Mendacious Mind

I don't understand how they didn't see it. It was not her. Whoever it was, it was not Julia. Something must have happened to her. All I know is that the person who came back...she was definitely not my little sister.

Julia and I were always close. We even had matching brother-sister names - Julia and Julian. Yes, I know it sounds a bit lame. But I liked it anyway.

We were not one of those siblings who always fought. Sure, we did annoy each other often but we've never really fought. I remember the day she was born. I was at school when Mom went into labour. Dad had picked me up after school that day. I usually walked home since our house was only a few blocks away. But that day Dad had been waiting right outside the school building in his black sedan. I was around 8 years old then. When Mom and Dad had first told me that I was going to have a little sister, I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Actually, I hadn't felt anything in particular unlike most children who would have either been thrilled or horrified by such news. I had never felt anything until the moment I entered the hospital room Mom was in and saw her holding a tiny little human swaddled in a white towel. Mom had smiled at me and asked me if I wanted to hold the baby. She had made me sit on the bed when she placed the baby in my arms. I had had no prior experience holding babies. So my Dad was holding the baby with both hands underneath but it felt as if I were holding her. She seemed so delicate in my arms. A strong wave of emotion had swept over me at that instant. It had suddenly dawned upon me that I was a big brother. I wanted to protect the baby. I wanted to hold her hands and see her smile and hear her laugh and watch her grow. And I did exactly that. I was there the first time she smiled, the first time she crawled, the first time she laughed. Mom and Dad never had to hire a babysitter. As she grew up, I was very protective of her. I remember when she had had her first relationship. Her boyfriend was scared of me. I never really threatened the guy except the first time he came to our place and I said 'Hurt her and you're as good as dead.' But I would barely call that a threat!

Just about two months ago, Julia went off to college. She had preferred staying home and going to campus on a daily basis. But the college she wanted to attend was in another state. So we decided that she'd come visit us once every two months.

During the day, I would be busy at work or spending time with work friends as I usually did. Sometimes I would be at my apartment which was not very far off. But when I was home, her absence was painfully evident. Seeing her empty seat during dinner, not having the weekend TV binge with her...I really missed her. We were always more attached than other siblings we knew. During the weekends, we would call and talk for a long time or we would text. I soon got used to her being away and began spending time with my friends a bit more as Julia got more and more busy with her new life in college.

And that's when it happened. A colleague of mine and I were returning home late one night after work. We had to stay back to review a few reports that had just come in. I usually walked back home as I always had ever since I was a boy. But given the late hour, he offered to drop me home. We were one block away from my house when a dog ran in front of our bike out of nowhere and my friend braked. Inertia sent me flying off the bike and unfortunately, I wasn't wearing a helmet. The last thing I remembered was opening my eyes and realising that I was bleeding. There was blood in my eyes. My vision was blurry and my eyelids felt heavy.

I woke up in a hospital bed. Every inch of my body ached. My mouth was dry and tasted weird. I realised that my head and elbow had been bandaged. It hurt when I moved my head. Ever so slowly, I looked around the room and saw Mom, Dad, and a woman sitting on the visitors' chairs. As soon as they noticed that I had regained consciousness, they rushed towards me and gently hugged me. Mom was crying and praying and Dad was close to tears. So was the other woman...Who was she? She had long black hair. She was tall and fair complexioned; she was quite pretty. But who was she? I had never seen her before. She came forward and hugged me gently. 'Oh, Julian! I was so worried about you. We all were.', she cried. I was still pretty sedated due to the medications I had been put on and I was very tired. I soon fell back asleep.

Once I woke up, I felt slightly better. It still hurt but I was feeling a bit more fresh. Only Mom was in the room now. She gave me water and we talked for a while, though my voice was weak and hoarse. She told me that Dad had gone home along with Julia to get some necessities.

Oh, Julia had arrived! I couldn't wait to see her. It had been a long time.

I suddenly remembered the stranger who was with Mom and Dad earlier.

'Mom, who was the woman who was there with you and Dad earlier?', I asked as she fed me fruits.

'What do you mean?', she looked up from cutting apples.

'The dark haired girl. Kind of tall...Her!', I pointed at the woman who had just entered the room along with Dad.

'Why, its Julia!', my Mom laughed uneasily. I looked at the woman. She seemed shocked.

'Come on, Mom! Don't kid me!', I laughed. Mom's face turned into an expression of horror.

'This is your sister, Julian!', Dad said, suddenly looking scared. 'Don't you recognise her?' I looked at her. Tears were streaming down her face. My Mom was already sitting on a chair, barely moving.

This has got be a joke. The woman looked about my sister's age. But it was definitely not her. I would recognise my Julia anywhere. Whoever it was, it was not her.

Everyone thought there was something wrong with me. That I got messed up in the head. The doctors had told everyone that I had a condition called the Capgras Syndrome which apparently made me mistake a loved one for an impostor. That in the accident, I had suffered some lesions in some parts of my brain that was responsible for facial recognition. But they couldn't fool me. I knew it was not my sister right away. As if I would ever be unable to recognise her! But what this meant was that Julia was in deep trouble. And since everyone was under the impression that she was already home, no one would go searching for her. I had to do something. I had to.

It was not very hard to get my hands on a knife. I was able to easily hide one in my pocket from the nurse's tray while the nurse was changing my IV bottle. I was on some sort of medication. Mom had told me all about it. She had told me that I would soon be able to recognise my sister. I’d pretended as if I believed it .

Day after day, the woman would come and sit with me for a long time. I pretended to remember things. I pretended as if I were starting to recognise her. She was a great actress. She acted as if she were my Julia. She was so good that  my parents actually believed that she was their daughter. I would soon put an end to that.

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It has been quite a while now since I was put on medication. The woman pretending to be Julia came to visit me again.

She sat by the bed and held my hands. 'I miss you, Ju!', she said, her eyes wet. 'I wish you would recognise me completely one day.'

I clutched the knife in one hand and drew a deep breath. It was time.

'Oh, I do.', I looked at her. She looked up, surprised. 'You do?'

'Yes', I smiled.

'You are an impostor pretending to be my Julia', I shouted.

Pain flashed across her face. 'No, Ju. I-'

I gripped her wrist tight, pulled her close and slid the cold knife right across her pale neck, immediately slashing the jugular. Blood sprayed across my face. There was blood everywhere- hot, dark blood. She fell to the floor. Her eyes wide, her hands clutching her neck.

Yes! I had done it! It was not pleasant but I had done it. Since the impostor was out of the scene, someone would look for Julia now. Or maybe whoever was holding her hostage would hear the news and let her go. 

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It has been a month since I killed the impostor. My parents, the police, the doctors- they all believe that the woman I killed was Julia. I keep telling them that it was an impostor. I keep telling them to search for my sister, the real Julia. But they don't!

Mom and Dad just stood there crying, with a pained expression on their face, when a few people came to take me to an institution far away that could provide 'better treatment' for me.

As they were taking me away, Mom held my hand and kissed me on the forehead. I couldn't bear to see her crying. She must think that she had lost both her children. 'She'll come back, Mom', I said. Mom started crying harder. 'Tell her, Dad.', I looked at him. Tears were sliding down his cheeks.

Oh, Julia! I miss her so much. Why isn't she coming back? Everyone thinks I killed her. That I, her own brother, killed her. But I know that's not true. I killed the impostor pretending to be her so that she could come back. Julia isn’t dead. I can feel it. I know it in my heart. She'll come back one day. She has to, sooner or later. Till then I'll wait for her. No matter how long it takes, I'll be right here waiting for her...