep meditative state of memories.

Fifty years ago, Shelly, a dear dear friend told her about this wonderful three-day retreat. It was purposely placed in the middle of nowhere. No phones. No radios. No electricity. No world. When it was time for a meal, a servant would appear at your cabin to collect you for mealtime. When mealtime was over you were released. Each retreat only allowed twenty-four participants at a time. Four groups of six participants would be assigned a moderator. The moderator would escort their individual group to a different location each morning and midday. In each location, the participants would be left alone to meditate, silently. For three days, no words were to be spoken. You were there to find yourself. You already knew what your voice sounded like, now you needed to hear your mind and your heart. The world used words to communicate, here gestures, eyes and mannerisms were the forms of communication allowed.

When Shelly told Monica of this retreat, Monica looked at her as if she had lost her mind. Monica was working her way up the sales ladder and her voice was her golden ticket to that dream house she had always wanted. Once she attained that, she figured that her life would be perfect. She was already third in line for promotion with all her hard work. Why would she want to disappear for three days? Why would she want to put her career on the back burner when the three days that Shelly was speaking of were the biggest convention of the year and if Monica played her cards right, she could propel herself into the number one seat. Shelly had lost her mind if she thought that Monica was going to give up this opportunity.

Shelly finally convinced Monica to have brunch with her two weeks before the event. Little did Monica know that Shelly had already paid for her place at the event. Shelly was convinced this was what her best friend needed. This was a time that she needed to break away from the rat race of corporate hob-knobbing and take a few days for herself. Monica was pushing herself to a heart attack in her attempts to be the best, Shelly saw this and had to intervene. She could not bear to lose another friend to the high stress of this lifestyle.

At brunch, Shelly introduced Rod. Rod was a well to do man of his late fifties, yet he looked as though he might be pushing thirty-five. His complexion and aura displayed a young confidence and stature. Monica was surprised to learn his true age. Rod was the founder of this retreat. He reassured Monica that he was no salesman. He simply wanted to give his testimony and explain why the retreat was formed. That if she still did not want to go, he understood. Rod explained that his wife was running a little behind but would be here shortly to give her testimony as well. Again, they just wanted to make sure that Monica had all the information available before she gave a hard NO to possibility.

Rod began to explain that he was corporate headhunter. He spent hours upon hours seeking the best of the best talent and motivated clientele. He had worked his way to the top of this business. He was sought after by all major companies needing exquisite employees that would allow their companies to soar. Rod had a gift that let him see the trueness of people and could guide them to the right company. However, the money and the fame that came with that talent overpowered him and consumed him. At the true age of thirty-eight, he collapsed in his office and was rushed to the hospital. Though no definitive answer was established, Rod knew that he had to change his life. This rat race was going to kill him one day. Because he was so good at what he did, even being hospitalized did not stop the calls and letters. Rod had to disappear.

As a boy Rod liked to camp with his dad and uncles. They called it bonding time; Rod called it hanging out with the big boys. The memories he had were all wonderful. He remembered this place that they had gone several times and where he always had the best sleep. Rod decided that he would go there alone this time and reset his batteries. He thought about inviting his friends to join him for a quick retreat, but after pondering on the concept of spending time alone in the woods with his pals, he decided that would not be a good idea. He decided that three days alone with no outside world influence was what he needed. Letting no one know where he was going or doing or how long he would be gone, Rod disappeared up the mountain. He explained that the nearby brook provided a few fish for dinners, and he had packed the rest that he needed on his back. Rod regaled the stories of his adventure and then closed his testimony with this, “The entire time I was alone, I felt a presence of protection around me. There was no one there, however, I felt secure from the wild and from the world. Those were the best three days of bonding I could ever have had. I bonded with my inner self. I did not have contact with anyone in the outside world and my entire being and perspective on life … well it changed. So, I decided to find out who owned the land, either purchase it or rent it, and then build the retreat of silence. So far, it has been a remarkable success. I do not advertise for it is not a marketing gimmick, but a cornerstone beginning to a new life.”

Monica listened with intent curiosity. Shelly watched her friend’s mind process the stories and changes that Rod had described. Shelly knew that Rod had gotten a hook in, now, was he going to be able to reel her in? Maybe, if he couldn’t, MaryBeth, his wife, would be able to. Shelly really wanted her friend to step away from the race she was running, but the drive in her to succeed was much greater than even Shelly had realized.

“Sorry I am late. Traffic on the turnpike is brutal this time of day.”

“Turnpike?” Monica said with a complete questionable tone.

Rod laughed and cleared up the confusion. The turnpike is our home with three young children who absolutely love to drive their mother crazy when she has to be somewhere that they do not get to go too.

Enjoying each other’s company, MaryBeth explained that she met Rod after he had his runaway to the woods. He caught her eyes as preppy wanna be woodsman. She thought for sure he was on some kind of television reality show. He was quirky and yet confident. She explained that there was something amiss about him that she found completely intriguing. He had come into the restaurant she was working at and ordered so much food she thought there was going to be a party at his table. He ate every last bit of it. I kept looking at him like where are you putting it all. When I brought him the bill, he did not even flinch and then tipped me quite nicely. Little did he know at the time that I was short on my rent and that handsome tip was what I was short. I cried the rest of my shift and thanked God for providing.

“WAIT,” Monica interrupted, ‘is this some religious thing?”

Shelly looked at Monica and explained that it was not a religious thing, it was look deeper inside you think. “Why do you think that everything I bring you to try is a ‘religious’ thing.” With hurt in her eyes, Shelly excused herself from the table.

Monica, still not convinced, turned her gaze to the couple. “So, is it?”

MaryBeth looked at Monica sternly but with very loving eyes, “It is a ‘make of it what you want thing’”.

Rod explained that while he was alone for those three days, he found a peace that he could not understand. He felt secure though he could hear the wild encroaching in on his campsite. He slept the best sleep because of calming of nature and peace in the air. If that was God, okay then, he was good with that. Many who had came to the retreat found God, many just came to terms with themselves. It was completely up to Monica what she got out of it.

MaryBeth, continued her story about how God had sent Rod to help her and neither one of them knew it at the time. Later that month, Rod had returned to the restaurant, this time to ask MaryBeth out on a proper date. He explained that she was the only thing on his mind since he came for lunch. The rest is history.

“Monica,” Rod began, “I started this retreat for those who are lost in their own story to find their peace. I spent three days in almost complete silence. There were a few times that I let out a few yells just to make sure that I still had a voice and ears that worked, but the rest of the time was silence. That silence re-centered my soul. That silence allowed me to hear my heart and my fiery desire and corporate recruiting was not it. My ardent desire was to truly help people who are lost. Our retreat is not advertised, it is done by invite only. Shelly reached out to me when she heard about our retreat. She is worried about you. She knows the path you are on is similar to my story and she afraid that you won’t seek a break unless … well until it is too late.”

In Monica’s group there were three men and two other women. Their moderator was of Native American descent and deliberate in their presence. You could tell that they had a natural talent for this. Their wishes for the participants were very vocal in a silent way. There was a since of security in his presence. Still unsure if she would last the entire three days, because that convention held her future in the palm of its hand, Monica pressed on to make good on her promise to her best friend. To take a time out before it was too late.

Monica started to get stiff sitting on the ground. Her 75-year-old body was not what it once was. She was fit for her age, but the diagnosis of stage four cancer had put her in a bad mind set. Monica moved to awning of the tent, located a pillow for the lawn chair, and found her way back to memory lane.

Her weekend was the weekend that she got a two-fold blessing. After acknowledging that she would remain number three in line for bit longer, Monica embraced the ambiance and tranquility of the retreat. The first day, her silence was like echoing tambourines in her mind. She could not fathom how anyone could do this for one day let alone three. However, after dinner, they all gathered around a huge campfire. Monica found herself engrossed in each flicker and pop of the flames. They hypnotized her to the point that she fell asleep in her chair. She woke up the next morning in her cabin with no recollection of how she got there. She was still in the clothes that she had worn the day before. How could this be? Because talking was not allowed, she could not inquire. Her guide met her at the cabin door and escorted her to breakfast and then a scenic precipice over the valley. Still confused about how she got to her cabin, Monica opted for a mental note to ask when the silence ban was lifted at the end. Though her group had been on the precipice for nearly three hours, it felt as though it had only been a few minutes. Monica was mesmerized at how time could fly by and how calming it was.

Now sitting on the same campsite as fifty years ago, the emotions and reflection of then came rushing back. Monica began to weep. It was on the morning of the third day, when she found the love of her life. Sitting in a cove with a pond on one side, joyfully playing wild animals to the rear and beaming light breaking through the trees, Monica saw an image that frightened her but embraced her in love all at the same time. She did not understand at the time, but as she described her time to her friend Shelly afterward, Shelly explained that she had been praying for her to have a breakthrough. That morning of the third day, Shelly brought over some powerful prayer warriors, and they all sat locked in prayer over Monica. Shelly began crying when Monica told her of what happened, then the unthinkable happened, Monica asked Shelly if she could join her at church next week.

As Monica sat at her campsite, reflecting on her weekend of silence, she felt a twinge. Not really sure what it was, she left it alone. Night was falling and she retired to the comforts of her tent and fancy cot. Closing her eyes, she saw the image that she had seen so many years ago, startled, but a peace, Monica closed her eyes for the last time.

When morning came, the rescue dog sensed an urgency and ran down the mountain. The rescue teams rushed up the mountain to render aid to this marvelously adventurous woman, only to find that her clothing had been neatly folded and placed on her pillow, but she was no where to be found.

A memorial service was held in her honor where Rod, who was now over one hundred years old, approached the podium and said, “Silence is the healer of all wounds and frustrations. When we become silent within ourselves, we see the answers that God has placed before us. Monica learned this lesson when she came to my retreat so many years ago. She left me this to read to you should she not come back down this time…” Rod took out his glasses, unfolded a single piece of paper, cleared his throat, and began, “Silence speaks volumes. The world is noisy and hard to understand. But when you take the time to be silent, then He can be heard. Do not mourn me, for I have found my way home. I leave you with this …Grace and Peace be with you all.” Rod folded up the paper and added, “In her ministry, Monica helped many to find their inner self. I watched her with addicts; talk them off ledges. I watched her with orphans find their foothold in life. I watched her in her own family rebuild burnt bridges. She was able to do all this because she became silent and listened. God is not our enemy; he is the silence that we miss because the true enemy is the clanging cymbals of racket to drown out His love. Reflect on Monica’s work and life as you do your own and find your peace. God bless.”

Rod stepped down off the podium, grabbed ahold of his wife MaryBeth and said, “Take me home, He is speaking to me. It’s now my time.” The two left the memorial, returned to the campsite where they, too, saw the image and light of Monica … and joined her.