Denial at the beach

I shove my suitcase into the trunk of the van along with all the other suitcases and duffle bags thrown carelessly into the trunk. I stare at the disorganization momentarily before I sigh and rearrange it all, attempting to make it more organized. At some point, I give up, tipping my chin up and looking up at the morning sky, birds chirping a song.

"Anna!" a voice calls out. I round the van to look at short, red hair framing Sadie's face, stuck out of the window of the driver's seat. "Go get Carson, will you?"

I nod, walking up the sidewalk until I reach the porch of my house, stepping up the stairs and entering the house. I skip up the stairs and round the corner until I walk into my twin brother's messy bedroom.

Dirty-blonde hair falls from his head as he bends down, tying his shoelaces. Carson looks rough, with bags under his eyes and messy hair atop it. He's never been a morning person.

"Everyone's waiting on you," I say, watching him.

He rolls his eyes, tipping his chin up to look at me with swampy green eyes. "Tell them to be patient. It's six in the morning."

"Yeah, yeah." I sigh and exit his room, skipping back down the stairs and walking back to the car, feeling annoyed at being the messenger.

I'm about to reach for the passenger side door before a hand grabs my arm. I turn to see brown hair atop a tired, faint smile.

"Sit by me," Milo says. I raise an eyebrow, and he continues, "C'mon, don't leave me alone with these three."

He nods to the back, where Scarlett, Matias, and Jayden are messing around, being far too loud for this early in the morning.

"Besides," he adds, releasing my arm and taking his warmth with him. "Carson will wanna sit next to his girlfriend."

I sigh, just now remembering that my friend is now dating my brother.

"Move over," I say as I open the car door, sliding in beside Milo.

Just two minutes later Carson comes stumbling out of the house, rubbing his eyes as he walks to the trunk, carelessly tossing his suitcase before shutting the trunk. I roll my eyes, grumbling mean things under my breath as Carson climbs into the passenger seat.

Sadie starts the car and starts driving, glancing at us through the rearview mirror. "Who's up for donuts?"

The three in the back cheer, following Carson's grumpy approval.

Milo and I just smile at each other, amused.

Sadie drives to the donut shop and we order far too many donuts than needed before we're back on the road, driving towards our destination.

Eventually, I get tired of the silence and turn to Milo, who I know is enjoying it, but I talk to him anyway, knowing that he enjoys that too.

"Did you pack the icy pops?" I ask.

"Yes," he says.

"The good ones?"

A small amused smirk tugs on his lips as he nods. "Yes, Anna, I packed the brand you like."

I roll my eyes. "Good."

He looks out the window, speaking casually as he says, "I also packed those drumsticks." He pauses. "The chocolate ones."

I raise my eyebrows, but before I can make the comment, the passenger in front of me does.

"Those are Anna's favorite," Carson says, a tone to his voice that I don't quite understand.

"Hm," Milo hums, looking out the window. "I didn't know."

Carson scoffs. "What do you mean, bro? Of course, you knew." He looks back at Milo. "You literally have a whole note on your notes app dedicated to A-"

"Carson," Milo hisses, glaring at him.

He presses his lips together, suppressing a smirk. "Right, sorry." He turns to Sadie, whispering even though he knows everyone else in the car can hear. "It's a secret."

Sadie rolls her eyes, focusing on the road.

I don't know what this secret is, but I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that both Carson and everyone else in this car believe that Milo and I are in love with each other.

Which is not true.

Milo and I have been best friends since we were six and pushing each other on the swingset at school. We even each other out. I'm usually the talkative, bright, and anxious one, while Milo is usually quieter, calmer, and colder. Or at least people tell me that he's cold. He's never cold to me. He gives me those faint smiles that he doesn't give anybody else. I like it.

When we were in sixth grade we formed a friend group. I pulled in my friends Scarlett and Sadie, along with my brother Carson. And Milo brought his friends Jayden and Matias. We've all been friends ever since sixth grade, and now it's the summer before senior year and we're going on a weekend beach trip.

Carson and the others always tease us that we both like each other. They think it's obvious, but I don't think that's true. Milo and I are just friends. Besides, that's only how he sees me. He tells me all the time. He tells me that I'm a great friend and that he's glad he met me.

If that doesn't say friend-zoned, I don't know what does.

Besides, Milo is a great friend. And that's that.

Sadie continues to drive, and after three long hours of on-and-off talking and stops at the gas station to use the restroom, we finally reach the beach.

Everyone grabs the coolers, blankets, and surfboards before running off to the beach. Milo and I start lying down the blankets on the sand while Sadie and Carson follow the other three to the water.

I start unfolding the umbrella, popping it up to give some of the space shade. Then I sit back down on the blankets, looking over at Milo who's watching the others in the water.

"Did you really pack the chocolate drumsticks?" I blurt.

He looks at me and nods. "Yeah. Want one?"

I smile and nod. He hands me one and I unwrap it. "You knew it was my favorite, right?"

Milo looks at me, thinking before he answers, "Yes. But that doesn't mean I got them for you," he smirks, looking at the cooler. "I like them too."

I scoff. "Liar. You don't even like chocolate ice cream."

He narrows his eyes, picking one out of the cooler and unwrapping it. "I learned to like it since you like it so much."

I raise my eyebrows. "So you learned to like it for me?"

"That's not what I said."

"That's what it sounded like."

"Hey, lovebirds," Scarlet interrupts, tying her bright blonde hair up as she looks at us. "C'mon, let's get in the water."

I sigh.

One thing that nobody but Carson knows about me is that I can't swim. I never learned how, so I never got to it. I always thought it was a pretty embarrassing fact. Not to mention I am sorta terrified of waters I can't see the bottom of. So I hid my secret from everyone. Even Milo doesn't know.

So when we got to the beach, I stuck to the parts where my feet could reach the sand. I don't do surfing, and I've just told them it's because I'm not interested in it.

"Say lovebirds again and it's a no," Milo mutters.

Scarlet raises an eyebrow. "You're in denial, Milo." She turns her attention to me. "C'mon, Anna, let's go swim."

I bite back my fears and stand up and grab Milo's hand, attempting to yank him to his feet. It only works when he reluctantly lets me, standing to his feet.

"Fine." Milo sighs, following Scarlet and me to the water.

***

Later, the sun was setting and Jayden had the bright idea to shove Milo and me on the beach to walk together.

Which, then, caused both Carson and Matias to join in, pushing us until we started walking on our own.

Now we're just walking awkwardly, not speaking.

Gradually, we enter the water until we're about knee-high, walking through it.

"I can't believe they made us do this," I murmur.

Milo nods. "Ridiculous."

A few long moments tick by before he turns to me. "Hey, you know what would be funny?"

I look at him, noticing that mischievous look in his eyes that I know too well. I swallow. "Milo, no."

"C'mon." He smirks, taking a few steps forward while I take steps back. "You don't even know what I'm gonna say."

"Yes I do-" I shriek when Milo lunges at me, picking me up bridal style and walking deeper into the water.

"No, no!" I start to try and get away from him before it starts to get too deep for my liking and I cling onto him instead, my arms wrapping around his neck and hanging on for dear life.

I can't see the bottom.

"Milo!" I yell, but he doesn't stop, thinking that this is a joke and it's funny. "Milo, MILO- no, I can't-"

I'm about to blurt my secret, but I'm caught off guard when he throws me, my arms releasing his neck. I manage to take the smallest breath before my body sinks into the water. I move my limbs, trying to remember the way people swam in movies.

But the fear and panic overtake me, and I'm really just flailing my arms and legs frantically, having no results but sinking further.

My lungs start to burn, and I start saying my prayers when a wave takes me deeper.

***

The worries start when I don't see her head come up the water after ten seconds.

She should be up by now.

Why isn't she up by now?

After another five seconds of nothing, I let the panic overtake me and dive into the water, searching around for her. Finally, my fingers brush her skin, and my arms lock around her waist. I feel her arms wrap around my neck and her legs around my waist, her limbs clinging onto me for dear life. I swim us both up to the surface.

When our heads reach, she gasps for air, her chin resting on my shoulder.

Her breathing is quick and desperate, and that's all I hear for a moment before her body starts shaking with sobs.

"Anna," I murmur, trying to get her to look at me. When she doesn't, I take an arm off of her to try and turn her head, but she then grips me tighter. I immediately return my arm to her back, holding her tight against me. "Hey, I got you. I won't let you drown."

She doesn't loosen her grip, so I take that as a sign to start swimming back, keeping our heads above water and at least one tight arm around her back.

The whole time I'm whispering apologies in her ear, feeling incredibly guilty for throwing her into the water. It occurs to me that maybe she can't swim, and surprise and even more guilt wash over me.

When I reach the shore, Carson and the others come rushing forward.

Carson seems incredibly worried while the others look both worried and confused. Carson seems to understand.

"Did she go in the water?" He asks worriedly, standing by my side and trying to look at Anna's face, but fails since she's buried in my neck.

I nod. "I-it was supposed to be a joke."

"Anna," Carson whispers, his hand on her shoulder. When she doesn't look at him, he looks up at me. "Is she okay? Did she swallow water? Do we need to take her to the hospital?"

I hesitate before I shake my head, remembering how she didn't cough up any water. "N-no. . . I brought her up in time."

He swallows and nods, looking down at her. "Can I-?"

I'd rather keep her in my arms, but I decide it's probably better for her brother to talk to her. I start to hand her off to Carson but her grip tightens on me.

Carson's eyebrows narrow before a smirk tugs on his lips. "Alright. You hold on to her." Before I can grumble out a reply, he looks back at Anna. "Anna, do you need anything? Water?"

She shakes her head against my neck, still clinging to me.

From the rest of the group, Sadie speaks up. "Let's take her back to the blankets."

Everyone agrees so I carry Anna back to the blankets, sitting down with her now in my lap. I rub her back while she cries silently, the only sign of sobs being the shake of her back.

I continue to murmur comforting words along with apologies in her ear, ignoring the stares from the others.

Everyone else silently eats their food, worried about Anna.

After a while, the sun has officially set. I think Anna has stopped crying since the way she's shaking suggests being cold instead of sobbing.

Matias notices as well, and I watch as he grabs a hoodie and tosses it over to me. I grab it, immediately noticing that it's my hoodie. I narrow my eyes at Matias, but he just gives me an innocent smile.

I sigh and murmur, "Are you cold?"

I feel her slight nod.

"Do you wanna put something on?" I ask.

After a moment she reluctantly pulls away, wiping the tears from her face. I swallow down the overwhelming guilt and worry, gently helping her put on the hoodie.

Once she's warm again, she rests her head on my chest, not bothering to hide her face anymore.

I continue to rub her back, now feeling fabric instead of her bare skin.

"Are you okay?" I ask, looking down at her.

She nods.

"I'm sorry for throwing you in," I murmur, the guilt showing in my tone. "I shouldn't have done that. It was stupid."

"It's okay," Anna says softly, even with her voice being rough. She looks up to meet my eyes, her green gaze crashing into mine. "You didn't know."

I swallow, looking at her. "That you couldn't swim."

As much as the words sound like a question, my tone suggests that I figured that out already, and Anna seems to know that because she doesn't answer, nor tear her eyes off of mine.

I don't bother questioning her about it, not wanting to put her on the spot in such a vulnerable moment.

"I wouldn't let you drown," I whisper, cupping her face. My thumb brushes over her cheekbone, my eyes on hers. "I promise."

Anna's eyes study mine, examining the truth behind my words.

"Well," Jayden blurts. "Y'all wanna get a room?"

My head snaps up, and I blink at him. "Not the time, Jayden."

"That walk sure did work," Scarlet mutters. Everyone's eyes snap to hers, and she blinks, looking around. "What, too soon?"

I roll my eyes, looking back down at Anna.

At this point, there's no point in hiding it. I don't bother masking the way I look at her naturally. I think she's done hiding her feelings as well. She's never stayed this close to me for this long, and I'd say it was normal because she's scared but she chose to stay with me instead of Carson, her twin brother.

I always knew it deep down but never admitted it. But, now? Now, I have no desire to hide how smitten I am with her.

Sadie speaks up. "That walk did work."