Where we met

I don’t think I’ll ever forget the day I became friends with Tristan, though it’s a memory I wish I could erase from my mind.

The weather was hot and sticky. My shirt clung to my back like a second skin and the sound of cicadas echoed through the empty park.

That day Mom forced me to go outside even though I was perfectly content to just lay in my bed and stare at the walls.

I would’ve stayed there for hours memorizing the specks of granite under uneven coats of paint, or the residue from stickers the kids who had lived there before stuck on.

Mom knew it wasn’t normal for a nine year old boy to lie in bed for days at a time, staring at nothing, so she forced me to go to the park in our new neighborhood I hadn’t yet seen.

“You used to love going to the playground.” Mom sat on the edge of my bed, combing her fingers through my black hair I hadn’t cut in months. “Remember when you always begged me to take you?”

Well that was when Dad was still alive, I didn’t say.

A welcome breeze ruffled tree branches as I crouched in the dirt and drew with a stick.

“Are those Pokemon characters?” A voice asked.

My eyes squinted against the sun to see a boy with golden hair and glasses far too big for his face.

I nodded.

He grinned, his gap tooth smile shining bright. “What’s your favorite Pokemon?”

I shrugged.

A few months before I would’ve answered that question, but as I sat there I realized I didn’t care, that I didn’t really care about anything.

“Do you have a favorite?”

He nodded, sitting on the ground. “I like Eevee.”

I snorted. “That’s basic.”

“Huh?!” He sprung to his feet. “What do you mean by that?!”

“It’s just that everyone likes Eevee.”

“Well it’s better than having no answer at all.”

I sighed, already feeling exhausted. “I guess you’re right.”

He crossed his arms and sat back down, picking up another stick to draw.

Even to this day we don’t offer up apologies or words of forgiveness, we just sit and let the silence speak the words we’ll never say.

“Do you want to be friends?” He asked when he had to go home.

I nodded and said yes.

That summer would’ve been the funnest summer if it had happened to anyone else but me.

We played at the park almost everyday and raced down hills with our bikes. In the evenings we would eat at his place or we would eat at mine.

Sometimes I’d find myself laughing and yelling along with him, feeling like we were both on top of the world, until I would remember that we weren’t.

We were just two boys in a world filled with billions of people, all of whom had probably thought the same thing at one point in their lives.

Summer turned into fall and I found it harder and harder to get out of bed. But I still did, for him.

When it was time to go back to school I was fully prepared for Tristan and I to no longer be friends. Over summer break he talked about the other kids from his school, and it seemed to me like he was part of the more popular crowd.

I wouldn’t have blamed him if he had ditched me. Really I wouldn’t have, but when the first day of school rolled around for some reason he stuck with me instead of hanging out with his other friends.

I never understood why he did it, but I never asked about it either.

⚘⚘⚘

“What college are you thinking about going to?” I ask as we sit on a bench. Even with the shade of the tree we’re still sweating.

Tristan throws back his head. “Ugh! Don’t ask me that! It’s already bad enough my mom’s hammering that question into my skull everyday, I don’t need you to do it either.” He brings his already half eaten blue raspberry popsicle to his mouth. “How about you, Mr. Genius? Any colleges in mind?”

I peel the sticky wrapper away from my grape flavored popsicle. “Hopefully I’ll be dead before I have to decide.”

Tristan snorts. I try to force a smile, pretending it’s a joke.

“You gonna eat that?” He points to my melting popsicle, already finished with his.

“Yep, grape’s my favorite.” I say, bringing it to my lips. It tastes like dust. Everything does now.

He pouts and slumps against the back of the bench.

“How’s Sabrina?” I ask.

Ever since the first day of highschool girls have been drooling all over him. Guess that’s what happens when you get contacts and your braces off. Sure to girls he's good looking, but dating him would be like dating a literal child.

He sighs. “I think I’m gonna break up with her.”

“Really?” I try to sound surprised.

“It’s just she’s too good for me, I can’t give her what she wants.”

I lick my popsicle. “You sure are right about that.”

He elbows me in the gut. “Want to talk about your love life? Oh wait, you don’t have one.”

“Ha ha.”

In moments like these I can almost pretend there isn’t a chasm between us.

“I think it’s the man bun dude. Girls like pretty boys.” He points out.

“You mean they like boys who look like girls?”

Kids laugh and yell chasing pigeons into the air.

“Did you just say I look like a girl?”

“Maybe.” I mumble through a mouthful of popsicle.

“Last time I checked I could deadlift more than you.”

“Doesn’t change your face though.” He punches my shoulder.

A lady walks by us with her dog.

“You doing ok? Looks like you’ve lost weight.”

I lick my popsicle stick clean. “Just stressed, senior year you know?” I lie.

He nods. “Yeah, it feels like life has gone by like that:” He snaps his fingers. “Soon you’ll be living in an apartment by yourself, working at some musty office, and I’ll be doing the same, just going back home to a wife and kids.” A mom picks up her screaming three year old and carries him away. “Every Friday night we’ll meet up for drinks and talk about the old times, until we have to part ways again.”

“And you’re ok living like that?”

He raises a brow. “I mean yeah, that’s how it is for our parents, why wouldn’t it be the same for us?”

Two old men are sitting at a table nearby, playing chess.

He’s right. For people like us it doesn’t get much better than that.

“So you've never wondered what it all means? What the point of living even is?”

Tristan's brows knit together in confusion. “No, not really. I mean there’s got to be a reason, but for right now I’m not too concerned with finding the answer.”

The chasm between us stretches too far for me to ignore now.

“Ok well that’s enough deep conversation for today,” He stands up stretching his arms over his head. “You coming?”

I nod, crumbling my wrapper in my fist.

“So what do you want to do now?” He asks as we walk towards the swing set.

“I think I’m just gonna go home.” I say.

“Seriously man?!” He wines. “Please don’t tell me you’re going to sleep.”

I nod. Yep, so I can try to forget that today ever happened.

As we walk out of the park we became friends in, I have a feeling that this will be the last time we go here together. At least I hope it is.