Song for Joshua

“You’ve got this!” Kira heard the words reverberating through her mind. That’s what Joshua had said to her at the beginning of this wondrous journey. The thought of what lay ahead of her thrilled and scared her at the same time.

She looked out at the audience through the side curtain of the stage and sighed. This had been Joshua’s dream for her. Her brother, her mentor, the one who believed in her above all others had always been there for her. They had shared a close bond. The fact that they were twins had made that bond even more close.

Joshua had trained her for months bringing out the depth and beauty of her voice. Growing up, he’d always said she had the voice of an angel and it was her God given talent when he’d caught her singing snippets of a new song she’d heard. It was as if she couldn’t help herself as the song bubbled up from inside her. Joshua would always smile when he heard her singing.

When she thought of him not being here to share this moment they had both worked so hard for she caught her breath on a sob. The car accident had taken his life and left her all alone to finish what he had planned for her.

Could she do this? Her hands shook as she raked her fingers through her long, golden hair. Her ice blue eyes, eyes just like her brother’s, filled with worry as she began to doubt her abilities even with all the training she had gone through. She reminded herself that Joshua had been a music major at a prestigious college and had gone on to be well known in his field. The fact that he was determined to hone her talent had sealed her fate.

When he started seriously training her he told her the beauty of her voice would make her famous one day and he was intent to make that happen. Grueling hours of singing until she felt she couldn’t go on followed. Joshua always knew when to stop and when she’d had enough. Then he would smile at her, give her a warm hug and tell her to change into something nice as he had reservations at her favorite restaurant. He always knew how to make her feel better.

As time progressed he had become her agent, bargaining better and better music deals for her. Audition after audition had become more and more competitive, though. There were so many talented people she felt her confidence beginning to drain away. Why had she ever thought she could do this? She remembered the day she had gone to a very important audition that would have meant a major step up in her career. She could also remember how the director had said she was good, but wasn’t what they were exactly looking for.

As she walked out the company doors it started to rain, a soft, cool misting rain. In all her misery she slumped down on the steps, put her head in her hands and let the frustrated tears flow. As she sobbed her heart out she felt a gentle hand on her head. She raised her head and looked up through her tears. Joshua stood there, a gentle smile on his face. “Now, what’s made my best friend so sad?”

“The fact that I’m not good enough might have something to do with it.”

He squatted down in front of her and replied, “You are good enough. More than good enough. Don’t let some two penny shister who thinks he knows it all tell you different. Now hold your head up high and be proud of who you are.” He gently pulled her up from the steps and took her to a nearby coffee shop where they shared warm cups of coffee and laughter. That’s what a kind, devoted person her brother had been.

He had been so happy when he had gotten this job for her at a major venue only several weeks ago right before the accident that took his life. She had almost canceled everything, but she had thought of how hard Joshua had worked for her and how much he had believed in her. She knew she couldn’t betray his memory and she had to honor his love for her.

At that moment the band struck up the opening cord of the song she had worked on for so long over the last few weeks. She had honed it to perfection knowing it would be a tribute to her brother. Her song for Joshua. She walked out onto the stage and an unearthly quiet filled the theater that had completely sold out. The spotlight rained down on her, washing her in its soft light, highlighting the glittering sparkles of her beaded blue gown. Her voice rose as she breathed into the mic, delicate, yet strong, breathtaking in its beauty. The song she sang told the tale of missing someone who was no longer there. Her beautiful eyes filled with tears as the heartache seared through her soul.

She turned then as a movement caught her eye from the left back stage. What she saw almost made her falter, but she remained strong. Her brother stood there bathed in a golden light, his blonde hair glowing in its warmth. He watched her with solemn eyes, then the most beautiful smile broke out on his handsome face. Again she heard the words, “You’ve got this!” as her voice rose to a beautiful crescendo, heartbreaking in its strength as the feeling of loss went through her. As the last trembling note left her she heard the thunderous applause of the audience as they stood to their feet roaring loudly. The tears she had been holding back throughout the song fell down her cheeks.

She watched as the image of her brother slowly faded away. Yes, Joshua, she had this. And she would never lose it because of the beautiful, loving soul he had been.