Canned goods

He poured himself a glass of white wine. "So, are you all right?"

"Yes, everything is settled now. We visit her parents. Even adopted a cat from the shelter for our daughter," answered the second man.

"Great to hear. I was worried about both of you. Honestly, I thought your intelligence and her character would lead to your ruin." His interlocutor, growing increasingly frustrated, pushed the plate closer, loaded it with salad and potatoes and poured sauce on top. He then asked the bartender, a very tall high school student who, for unknown reasons, seemed overly eager to please, for a smooth cognac. In a different scenario, at a lively pool party with his wife, he might have chosen a teal cocktail topped with a cherry.

After a brief pause, he replied, "We're getting older. Compromises have to be made. But it's more the opposite – my character and her intelligence. You've never really understood her, if I can say so. She's always been demanding, especially of herself, so you couldn't notice that she didn't apply the same standard to you. You only engaged in pointless activities that consumed time without giving anything back to others."

The first man sighed, "Let's sit down." The two of them scanned the area; many guests had already dispersed or were dancing outside the house. Deeper into the forest was a path that led past a green, algae-filled pond. It was abandoned, and the children had been warned not to approach it.

They sat down on a nearby white wooden bench. While slowly emptying his plate, the second man continued, "I hope you don’t take my words the wrong way. I have no intention of arguing now and making myself ridiculous. This is not some cheap comedy."

"It's all right; I understand. I'd like to think it doesn't even hurt me anymore. It wasn't the right place or time, was it? And then it was too late. I do accept that I took her for granted. I mistook her erudition for conceit, which caused me to withdraw. She was always eager to further her education. I was out of shape; I wanted to rest. She saw me as a blue-collar worker, despite I had an academic education years ago. Maybe my scientific field wasn't in her area of interest."

His interlocutor laughed. "That's not what it's about. I'm sure... Do you think I am a role model in always seeking to learn and grow? Sometimes I wish I had the permission to be a shallow man, lounging around and watching the game. But for the sake of my family, I know I must focus on what truly matters." He stopped. "She wouldn't appreciate that kind of talk behind her back." The event host had already tapped a glass with a fork several times, trying to gather guests for the cake. "But you were too complacent."

"Okay, and what about the rest? Maintaining such a lifestyle requires a housemaid. Her usual meal consisted of canned beans topped with fresh slices of tomatoes. Sometimes she didn't even heat them on the stove. The instant coffee upset her stomach. You can't live like this for long; then you'll have to spend significant amounts on doctors or psychiatrists. The dishes were piling up, the bathtub was clogged with her hair, the floors were sticky. The flower beds were so full of weeds that you couldn't see the soil. She was depressed. I understand that women also want care for themselves, not just the responsibility of caring for others, but... The era of geniuses is over, and everyone has to do everything." His cluelessness would seem entertaining to a neutral observer. Both were silent for a moment. Meanwhile, the host rushed across the grass. “Cake and quiz! Quiz and cake!” he shouted.

“Who hired this idiot?” muttered the first man. Then he collected himself, glanced at his watch, adjusted his socks, looked grimly at his acquaintance, and said, "I'm going. But I need a drink."

"That's the spirit!" said the sweaty host, gripping him by the elbow.

"And you? Are you lost in thought?"

"I'll join soon; I need some fresh air."

"I just wanted to see if everything is good with you."

"Yes. But there must be a storm coming; the air pressure is low." He watched them walk away. After sitting for five minutes, he quietly walked to the parking lot, started the car, and returned home from the event his wife had insisted he attend. After the exhausting week, she didn't have the strength for it herself.

She was studying at the time, with the raindrops falling forcefully against the window. She had dry, brown hair, wore glasses, and was dressed only in a t-shirt. The wife hadn't heard him come in because the door to her room was closed. The cat curled up in sleep on the windowsill, blissfully ignoring her husband as he walked by. The hired sixteen-year-old babysitter lazily watched their daughter as she drew with crayons and ate chocolate flakes soaked in milk. Every few minutes, the unbearable sound of the nanny's phone notifications pierced the air. Three lazy women, he thought, as he considered his wife, the nanny, and the cat.

In a couple of days, his wife would have her final philosophy exams in the second master's program she was enrolled in. The young husband paid the apathetic nanny more than she deserved and told her that she could go. He then cleaned the cat's litter box, thinking about how much he had sacrificed for his wife. He preferred dogs. Going upstairs, he lay back on the bed and glanced at his wife's bent back: "Why did Hegel break up with his girlfriend? Because she just couldn’t grasp his thesis! Learned women, that's something."

Fed up with life, the wife slowly rotated in her swivel chair and said, "You’re particularly insightful today, aren’t you? If that's the problem, I could have covered the cost of the nanny instead of you."