Night Ride

Gerald’s grip on the wheel tightened enough to turn his knuckles a ghastly bone-white. Widened, reddened eyes kept darting between the rear-view mirror, the bloody and dented left side of the Mercedes then my softly shuddering frame.

Our eyes locked, briefly, but I quickly looked away, drowning myself, for that moment, in the ever increasing hum of the engine.

“Slow down” I whispered, mostly to the glove box, than my partner. With the corner of my eye, I caught him watch deeply the rear-view mirror, running his eyes over every corner of the glass, searching.

The look of desperation in his eyes, the constant shifting of his gaze around the mirror, followed by constant twitching of his lips. It pained me to recognize that scattered look on his face; it was the look Gerald bore whenever he was deeply considering as many worst-case-scenario possibilities as he could.

Yet, what was there to consider, I wondered to myself.

What felt like ages after I had spoken, there came a slight tug of the brakes as the vehicle began to slow down.

I could see that Gerald was not going to be the one to broach the topic, so I spoke up first.

“Ge-“ the words were caught in my throat before I could finish. I swallowed once, then continued, “Gerald, we have to-“ I trailed off, images of the sad unfortunate teen, twisted and broken, laying in a widening pool of blood on the pavement. What have we done! Fresh tears gushed out of me in that instant.

“It is going to be okay Melanie” I heard Gerald speak between sobs. He paused, throwing an arm over my shoulder. I was quickly reminded of that great strength he possessed as he pulled me in closer while leaning towards me, his eyes never left the road or the rearview mirror. I drank in the wild fragrance of the man I loved and briefly forgot how our lives may have been changed forever.

My sobs slowed. Gerald chanced a glance at me.

Oh God, my heart leapt as he smiled reassuringly at me and I found myself falling in love with him all over again.  I have to… He has to… My thoughts raced so quickly I was barely able to hear what he said.

“Huh?” I muttered out loud, so he repeated himself.

“It’s alright Mel.” He gripped the wheel tighter, continuing, “It was an accident.” I watch his eyes drift to and linger on the left side, the dented side, the side of the car still carrying the blood of that unfortunate jay-walker.

I squinted with an unexpected realization, It was HIS fault.

Gerald continued, “We just go straight to the cops.” He finished with a sigh.

I pull away from him, it was then, as I began to look around, that I fully recognized the district we were in; Alloway Street, with a Police Station on one end of the street and a Court House at the other end.

All the blood must have rushed to my head, for I found myself swiveling my head sharply to face him.

Police? I opened my mouth agape, unable to make the word.

Gerald sees my frozen state.

He inhales deeply, “Remember Jerry,” Gerald looks into my eyes, expecting me to actually remember who he meant. I am silent, so he continues, “He was the one who almost fell off the balcony during Bob’s house party.” He paused.

My throat suddenly feels dry, I am unable to make a connection, my mind is spinning, It was all HIS fault!

I respond. “What about him?” there is foreign coldness to my voice; stunning even me.

Gerald recovers quickly and continues without missing a beat, “He’s a lawyer.”

When I hear the words, I am suddenly flooded by images of my love, my Gerald, arraigned, dragged by uniformed officers before a judge, who dares judge my Gerald.

Gerald continues speaking, and with each new phrase he sends me deeper and deeper into a spiral of terrifying scenarios.

He said, “Mostly divorce cases true, but, I’m sure he would be able to find someone more suited to our case.”

Case? “Case?” I manage to croak out. “What case?”

I look to the love of my life and he is looking back at me; the vehicle slowed to a crawl. I know the look is coming, we have loved and lived long enough to know what the other could be thinking.

A puzzled look comes over his face.

There it is.

His eyes dart to the blooded dent, we couldn’t see the full extent of the damage from inside, yet, our memories of the damage were still quite fresh.

Don’t you dare. This was HIS fault!

“Mel.” His voice is heavy now. Lower than usual, there is fear in it. A fear I can hear in his voice, a fear I detest seeing in this strong and powerful man.

I turn my head away, looking out the window.

“Mel,” he repeats, “we- we killed someo-“

“No!” I screamed out the window. “We don’t know that!”

“Mel,” he says

I can hear it all in his voice; empathy, care, love, dedication and sense of responsibility. I can’t let them take him. It was HIS fault.

My eyes are still locked, facing out the window, I can ‘feel’ him reaching out for my shoulder. A thought comes in from nowhere and instinctively I give in, pulling my shoulder further away, not allowing his touch to reach me.

“No!” I bellow out, turning to face him. My face feels red, and my eyes sting with tears that do not fall down, I make my stand. “It was an accident. We are going home.” I say firmly.

The car comes to a slow halt this time, Gerald parks under a tree, taking advantage of the extra shaded area to remain completely hidden in the darkness. He doesn’t turn to face me until the car has completely stopped, while I can feel my gaze boring holes into his cheeks.

“No,” I spurt out. “Take us home.”

“Mel,” he says softly, “We hit someone, we have to report this.”

I feel a rush of heat up my face and down my spine, I resolved myself to save this foolish man. “Why?”

We lock eyes.

I speak first, “it was an accident.” I say, throwing my arms up, “accidents happen all the time.”

He nodded, “yeah, and they tend to always find out.”

I dug deep and stood my ground, “no, not always.” The tears began to fall little by little, not enough to affect my speech, but as a reminder that the dam had begun to crack and a flood of emotions was being unleashed readied. Through the tears, I continued, “there were no cameras, nobody was there, and- he- he-he-” I stammered, trying to forge those thoughts into words.

Gerald unbuckled his seat belt, turning to face me. “Melanie, what if it was-”

“Take us home Gerald. Just because we had an accident, doesn’t mean we have to go ahead and ruin our lives. If you do this now, … …” I trailed off this time as the tears fell down freely, without sobs. Through tear stained eyes, I gazed deeply into Gerald’s eyes, hoping to bring out that sole dedication to his family, our family.

There was a quivering in his voice as he said, “But.”

I knew then, reaffirmed then, remembered then, truly Gerald is the love of my life.

“Please,” I whine softly, “take us home,” I wipe the tears from my face then finish, “please, let us forget this horrible night.”

Moments pass. With only the sounds of our breathing until…

The engine jumps to life.

I turn to look at him, but quickly look away, I cannot bring myself to face Gerald. In this moment, even I have no idea what will happen next. The fear I saw in his eyes in that moment.

No, I cannot think like that… It was HIS fault… HE didn’t look where he was going… HE walked right into the middle of the road… WE were only driving home…

I shut my eyes… then… I feel the vehicle make a slow U-turn.

I look to Gerald, but for now he was avoiding my gaze, staring straight at the road ahead of us.

I’ve saved him. I did it, Gerald will be alright.

“Home?” I ask.

He nods once, softly.

I repress the urge to smile.

The rest of the drive remains quiet and uneventful. We avoid most major streets, taking detours and dirt-roads until we reached the junction of our cul-de-sac.

A flash of red and blue light caught us both off-guard. We both stared, transfixed, as we pulled further towards and up our driveway, the officers staring back at us, waiting for us.

A beam of bright white light roams over the vehicle, before settling on the dented front of the vehicle. I turn to look at Gerald, fear oozing from my face, while he just relaxes and shoots me a calming look. He chuckles once and opens the door.