Something About Nothing

Part I

Before in the beginning, there was NOTHING. Nothing but a whole lot of absolutely nothing. You couldn’t see NOTHING, because there was nothing to see. You couldn’t hear NOTHING, because there was nothing to hear. You couldn’t touch NOTHING because there was nothing to touch.

One fine time out of nowhere, SOMETHING found time to come along ----zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom. SOMETHING came along, looked here, looked there, looked everywhere and said, “I don’t see NOTHING, can’t hear nothing, there’s nothing here but a whole lot of nothing.”

NOTHING didn’t say anything, NOTHING just listened to SOMETHING go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on, talking about a whole lot of nothing.

Then NOTHING got tired and said, “Hold it SOMETHING.”

SOMETHING said, “Who’s that?”

“It’s me, NOTHING, so you have nothing to fear in this atmosphere, I would just like to make it perfectly clear in your ear that I am also here.”

SOMETHING was kind of scared. He couldn’t see NOTHING.

Then NOTHING said, “Let me tell you something, SOMETHING, even though I’m Nothing, I am still something. In fact I’m the something that has you surrounded, I’m the something that is holding you up.”

SOMETHING said, “Holding me up?”

SOMETHING thought it was a stick-up and swung at NOTHING. Didn’t hit NOTHING because there was nothing to hit. SOMETHING swung at NOTHING, again. He swung again, missed, fell down, but didn’t fall on NOTHING. So the scuffle went on and on in the dark, SOMETHING swinging at NOTHING, SOMETHING swinging at NOTHING in triple darkness. And it went on and on and on until the darkness started to go away.

Part II

About six- thirty in the morning NOTHING’S daughter, Dawn was looking at her mirror in the dark, SOMETHING snuck up on NOTHING, missed and hit NOTHING’S daughter Dawn. She dropped the mirror. The mirror cracked. That is where the crack of dawn came from.

Part III

NOTHING also had two sons. One named Rise and one named Set. You could tell them apart because Set was always sitting down and Rise was always standing up next to Dawn.

Dawn went over to Set and said, “Get up, Set, do something about SOMETHING. Us families are supposed to stick together.”

Set looked up and said, “Don’t get me upset, Dawn.” Dawn said again a little louder, “Get up, Set.”

“Don’t get me upset, Dawn.”

“Get up, Set.”

“I said, don’t get me upset, Dawn. Don’t get me upset.” “ I said get up Set.”

Finally, Set got up. “Now you made me upset. I saw the whole thing. If you didn’t get in the way of SOMETHING, nothing would have happened. But I have a plan. You and Rise go to the East. I’ll go to the West and tomorrow evening we will meet and put something on SOMETHING from both sides. Now, get Rise, get on your mark and Go.”

Set sat down and watched them go out of sight. “I fooled them,” he said to himself, “I don’t have to go anyplace. All I have to do is sit right here, Set laughed to himself, “I fooled them.”

So Set just sat there and it got darker and darker and darker. Set was scared, he couldn’t see SOMETHING or NOTHING. He just sat there in triple darkness.

Part IV

Then he looked out in the distance and it started getting lighter and lighter and he saw something coming toward him. Oh no! Oh no! It got closer and closer, and closer and closer and it was – Rise and Dawn.

NOTHING’S Son, Set regained his composure, cleared his throat – “uhrum” and said, “Where were you two yesterday?”

Dawn said, “Set, on our way here we decided to forgive and forget. Because in forgiveness there is healing, and we like the feeling, so we are going to be on our merry way.”

Set watched them go out of sight. And he said, “Well, I’m not forgiving and I’m not forgetting. I’m sitting right here in the West and this is where I’ll be sitting from now on. I’ll get even with SOMETHING all by myself.”

And ever since then, NOTHING’S son, Set has been setting in the West.

And that’s the truth about SOMETHING and about NOTHING.

And the moral of this story is: If you are going to do something about something, do it before the sun sets or you will get caught sitting on your ass-ets in the dark.