Can't Escape the Heat

When most other students think about this time of year they think, ‘classes are out and it's time to hit the beach.’ Parties, swimsuits, and relaxing rule their lives. Not for me, though. I loathe this season. I live for the cool mornings and evenings of early spring and late fall. The mild temperatures that keep my body in check. They keep me from losing myself and feeling like I want to crawl out of my own skin. 

My parents are the only ones who understand my allergy to the heat. Friends ask me to do so much during the summer without thinking about what I would have to endure. I’ve mentioned some of the symptoms to them, but they wouldn’t understand the full breadth of my condition. Suzy has really been pushing me to meet her at the tennis court for just an hour. It’s still too much.  

During the summer I spend as much of my time indoors as I can. Only leaving the safety of my parents air-conditioned house when I need to. If I need to leave, I have my mother turn my car on and have her pump up the AC before I get into it. Jumping into a car in the heat of July would set my body into a dizzying and hypnotic state so the only ventures I make outside of my house are of necessity, or at night.  

I found a remote job writing articles for an online magazine to occupy my time. The feeling of being cooped up in my parents' house in front of an air conditioner is not my favorite way to spend my time, but I’m making the most of it. My various hobbies keep my mind occupied as well, but cabin fever sets in around August.  

The current heat wave is subsiding, and my weather app says tonight should be in the high 60s. Suzy planned a party around the cool night for me and all of our old high school friends are going to be there. I finally get a night to let loose and forget about the same old house and computer screen I’ve been looking at for what feels like ages. 

I finish my last article for the day when Suzy calls me. 

“Hey Suze,” I answer.  

“Heyyyy Laney!” she responds with excited fervor. “You gettin ready yet?” 

“I am now, just finished work.” 

A high pitch screech sounds through the phone, “I’m so excited! It’s been so long.” 

“I just saw you last week, stupid.” 

“Yeah, for a movie and ice cream on your parents' couch. This is a party, bitch. This is different!” 

“Yeah, yeah.” 

“Oh, come on, you’re excited too. I know you are.” She pauses for a moment. Then with a scheming tone she says, “Johnny will be coming too.” 

I blush, and my brain races, words escape me. Johnny has been on my mind for years. His infectious laugh, beautiful smile, and intoxicating positivity.  

“Suze! Stop, okay. Of course I’m excited,” I swipe on my phone to his number. “Should I text him?” 

“Hell yeah! Grease the gears, get the motor revving. Be at my house by eight, okay? And bring your sleeping bag.” 

She hangs up without a goodbye, but I don’t care. I’m looking through my most recent text messages between Johnny and I. The ghost of me that has been hiding indoors from this heat the whole summer has dissipated. Thinking about seeing Johnny later has uncovered a reservoir of untapped energy that I wouldn’t feel again until fall.  

I open a message to him and send a brief, “Hey!”  

I sit for a moment, watching and waiting for a response. The party doesn’t start for a couple hours, so I have some time to wait for a response. But I shouldn’t, I need to pack.  

Suzy and I camp out often during spring break. So, I have a backpack already set for a night under the stars. I just have to shove a few things into the pack, and I’ll be ready. I decide to leave my phone on my desk to collect what I need for the night.  

In the kitchen my dad is making dinner, my mom preparing the table. My mom sees me rummage our chaotic miscellaneous drawer in the living room and questions me. 

“What’re you looking for, hon?” 

“Suze and I are going to camp out tonight. I’m looking for a flashlight.” 

My dad hears my response, and my parents exchange glances. 

He responds, turning back to stir the pan on the stove, “You know it's supposed to get hot again tomorrow.” 

“Another heat wave?” I say, exasperated. I’m so tired of hiding in this house. 

“Yeah,” he says apologetically. 

My mother walks to the kitchen to collect some things for the table. As she sets them down on the table she says, “Do you want us to pick you up early?” 

I let out a defeated sigh, “No, I’ll make it back before it gets too hot.” I recover the flashlight and carry it with me to the dinner table. “What’s for dinner?” 

After dinner I finish packing my bag and check my phone. Butterflies flutter through my abdomen as I see a message from Johnny. 

It reads, “Hey Lane! You comin tonight?” 

I respond, “Yeah! Can’t wait to see everyone!”  

I wanted to say, ‘Can’t wait to see you,’ but I don’t want to seem too eager. I’ll save my excitement for later.  

Suzy’s house is in the next neighborhood over, and only takes me about forty-five minutes to walk. I take a step outside around seven o’clock to test how my body reacts to the waning sunlight. It’s still too hot, and the moment I step outside I get dizzy and my eyesight blurs. I ask my mom to drop me off and she accepts. We decide to leave when the temperature drops to a temperature acceptable for my condition.  

She drops me off at Suzy’s around eight thirty. Lucky for us the suburban home backs up to a deep forest. Inhabited only by animals, insects, and plants. Partying among the trees should not interrupt the neighbors.  

I head to her backyard to see that the party is just getting started. I navigate through tents, sleeping bags, and packs scattered about the backyard and reach the tree line before anyone notices me. A cheer resounds through the crowd as I reach the campfire. The excitement from everyone seeing me forms a lump in my throat.  

“She’s here!” someone yells drunkenly. This is when I take a look at everyone's hands to see an army of red solo cups illuminated by fire light. The people on the outskirts of the crowd move in for a hug. I give hugs back as I choke back tears and continue greeting everyone. 

I make out Suzy’s voice from the crowd, “Laney!” She runs to me and jumps into my arms. “Ahhh! You little hermit you’re here!” 

We laugh and I say, “Yeah, I am! Now where’s my drink?” 

She shoves a cup in my hand and looks me in the eyes. Without saying anything I know what she’s thinking. Still keeping eye contact, she grabs my hand, turns her head, and guides me past the fire to Johnny. As we walk towards him, we lock eyes, and don’t break contact until we reach him. He wraps his arms around me and picks me up.  

“Lane, oh Lane,” he starts as he sets me down. “Stays inside, but she's still not lame.” 

I blush as this is the same rhyme he recites every time he sees me. It’s stupid, but sweet.  

He continues, “Look at her mane, listen to her brain. Lane, oh Lane. What a name.” He ends it with a smile every time. 

“Shut up!” I tell him. 

We spend the rest of the night flirting and laughing. I leave his side only to catch up with friends I haven’t seen in a while, and play some games that Suze set up. The party winds down around two am, coincidentally when the drinks start drying up. Johnny shows me to his tent where I lay out my sleeping bag and lie down. This has been a huge energy expenditure and I’m exhausted. I don’t care though; the excitement of the night keeps my brain aflame. I’m not ready to fall asleep. 

Johnny zips the tent closed and we lay next to each other. Laughing and exchanging jokes with the others in nearby tents. When everyone else starts to quiet down he turns to look me in the eyes. 

“Hey,” he whispers. 

“Hi,” I whisper back. 

“I’m so happy you’re here.” 

I giggle and blush, “Me too.” 

He leans in to kiss me. Ignoring the alcohol on his breath, his lips are sweet. His tongue soft and inviting. Our kissing increases with intensity, becoming hot and aggressive. He moves his body on top of mine and presses it against me. I run my hands under his shirt, up his body, and wrap my hands around his back. Digging my nails into his skin and wrapping my legs around him. He runs one hand down the side of my own body and grips my waist, while his other hand cradles my head. His fingers gripping at the roots of my hair. 

I’m so entranced in our embrace that I don’t realize how insulating the tent fabric is. The air in here is growing thick. We’re both breathing heavy, our bodies increasing the temperature. It takes me a moment to notice, but I start growing dizzy. The intensity of my effort wanes as I grow lightheaded. My hands grow numb and fall out of his shirt to my side. His hand is the only thing supporting my head as my neck muscle's waiver. 

He recognizes what's happening and stops. 

“Hey, hey Lane.” His voice faint as my hearing wanes. “Lane, you, okay?” 

My breathing, while previously heavy, is now shallow and labored. I lay with my body limp, my energy focused only on bringing oxygen in and out of my lungs. Behind his head, I see the top of the tent twirling like a dark kaleidoscope. His hair enters the edges of the melding colors like tendrils of ivy climbing across a stained-glass window. The vines creep through my sight. A writhing mass of tentacles crawling across the ceiling of the tent. Like a creature I cannot hide, nor run from.  

The feeling of him staring down at me worsens into a feeling of being watched. As if I’m being observed by this creature above me. It spins and wriggles across my brain, watching back at me through eyes unseen. 

Johnny lays me down and swiftly moves to open the zipper of the tent door, then leaves. I feel a whisp of fresh air brush across my face, stopping my symptoms from worsening. The nightmarish vision leaves, and the kaleidoscope subsides.  

I’m able to regain my strength as he returns with a bottle of cold water. I lift myself up with his help, and chug from the bottle. 

“I’m sorry Joh-” I say. 

He interrupts, “no, no, don’t be sorry. Just drink.” 

I finish the bottle and lay down. 

“I’ll grab a few more,” he says before he leaves again. 

He returns in the blink of an eye with three more ice cold water bottles. Placing one in my hand, he gently places another under my neck and sets the other to the side. I don’t get a chance to drink another bottle or thank him. The chill from the bottle on the back of my neck puts me to sleep. 

I wake up to the sun shining through the top of the tent mesh, and Johnny asleep by my side. Placing my hand on his shoulder, I give him a soft jostle. He wakes up and turns to me.  

“Lane, oh Lane.” He says, groggily.  

“I didn’t get a chance to thank you,” I say. 

“Don’t worry about it.” He assures me as he brushes a stray hair behind my ear. “Are you feeling alright?” 

“Yeah. I’m okay now. I’m sorry.” 

“Stop, don’t apologize.” He smiles and kisses my forehead, then says smugly, “things were getting pretty heated last night.” 

Agreeably I return, “Mmm you’re right,” and I lean in to kiss him. 

After the kiss he checks his phone, “What time do you have to get going?” 

I didn’t even think about time. I should have sent an alarm. The tent is shading us from the sun, but I can already feel the heat rising as we speak. Like last night, the air within the tent is reaching an uncomfortable temperature. The hangover is accelerating the worsening effects of the heat. 

“What time is it?” I ask. 

“Almost nine thirty.” 

“Shit!” I lift myself up and start rolling up my sleeping bag. “I- I have to go.” 

“Do you want me to drive you?” 

“Neither of us are in any condition to drive, I need to go before it gets any hotter.” I stuff my sleeping bag into my backpack and exit the tent. Johnny leaves behind me but heads the opposite way. His voice faint as he moves to wake up Suzy. 

The walk to the front yard is already daunting. My muscles weakening in the sun, my brain faltering. The kaleidoscope returns, but this time in more vibrant colors than last night. The green from the grass, blue from the sky, and black from the road ahead of me. They fly across my vision like geometric shapes swarming above me. Twirling in circles across each other. The images overlapping themselves and confusing my thoughts.  

I fall to my knees in the sharp stiff grass. Crawling on all fours, the blades scrape at my hands as I reach the sidewalk. The skin of my palms all but sizzle from the blazing concrete. I recoil, and sit back on my knees, bringing my hands before my eyes. They too shatter into a mosaic and spiral away from me. 

Falling past the horizon, the sky flips and drops me onto my back. The disorientation has made it impossible for me to move. I roll to my side, letting the ball of fire fry my skin and broil my thoughts until there are no more colors. 

-- 

I wake up weakened on a couch in Suzy’s living room with a cold wet washcloth on my forehead. She’s standing above me with her parents, my mother, and Johnny.  

“Hey, Laney baby, are you okay?” My mother asks. 

Only gibberish leaves my lips. I can’t fully respond to her. Air conditioning, a standing fan, and shelter from the raging ball of fire in the sky bring me back.  

“I’m okay,” I mumble. 

A sigh of relief is shared amongst them, and after some time they help me out to my mother's car. Once home I rest in front of my air conditioner and count down the days till autumn.