My secret love :)

They were finally here, and her heart began to beat just a little bit faster. This was her first time seeing her friends in close to four months since they had all been away at college. She was particularly nervous to see one person, but before she had time to think about it, they all barged in. She gave them all hugs as they were screeching loudly, but of course not loud enough to wake up her parents. Then, they eagerly ran downstairs to start the party. What better way to celebrate than getting together for New Year’s Eve. She passed out the drinks and of course mixed together their classic drink of vodka and lemonade.

L pulled her aside.

“Hey, I really missed you. I’m so happy we can finally spend time together.”

“I know, it has been so hard, but let’s just enjoy the time that we have! Hey, it’s my favorite song! Let’s go dance!”

L took her and hugged her, but not too noticeably because their friends were there. Then they began to sway to “Disfruto.” It felt nearly impossible for L to not kiss her right then and there as the song went on.

“Quiero darte un beso.” I want to give you a kiss.

“Perder contigo mi tiempo.” Lose time with you.

“Guardar tus secretos.” Guard your secrets.

“Cuidar tus momentos.” Take care of your moments.

Of course she wanted to be kissed, but L was too nervous and always resorted to small talk when it came to expressing feelings.

“Um, don’t you just love this song?”

“Yes! It’s beautiful. Do you want to come to the bathroom with me though? I think I drank too much of our signature drink.”

L was not expecting that but agreed to go in the small basement bathroom with her anyways.

L turned away as she pulled down her pants but couldn’t help but notice her cute light blue underwear. L’s favorite color was blue too.

“Hey L! Turn around! It’s blue underwear!”

“Haha… I like them!”

“Do you like me?”

“Yes. Of course I do.”

“I mean as more than friends?”

“Um, yeah.”

“Then, why haven’t you kissed me yet?”

“Because I’m scared.”

“Don’t be.”

L pulled her in and gently touched her face. L couldn’t believe she was about to do this. She always dreamed about kissing girls but never had someone who liked her back before. L ran her hands down Maya’s body.

“Is this okay Maya?”

“Yes, of course.”

Then, L slowly began to kiss Maya’s neck. Their breathing got faster, and L could feel Maya’s heart pounding. L grabbed her and put her against the wall. Just as she did this, there was a rapid knock on the door from one of their friends.

“Hurry up, I need to go to the bathroom!”

L and Maya jumped and quickly stopped what they were doing, but they walked out with big smiles on their faces. They knew they needed to tell their friends the truth sooner or later. As the night went on, the drinks and the dancing continued, and everyone began to huddle around the tv for the New Year’s countdown.

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

Happy New Year! Everyone began jumping and screaming. Maya leaned over and kissed L, and it felt liked fireworks went off in her brain or maybe it was the fireworks on the tv. Either way, Maya was so eager to start the new year with L. Right before L was about to leave, Maya quietly whispered into her ear if she wanted to go out with her. L squeezed her with a big “yes” and waved goodbye as she drove away.

Then, the days passed and eventually it was time for everyone to go back to college. It was much harder than Maya expected being away from L, but she kept counting down the days until she got to see her again.

Two months passed, and it was time to come home for spring break. Just like she did from the start, Maya eagerly waited at the door, except this time it was just L. L sprinted out of car, picked up Maya, and kissed her. This was risky, as the neighbors could have been watching, so Maya yelled at her to put her down.

Luckily Maya’s parents weren’t home, so they snuck inside. They ran down to the basement like usual and turned on a scary movie. Maya couldn’t focus because all she could do was look at L. Then, L laid on Maya’s lap. L could have stayed like that forever in the safety of Maya’s warmth. Maya slowly bent down and grabbed L’s face. Their lips slowly touched and then moved faster and faster in sync, as if they were only one lip to begin with. Hours passed, but then Maya jumped up because she remembered her parents were coming home soon. L ran out the door, and she and Maya secretly did this for the next week they had home together for spring break.

Maya began to wonder if that one phrase “all good things must come to an end” was really true because then they had to leave again to go back for college, hundreds of miles apart. It felt harder and harder to be apart from L, but it seemed that each time they were together became more and more special.

Summer came and Maya and L spent all their time together. They finally became comfortable holding hands in public, and all almost seemed right with the world. Except, something was eating Maya alive. She hated keeping L a secret and knew she needed to gather up all of her courage to tell her parents.

So, she sat down around the dinner table with them. Just before they were about to get up, Maya said, “I have a surprise for you guys.”

Naturally her parents were curious and asked what it was, and Maya hesitantly told them that she was in a relationship. Her parents jumped with joy and asked who he was. Maya was not answering so then they asked if he was a high school friend or a college friend. Maya started to burst into tears, and her parents ran over to hug her, telling her it was okay to tell them. Maya said that it was not a boy and told them that it was her four-year high school friend L. They held her as she continued to cry but eventually her dad had to step away. She thought it went quite well until her dad fell on the floor. At first, she thought he was joking to mess with her for having a girlfriend. Then, she realized he was not messing around. Maya’s brother pulled her away, and she began to sob because she thought she killed her dad. Luckily, Maya’s mom was a doctor and realized that he just passed out and did what she needed to do to help him. Maya felt terrible and sat in bed until the next morning. As if things couldn’t get worse, Maya’s mom came into the room and sat on her bed. She began to ask Maya what had happened to the little precious and perfect baby girl that she knew. Then, she told Maya that she was not allowed to tell anymore people about her having a girlfriend. She told Maya she was being impulsive and said that this recent revelation was unreasonable even though Maya had felt this way for years. Her mom feared Maya was going to die her hair green and get piercings now and that she would feel the need to change herself. Then her mom continued to ramble about how Maya’s dad now cries himself to sleep every night and that they are going to need a lot of time to register this.

Maya then stayed in bed for what felt like a week, so sad, lonely, and depressed. She completely regretted telling her parents and was truly in shock that they were disappointed in her for finding someone that she loves and makes her happy.

L knew what had happened and just as Maya was standing outside trying to get some fresh air from everything, L pulled up into the driveway. Maya was happy her parents were in bed by this point, and she and L just sat in the driveway and stared at the stars. It was their favorite thing to admire the big dipper together. It was 11:59 PM. Just as L was about to go, she gave Maya the most gentle and intimate kiss, and for a split second, Maya was able to let go of the world and be taken back to New Year’s Eve night when everything was perfect as they shared their first kiss together. And this split second is what Maya has held onto ever since to give her hope. I should know. I am Maya.