Chasing Others for Happiness

What does the title "Chasing Others for Happiness" mean? I often find myself reflecting on this simple yet profound question, and my observations over the last 22 years of life have given me plenty of answers. Let me take you on a journey through my memories, as I revisit moments from my childhood, my teenage years, and even college, where I saw the same theme unfold repeatedly—people running after others in search of happiness.

Childhood Lessons

Let’s begin a few years back, around 10-12 years ago, when I was 10 years old. It was a time when my understanding of the world was still very basic, but even then, I couldn’t help but notice a recurring pattern. As a young child, I spent most of my days at school, watching the way my friends, seniors, cousins, and even my parents interacted with each other. The most obvious thing I observed was that everyone seemed to be running after something, seeking happiness in the wrong places.

Take, for instance, one of my close friends. She always spent a lot of time with us, her friends, yet she never seemed genuinely happy. It was like she was always looking for something else. Every time a new girl or boy joined our class, she was the first one to rush and try to make them her new friend. This behavior puzzled me. Why couldn’t she be happy with the friends she already had? Why did she always need something new, something different, to make her feel content?

I used to think about this a lot. I wondered why people couldn’t appreciate the friends who had been with them from the start. Why was everyone so obsessed with making new friends and constantly chasing after the next best thing? It made me realize something important: we were all running after happiness in a way that made no sense. Instead of trying to deepen our relationships with the people we already knew, we were always focused on what was new or better.

I, too, was caught up in this mindset. We all were. We were children, after all, and our understanding of happiness was still in its infancy. But as time went on, I began to see the same pattern emerge in other areas of life.

Teenage Years and the Search for Belonging

As I moved into my teenage years, my perspective on happiness continued to evolve. It was during this time that I began to notice how this desire for external validation—this need to seek happiness from others—transformed into a more complex form of searching.

Teenagers are known for being caught up in relationships, whether it’s friendships, romantic relationships, or even social status. I began to see my peers, people I had grown up with, shifting their focus entirely from academics or personal growth to impressing their crushes or forming relationships. While there’s nothing wrong with relationships in themselves, it was clear to me that many teenagers were prioritizing these social bonds over other important aspects of life.

I noticed how some of my friends would spend hours texting, calling, or hanging out with their boyfriends or girlfriends. They would spend days planning their next meet-up, often skipping study sessions or other important activities. To them, the thrill of a new relationship seemed to be the only thing that brought them happiness. They felt grown-up, like they had figured out life, but in reality, they were just distracted by the temporary joy of being in a relationship.

It dawned on me that, while many teenagers were busy running after the next relationship, the next social event, or the next thrill, they were missing out on the true essence of happiness—something deeper and more lasting.

In my own experience, I saw how I, too, was once driven by the same impulses. Like many of my friends, I had also sought happiness outside of myself during my school days. Whether it was through friends, material possessions, or fleeting relationships, I was looking for joy in things that didn’t last. But as I grew older, I began to see that there had to be more to life than this cycle of chasing happiness from one external source to another.

The Role of Family in Finding True Happiness

One thing that became clearer to me during my teenage years was that family, especially parents, played a pivotal role in shaping my understanding of happiness. Yet, in my observations, parents themselves were often busy running after their own lives—work, social obligations, or just getting through the daily grind. It seemed like no one really had time for each other anymore.

I remember, as a child, when I’d come home from school, my parents would often be busy with their work or other commitments. They would hand me a mobile phone or tell me to go spend time with friends so that they could have a break. But this constant state of distraction from both sides—parents and children—left a gap that no one seemed to acknowledge.

Even though my parents provided for me and ensured I had all the material things I needed, I began to notice that something was missing—quality time, personal connection. Instead of spending time with me, engaging in meaningful activities, they were often too caught up with their own responsibilities. And what about me? I, too, spent hours glued to my phone, scrolling through social media or playing games, avoiding real conversations or activities that could help me grow.

As I reflect on this, I realize that this disconnect between parents and children is one of the root causes of the cycle of running after happiness. Children, left to their own devices, fall into the trap of seeking happiness through the wrong outlets, while parents, caught up in their own busy lives, miss out on the opportunity to nurture their children’s emotional and mental growth.

College Life: The Reality of Chasing Happiness

When I reached college, I thought things would be different. I assumed that everyone in college would be focused on their careers and future goals, but I quickly realized that wasn’t the case. Many students, just like in school, were still running after the wrong things.

At first, I was surrounded by people who seemed to have it all figured out—the ones who were serious about their studies, career prospects, and future. But as time went on, I noticed that there were just as many students who were caught up in relationships, social life, and temporary pleasures. The cycle of seeking happiness outside themselves continued. Some were busy trying to impress their boyfriends or girlfriends, others were preoccupied with partying and enjoying life. Only a small number seemed genuinely focused on their careers, working hard toward a future they wanted to build for themselves.

It made me question—why are so many people still chasing happiness through others or external sources? Why do we always look outside ourselves for something that can only truly be found within?

Over time, I began to recognize the value of family and the simple joys that come from spending time with the people who truly matter. I realized that I didn’t need to look for happiness in the form of relationships or social validation. Instead, I started to find peace and contentment in doing things that I enjoyed, with the people who meant the most to me—my family.

Spending time with my parents, engaging in activities they love, like painting, listening to bhajans, reading kathas, or even dancing together, gave me more happiness than anything else. These simple, meaningful moments made me realize that true happiness is found not in external sources, but in the quiet moments of connection and personal reflection.

The Wisdom of Ratan Tata

One of the most significant sources of inspiration for me in understanding happiness came from observing the friendship between Ratan Tata and Shantanu Naidu. Their bond exemplifies how true happiness can come from meaningful connections with those around us. Despite the immense success and responsibilities that Tata Sir carried, he found joy in spending time with Shantanu. Their relationship was built on mutual respect, understanding, and shared moments of happiness.

This friendship taught me that we don’t need to chase after others for happiness. We can find happiness in our own world, through the people who genuinely care for us and by focusing on what truly matters.

Conclusion

At the end of the day, true happiness is an internal experience. It comes from within, from finding peace and contentment in the present moment and in the relationships that matter most. We don’t need to chase after others or run after the next thrill to feel fulfilled.

As I look back on my own life, I’ve realized that chasing happiness through external sources is an endless pursuit. We often look for joy in relationships, in social media, or in material things, but the reality is that these are temporary. Happiness, as I’ve learned, can only be found in the simple, meaningful moments with ourselves and our loved ones. We don’t need to run after it; we only need to recognize it in the world around us.