ANOTHER LETTER

ANOTHER LETTER

Hello…

Logan is out of town today. It is just me, Jason, and the animals.

We could use this time to connect, but we chose to do nothing.

Not having money helps too.

How do we connect?

It’s been almost thirty years, and we still have yet to find even ground. I don’t think. There has been a lot of jumbles in the marriage. Why are we still here? To tell you the truth it’s been stale for a long time. A lot of disagreeing. A lot, of arguments. A lot of things that have been said that neither of us can take back. And a lot of sleeping alone. I got used to it. So did he. We let it slip. And then she went to Arizona. Twice.

Okay.

Today is Saturday. This morning is exercise day. Yoga and interval training.

3:59 AM.

It’s hot.

Good morning. The only, reason that I am up is because I had to go to the bathroom. And then I walked around looking for the animals. Diamond got up when I did and went directly to her chair. Nala was in the living room in Jason’s seat. She looked comfortable. Amy had to walk over to give her some pets too.

So lovable…

Jason is in the shower.

A normal day so far.

Btw…

Her mother would kill her for letting the dog on the chair. On Amy’s behalf, Diamond is not allowed on the furniture without a blanket underneath her.

Diamond knows that too.

She waits.

There is no one at home right now. I could turn the music on.

Then up.

Just let me get lost…

I haven’t been lost in a bit. It’s been busy with the baby shower. Wondering if Justine burned any bridges. She did. But are they re-buildable? Maybe.

Of course they are.

But…

But Amy is finished for a while.

Done.

Smack, smack, smack...

Done with a lot.

If shit is not going to go smoothly, I want no part of it. I want no part of anything, that is bumpy.

Nope.

Back off.

We got a good amount of rain today. I wonder if it is done…

The faucets are not on yet.

Surprise.

Thank you Mother Nature.

Fuck you Water Wheel community.

You know who you are.

An hour of interval training, and an hour of yoga. It was a more gentile, flow type of yoga. That was nice after the first class. The first class kicked Jason’s ass. Once again. She heard him breathing.

ONCE AGAIN.

Don’t get me wrong, this class Is hard. But it was harder on him.

Amy has limitations. She accepts her limitations before she even walks into the class. Example…

She is going to be sure that she can balance both feet, before trying it on, one.

It a beautiful day today. Eighty-eight for a high. 8-8 degree’s.

It’s still warm. But better than it has been. Tomorrow is the muggy day. I don’t know wat today is going to hold. Logan is returning home from Tennessee. Oh. It is 6:37 AM. I put myself to bed last night. I just don’t remember when. But she slept thought the night. She got only up twice, to use the restroom.

And she went back into the bedroom after both, trips.

Good for her.

It’s lunchtime. Is she hungry?

No.

But they went to the diner in Adrian for lunch/breakfast.

Yum.

Oatmeal, toast and coffee. (Not even a whole cup of coffee) She’s been eating less sugar. A lot, less sugar. She’s drinking more water, too. But never enough.

Good morning.

4:11 AM

The trailer smells…

Like Diamond.

Fuck.

It is only going to be 87 degrees today. Not as hot. Not as humid. PERFECT!

I am not going to open the car door. I may not even step off the porch.

Lol.

Maybe later.

Right now, I need to open a door to let the morning air in.

And Diamond air, out.

She went to the Y to check out a class. That she didn’t stay for.

She walked over to the treadmills and walked a walk that she has yet, to walk. Up…

Down.

Up…

Down.

While she was doing that her phone was leaving a message. It was a nice walk. The gym was quiet. Not many people. She stuck on her headphones and looked out for about thirty minutes. The back side of the Y is all nature. Not, one building. Well, the hospital is to the left. She can’t see that unless she looks. She doesn’t look. (Get in and get her done)

Today was another scheduling for a CT for my lungs.

Former, smoker.

This should be the last time. It’s been a few years now.

And this stuff is being done before, I see Sarah.

Good-good.

She has taken wonderful, care of me.

Today is July third. It’s a Thursday so that makes for a long, holiday. Hot. too. Mid-nineties throughout the entire weekend.

What to do, what to do??

The same thing as the last fourth of July.

Yay!

Spend it with Trevor, Justine, and James. We went to the fireworks in Manchester. We go there every year almost. We have been going there since the boys were small. With Rod, Marcia, Courtney and Robby. I remember. We sat in the same spot also. Right there in the Family Dollar parking lot. The absolute best spot for the viewing.

And then we came home to a funky smell. Carpet fresh. Every time I use it I regret it. The smell is nice the, first little while. But it lingers on.

Gross.

It sticks to the vacuum.

Bang-bang.

Crunch…

We-eeroror…

We-eeroror.

The ice maker.

Something she has yet gotten used to. She hears that sound every day, throughout the whole day. It freaks her out every time.

Hummm…

CRACK!!

Today is Friday. July the fourth. A day for everyone to be off of work. A day for Amy to go golfing with the boys. Go riding in the cart with the boys. When this was planned she wanted to go. Not so much anymore. No reason in particular. Right now she just doesn’t want to go. 6:20 AM. Time to open up to let the morning air in, and the carpet air, out. Because tonight we are going to Rod and Marcia’s for a cookout and games. This is after, we go golfing. But before that…

I’m going to shut this down.

And then turn it on again.

Lol.

She can’t make up her mind.

She needs to finish this. She has so much, and not really any place to keep it really. She is beginning to get over-loaded. 0nce again. Fuck. It was more meant to be, said. She wants to do it different this time. Now she has her foot outside, of the door.

She’s close. No, sales. No, observers.

No, looky-loo’s.

That was the way it was meant to be.

This is different, now. She wants to do this one on her own. She has already done the hard part. Plus some. She needs to have this proofread. She thinks. She needs to have this edited.

Other than Word.

She needs to ask for help. If there is such a thing.

Direction: There is fifteen (15) definitions.

I will pick the most suitable.

3) The point or region itself.

Which way do I go?

8)Management, control, guidance. supervision.

How do I get there?

How do I do this?

She’s been asking herself these questions for a long time now.

How does she do this and not hurt anybody?

She doesn’t.

That’s how.

https://pagepublishing.com/books/?book=the-domino-affect

The Domino Affect by M.E. Austin. Roughly 98,000 words. This is the introduction. It is fresh, and it is raw. It is followed up by her second novel, A Domino Effect.

https://pagepublishing.com/books/?book=a-domino-effect-a-second-novel

There is roughly 119,000 words. It is more refined and better seasoned. Full, of growth. Both professionally edited and published.

Page Publishing contact information:

Stacy Tatters

Senior Accounts Manager

Page Publishing

866-315-2708

Now we have chapters 1-87. There is approximately 3,000 words per chapter. Available, but not yet professionally edited.

This is a series of circumstance. Some funny, some sad. Most times, she’s mad. All because of this. This is a story with infinite possibilities. There are more than 400,000 reasons so far, as to why you won’t be able to put these novels down.

I am looking for a leader per say. Someone to help bring me to life. To give me a home. A place to be. A, spot.

Hello.

My name is Amy. Amy Jean Newman-Austin. AKA M.E. Austin.

I am ready!

Are you?

Are you ready to share my story with the world? You need to be, because I am coming in with a vengeance. These are the stories of a time in my life that shows my growth, my reflections, my family, and my determination to follow a plan. Lol. A plan to convey that I am not crazy. This is the story that’s going to prove that. It needs to prove it. Because if I have to stay in this trailer for one more year, who knows what will happen. Amy has lived in Michigan twenty-nine years, and this is the first time, she has ever felt like this. Is this a seasonal thing? Or is she having a, medical issue?

Epiphany.

An unmistakable feeling. A terrifying feeling. A Déjà vu, kind of feeling. All in the matter of a second. She wonders if this is her sign. A spiritual awakening, so to speak. But boy she’ll tell you what, it freaks her out. What is happening??? Because she felt okay this morning, when she had a neck-tug and a Xray. Again.

What is this thing inside of me??

A stroke? Am I going to stroke-out? Am I stroking out?

(This is an issue for Amy).

Amy has issues.

Example…

I thought about it in the beginning. I over thought about it in the beginning. I didn’t do this to hurt anyone. Including myself.

This is not my dirty laundry. This is my life.

Parts a little more soiled than others.

It’s been in my thoughts on how to begin to fix myself. Show a side of myself that I have never shown. Much less ever known.

She can do that now.

Because today she found something new. A piece to her puzzle. One problem. She doesn’t know where to put it. She needs to find a spot because all these pieces are combined into eight plus years.

(Now going on ten)

Or, eleven.

She doesn’t remember.

All she knows, is that she woke up scared at whatever time it was in the morning this morning. She tossed and turned and turned and tossed. Woke up. Fell asleep. And woke up again, and again. Dreaming, the whole time.

Dreaming that this is the piece, to her puzzle.

One problem. She doesn’t know where to put it. She needs to find a spot because all these pieces are combined into eight plus years. Now going on ten.

Or eleven.

She doesn’t remember. She just knows it’s been a lot of years of complete, bullshit. Now Amy has more than 400,000 reasons as to why this is never-ending novel is to be simply put, ready to suffocate her computer.

Seriously…

What does she do with all of this?

Read it?

Listen to it?

Watch it???