Stranger

“If you are who you say you are then show your face.” I said to the darkness below. I stood at the edge of the cliff as her angelic beauty rose to meet me. My eyes met her blue eyes and her white gown flowed in the wind.

“You are not who you say you are.” I told her.

“Ben, you can trust me.” She said. But I knew I couldn’t.

“I can’t trust anyone or anything these days.”

“Ben, I have always been there for you. I am your guardian angel,” she cried. That term Guardian Angel repeated itself in my head. No she wasn’t my guardian, she never had been. Yes, she had been there, but she had never been there for me, only for herself. 

“I’m not afraid to die,” I said as I stood at the edge of the cliff. Looking down at the rocks hundreds of feet below. The wind bit through my shirt and chilled me to the bone. It wasn’t a particularly cold evening, but the sun setting in the distance brought with it a chill to the night to which the wind exacerbated. “Of all the strangers you’re the strangest that I’ve seen.”

“Look at me!” She said. I tore my eyes from the rocks below and slowly gazed back up, my eyes fell upon her cunning beauty, carved particularly to fill this silhouette to be a perfect human specimen.

“I remember the first time I saw you monster.” A sly smile crossed her face and quickly dissipated at the sudden realization that she was giving away herself. I almost didn’t catch it. 

Yes I remember the first time I saw her. She first came walking out of the sea. I remember still to this day that she was not of this world. Her golden hair flowed in the wind and she walked towards me with the confidence of an angel of stunning beauty and grace. Water fell from her body glistening in the sunlight and the sand refused to stick to her angelic feet. She continued to walk my way as I was frozen in the moment. Her beauty surpassed by none other. I was mesmerized. She approached me careless to who I was and my heart sunk as she passed me. She was never coming my way, she continued to walk away from me and my eyes followed her every footstep. I was starstruck as if I had seen a real life angel walk out of the sea. She was not of this world, but how wrong was I to think she was angelic.

When I turned towards the ocean again people were running toward someone floating in the ocean. A little girl was face down in the water, her life forever gone.

They say some people are lucky enough to have guardian angels walk among them. That these guardian angels watch over us, protect us from the evils of the world, or maybe from the randomness of the universe or the ignorance of ourselves. Yet if that is true then that would imply a master Creator. A mastermind who could weave together the fabrics of our reality. A god who knows all that is and all that will ever be. A one true god. And if there was a Creator there would have to be a great Balancer because good and evil cannot be out of sync. There must always be light to fill the darkness. Heat to cold, white to black. And if there is a Balancer, a great evil, than there most certainly are creatures to act out his will.

“No,” I began, “You are not what you claim to be. You are no angel, you are a demon. Say your name monster.” I was provoking the creature now. Pushing down whatever fear tried to claw its way to the surface. “You are not the one you say you are.”

She did not move. Her haired flowed perfectly in the wind. No matter how hard the wind blew. Her gown did the same. She began to slowly move closer to me and I backed up accordingly away from the edge of the cliff.

“Do you remember the car crash Ben?” She said, her feet hovering over the ground a moment before planting them onto the earth underneath her.

“How could I forget the twisted steel, smoke and the fire in front of me dancing between both cars.” It was true. I remember when I came to, thrown from the vehicle. My broken arm underneath me, scratches all over my body, my vision was blurry as my brain caught up to what I was looking at. Two vehicles wrapped in each other’s warm embrace melting together in a fire that connected both of them. A boy crying in horror for help, pinned under the steering wheel of his car. Blood pouring out of his mouth. And there she was, my angel walking towards him. He reached his hand out to her, tears streaming down his face. She approached him with calm collectedness.

“Please help me,” he cried. She reached her hand out to him and the moment their hands touched he was engulfed in flames. His screams haunting the air around me as I passed out. I thought for the longest time it was something I had imagined.

“I saved your life Ben, don’t forget.”

“You saved my life at the expense of another’s. I never asked you to save my life! You took that poor kid’s to save mine! I never wanted that!” I yelled.

“You wanted to be the man who lives forever. There is a price for every wish. A life for a life. Balance is everything.” Her cool voice gave nothing away. “Look upon me, your guardian angel and rejoice in your love for me. I have given you everything and have asked for nothing in return.”

I laughed. “Nothing in return? A life for a life is everything in return.”

“Like I said, balance.”

“What master do you serve?” I asked.

“Master?” The word played on her tongue like she was mulling it over in her mind. “I simply aim to bring balance to the world.”

Again that word came up. ‘Balance.’

“You are no angel.” I spat.

She sighed heavily and closed her eyes. “No I am no angel, you are correct. My master is rarely as selfish as your Creator. But neither are you so holy yourself.” She explained. Her eyes shot open and they were solid black, her once warm glowing skin was now a blueish-grey tint and aged considerably. Her flowing blonde hair was now straight, black and no longer billowed in the wind. The once white gown now torn up dark grey remains clung to her body. What once was a beautiful angelic woman revealed itself to be a hideous monster.

I froze in horror.

A smile grew upon the creature’s face, her cracked lips revealed rotten sharp teeth. Every tooth looked like it had been filed down to a razor sharp point.

“What are you,” I asked, though I feared what I already knew.

“You wanted to be the man who lives forever,” the monster shrieked. “Well I am simply the vessel with which to make your dreams a reality. You made a deal with the devil and didn’t read the fine print.”

Her words rang true in the air.

“Ben you were greedy and now your desires have become mine to feast off of.”

I was horrified. She was correct. I remember standing on that beach watching the waves rise up and fall. My feet tucked into the sand as the water kissed my ankles each time it came in. Great vessels on the horizon hauling who knows what to who knows where. I stared out lost in thought, lost in the possibility of what it would be like to live forever. I imagined centuries going by and history repeating itself over and over again. I imagined great wars being fought and each time technology furthering the destruction, but also the resurrection of society like a phoenix out of the ashes. I could see it so vividly in my mind. And I was at the center of it watching each and every time. The words floating through my head, I want to be the man who lives forever but never making it to the edge of my tongue.

“You never needed to say the words for them to become reality Ben.” Could she hear my thoughts? Or read the expression on my face, I couldn’t tell. “Somethings in this world are created simply by imagining them into fruition.”

I looked down at my callused hands. My body ached at the realization that I was to blame for all the horror in my life. People died around me so that I could live. A life for a life.

I looked back up at the realization to what I had to do, and I could see something across the monsters cold dead face that gave myself away.

“You can’t kill me Ben,” She said. The knife on my belt already sliding from its sheath.

The creature laughed. “I give you life Ben! I create your reality. I am as much apart of you as you are of me. You can’t kill me! And even if you could you would die with me!” She laughed harder. Her cackle echoing through the night sky. 

I held the knife in my hand and in a the blink of an eye she was pressed against me. Her cold arms wrapped around me as I struggled to break free. She squeezed hard and the knife dropped from my hand. I screamed in pain.

“Do you know why I chose you Ben?” Her breath smelled of rotten meat, the only warmth coming from her body. Her mouth mere inches from mine. “You were easy. Easy to manipulate. Easy to control.” Her eyes pierced mine, those damn eyes stared straight into my soul.

“No!” I gasped. It couldn’t be.

“But yes it most certainly is true. You are weak. I allow you to be the man who will live forever and for every death you avoid I then can take another.”

My mind flashed elsewhere. To the realization at first that I couldn’t die, those experiments I had done after the car crash. Rope tied around my neck, the muzzle of a gun between my teeth, even the handful of pills I swallowed only to violently throw them back up. Every death I had tried on myself was a life taken. An innocent life given to this demon. Tears began to stream down my face. A pain to which I had never known encompassed my heart. What had I done? How much pain had I caused. How many lives were traded for mine?

“Join me and continue the path I have chosen for us.” The demon said. I couldn’t break free from her grasp. I gave up struggling. Her rotten face was inches away from mine. “Join me,” she whispered again. Her eyes asking me for what she wanted from me. 

I leaned in and kissed her. Her cold lips on mine, the taste of rotten flesh creeped its way into my throat. I did everything I could not to wretch all over her. But I began to feel her embrace soften around me. It all happened so suddenly.

I pushed her away and scooped the knife off the ground. She backed away towards the edge of the cliff and I rushed at her, knife in hand. I tackled her body and pulled her down with me. We began to tumble over the side of the mountain. As we fell to the rocky bottom below I plunged the knife into her heart again and again each time the knife became harder to pull out due to the coagulation of blood in her chest. Everything happened so slowly.

The wind rushed upwards, and as the ground approached I pushed her body away from me. I watched in horror as her body collapsed against the rocks and caved in on itself in slow motion, knowing that in a mere instant mine would do the same. I braced for impact.