A Near Miss

How was it?

What?

The KISSS, you idiot!

We didn’t!

You whaaaat? I though you—

Naah, we both chickened out. You wouldn’t believe it. His mom found us in the dark, sitting side-by-side. We got nervous, scared, awkward, you know? …uncomfortable, like guilty of something.

Oh no! So, what happened?

Nothing, just as I told you. We didn’t kiss. May be next time.

His mom....did she say anything to you?

No, she asked to leave the room. I took my stuff and ran out. Matt also left right away. I think he must have left his mom there, upstairs, in the bedroom.

Oh no! You okay though?

Yeah. I’m okay. My parents looked at me funny when I got home. But no one said a word, so I doubt Matt’s mom called my parents.

Ok, good. Let’s cross fingers they DON’T!

This was the first thing Beth and I exchanged as soon as I got home. She knew that I would be going to Matt’s house after the football game. He was “the guy” that all girls were crazy about.

He played on the school football team, and they had won that Friday night. As they always did, all team members would later celebrate at one of the homes, together with close friends and girlfriends. But Beth, who was my best friend, was not part of that inner circle, so she did not come to the after party.

Matt had invited her, anyway, saying she could come is she wanted to. Beth was not comfortable being around all these people. Besides, she knew they found her “weird.”

After we finished talking, I left my phone on top of my pillow, in case Matt would call me. But an hour later, there were still no news from him. The next day, he texted.

Hi!

Hey!

What’ you doing?

Nothing. Watching a game. You?

Nothing. I thought I would—then I got interrupted by a background sounding like an argument.

Okay. Call you later?

Sure.

I felt I was bothering him while he was enjoying his game. Tempted to speak again, I call him back, several hours later. This time, he does not pick up. I get a text instead, “Sorry can’t talk now. Call you later, maybe?”

I hoped Matt was okay. Something didn’t seem right earlier. For the rest of the weekend, I do not hear from him.  

On Monday, I was nervous to get to school. We were neighbors and took the same bus. We could not avoid seeing each other all the time. However, his stop was a couple blocks down the street from mine—which meant I would get on the bus before him.

When I left my house, I saw Beth, waving at me as she was arriving at the bus stop. I noticed she was unusually walking fast, as if she had some news she could not wait to share.  Of course, it had to be about Matt.

Did you see him? She asked.

I did not want to tell her e had not spoken all weekend because I knew she would have said, “see, I told you!”

To avoid hearing that annoying comment coming from my friend, I simply nodded in a vague way that did not mean a “yes” nor did it mean a “no.”

When the bus finally arrived, we sat on a row with three seats. We occupied two and I guessed she wanted one of them for Matt. Honestly, I was annoyed. It felt it would be awkward. For some reason, I thought “guilty” was written on my forehead.  

As we got closer and closer to Matt’s stop, my heart started to pound as I could see from distance that he was not there.

Beth giggled “Looks like lover boy either overslept or is not here today!”

Again, I was not amused by her humor but kept my cool. Had he already taken off to school? Matt was not a morning person he often chased the bus in the morning. Realizing that the driver would briefly stop, I asked him to wait a minute longer.

“We need to keep going. Or I will run behind schedule,” she said to me.

Where was Matt? Was he sick? Why didn’t he call all weekend? Those were some of the questions I kept asking myself.

As soon as we arrived in school, I decided to look for him first in the gymnasium, his favorite place and then at the cafeteria. I hated going in both: one, because I did not feel I looked fit, and two because all the girls in our grade liked him and looked for an opportunity to talk to him. My heart was racing.  

Hey, have you seen Matt today?

Where is Matt?

Was Matt carpooling with you guys today?

Peeking inside his classroom, Matt was clearly skipping class, at his first one.

“Maybe he overslept and will be here later,” I said to Beth who had a grin on her face. She didn’t like Matt anyway, which didn’t help the situation. She thought he was arrogant. Truth being told also, all the girls in school in our grade liked Matt.

He had a reputation for not keeping his girlfriends for too long. Truth being told he was so handsome and athletic! Dark, curly hair, green eyes, nice cheekbones (as mom would always say) and beautiful smile. What I liked most were his dimples on each side of his face.

Because he got stares for his appearance, he craved the attention. I hated it. Yet, as Beth would after all remind me, I was the one he invited last weekend. But that was not enough.

By noon, I gave up looking for him at school. Instead, I decided to stop by his house after all, on my way home. I wanted to check on him and make sure he was okay.

When I arrived at his doorsteps, at first, I was scared to ring the bell. Then I pushed the tiny button and stood in the middle of door so anyone inside could see who it was from the peephole.

I rang several times until someone came to the door. It was his mom. She opened the door and from the look on her face, she was not thrilled to see me. I excused myself for showing up unannounced. Without asking me to come in, she simply blurted out, “You’re looking for Matt? Well, sorry honey he is not here. He is still in class.”

I was hard to believe I did not see him in school. Without trying to carry a conversation with his mom, I thanked her and asked her to just tell Matt I came to check on him. She nodded and shut the door right in front of me.

A few hours later, my phone buzzed. It was him.

Hey!

Hi, where have you beeeeeeen?

Sorry, I haven’t called. Had a busy day.

Were you in school? Your mom said you were still there. I looked for you al day. That’s; why I stopped by your house.

Wait? You stopped by my house? When? How long ago?

Just after class. Didn’t your mom tell you?

No, she did not mention it.

Weird. Anyways, your mom doesn’t like me much. I bet she thinks I am a bad influence for her son and after—he suddenly cut me off.

After what?

You know…last Friday.

Forget about that! It was an accident. Not meant to happen. Won’t happen again.

I did see that coming. It was fast, cold, and hurtful. I had nothing more to say. Rather than hang up rudely, I kept my cool and waited for what he would say next, or at least realize what he had just said. But no, he did not take it back.

“I need to go now. I might call you later” I said and hang up.

This was not the Matt I knew. I could feel something was off. I wanted to cry but for what? And to whom? After all, I was not his “girlfriend”.

I was angry because I felt I allowed this to happen to me—Beth had warned me already. I was disappointed in him for speaking to me this way.

The next morning, I sat at the back of the bus, not knowing if he would ride the bus with us. I also wanted to make sure I could see everyone, be it coming in or leaving the bus.  When we got to his stop, he was there but he looked different. His shoulders pushed inwards, messy clothes, hair undone. He sat up front, right behind the driver. I kept staring at him, while he stared at the road until we got to school.

When we got to school, he was first to take off. He did not wait for me, nor look for me. I also did the same and carried on to class.

Friday came fast. It was game day. Matt’s team was playing at our high school, which meant that everyone would be there. This time around, I did not want to. I also did not want to run into any of his friends prior to the game in case they asked me if I would go cheer for them. So, after classes, I got in the bus and kept a low profile in the back.

By eight, I knew the game would be over. I wanted to know who won but did not call anyone to find out. As I kept thinking about that, my phone rang. It was him.

Hey!

Hi!

We won.

Oh, congratulations! You must be happy!

Listen…I am not calling to just say we won. I am calling because I want to say I am sorry about what I said to you, the other day. That was uncool. You did not deserve that.

There were loud screams in the background of people celebrating the team’s winning. I did not know what to say. “thank you, that means a lot,” I replied.

You don’t have to say “yes” but it would mean a lot to me if we could restart where we left off. Forget about this week. Let’s rewind to the last game. What do you think?

Again, I was caught off guard. “You mean that?” I say.

Of course, I do.

I laughed, we laughed, we joked. I could hear his friends teasing and calling him to get in the car. We had closure on a bad week.

The following Friday, I went to his game. They won. Again. Rather than going to a celebration party, Matt drove me back home. As a nice gesture, I invited him over. My parents would be happy to hear about his game and also to see him.

They liked him. It is no surprise that once he walked in, they were thrilled to see him. We decided to gather in the basement, our family room. Mom offered to fix a quick dinner for us. I, WE, were hungry. Matt stayed a bit longer.

As the evening hour progressed, we watched a movie on Netflix. My parents had already retired to their bedroom upstairs.

This is when Matt made his move. But it was short lived because my dad showed up unexpectedly downstairs, we did not even hear in coming down the stairs. He said he was looking for his reading glasses.

We quickly separated, our faces turning bright red. We tried to act nonchalant, but it was clear that the moment had been lost.

My mom also came down shortly after. Both my parents exchanged a knowing look before leaving the basement, leaving us in an awkward silence. At that point, we both let out a nervous laugh, realizing how close we were to finally sharing our first kiss.

"I guess we'll have to try again some other time," Matt says, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, definitely," I reply, feeling a mix of disappointment and relief.

We spent the rest of the evening hanging out, but there was a lingering tension between us. We couldn’t help but steal glances at each other, wondering what could have been.

When we go back to school, our friends notice the awkwardness between us. They tease us about our failed attempt at a first kiss, making jokes and trying to pry into our personal lives. It becomes clear that they're jealous of the connection we share.

Despite the teasing, Matt and I remain close friends. We continue to spend time together, but the anticipation of that missed kiss hangs over us.

As time goes on, we both start to realize that our friendship is more important than any romantic feelings we may have had. We support each other through ups and downs, and our bond grows stronger.

Today, we look back on that missed kiss as a funny and memorable moment in our friendship. It's a reminder of how close we came to taking that leap, but ultimately chose to value our friendship above all else.

And while we may have never shared that first kiss, we realize that what we have is something even more special—a lifelong friendship built on trust, understanding, and a shared history of missed opportunities.