The Virginator

Depending on who you are, you could have said Ronald had a decent life. Good job as a senior engineer, making more money than a doctor, climbing up the proverbial career ladder.

A good wife, three kids. Marty, the eldest was 17. Maddy, 15 and Lizzie 2 years old.

Ronald liked to ask himself, 'What if?' when he observed the world - he had heard a long time ago that, that was the way the greatest inventors in world history.

Over the years he had invented a variety of things, among which:

-The Turn-End-Of-The-Bread-Into-Normal-Slice-Inator

-The Anti-Slip-Shoes-Inator

-The Automatic-Browser-History-Deleter-Inator (...that was before the "Incognito Mode" was invented and saved millions of teenage boys from... interesting conversations with mom and dad...)

As you can understand, he wasn't the best at naming things... and liked Phineas And Ferb a lot.

But - as with any story worth reading - not everything was as good as it seemed.

One day when he went back home from work, he parked the car in the driveway. He could already see his two-year-old, Lizzie, there at the window staring at him, hyped up to be able to hug her daddy again.

Hearing the noise generated by the little girl, his wife came by the window and saw him in the car. They locked eyes, but she barely acknowledged him...

Ronald sighed and sat there for longer than normal. Eventually he picked himself up and left the car, opened the front door and saw Lizzie running at him like a zombie in a scary movie, but her feet weren't yet ready to run that fast, she fell face first on the carpet. 

Ronald rushed to pick her up, 'You don't have to run that fast honey...' she lifted her head and smiled, as if the impact she just had with the floor was just some normal occurrence. That baby was made of steel.

'What was that sound?' asked his wife Jenna from the kitchen.

'Nothing honey, Lizzie fell on the ground.'

Ronald walked to the kitchen, with the baby in his arms. Jenna was washing plates. He tried to sneak up from behind, to hug her but was stopped when she said, 'You missed dinner... again.'

'I'm sorry, it's just tha-'

'You have no excuse anymore. Your children are starting to forget what you look like...'

'Yeah, I'm tryin-'

'No. I've had enough of your "I'm trying" or of your "important projects." Are they really more important than your family?'

He stood there, no words. Ronald let the baby down, and she went back to running around and falling.

'I've left you some leftover dinner in the fridge, if you're hungry. I'll go watch TV upstairs.'

Jenna walked out without even looking at him in the eyes.

Ronald wasn't sure how to react. He grabbed the food from the fridge and settled himself on the couch in front of the TV.

He turned the screen on and numbed his sadness with TV Shows he didn't even care about.

Then he heard someone come down the stairs.

'Dad, I thought you had left forever, this time...'

'It's not a joking matter, Marty.'

His son's sense of humor was dark and at times devastating. he continued, 'Don't know what you're up to lately dad but I think you should take it easy,' he walked in front of the TV and saw his dad in the most pathetic state - his mouth dirty with tomato sauce from the leftover lasagna he was chomping down his throat.

'Look, you've got to fix this ASAP.'

Ronald felt too embarrassed to keep eye contact, 'Yeah, I know...'

'Alright then.' Marty just walked off to the kitchen and got himself some popcorn, then walked back up, saying, 'It's going to be a tough Battle royale tournament...'

Ronald acknowledged his son's weird wiseness.

That same night when he entered the bedroom, Jenna was asleep.

he tiptoed, trying to make as little noise as possible. He didn't know she wasn't really asleep - Jenna just couldn't bear seeing the man who once loved, reduced to a deadbeat dad. As cliché as it sounds, they really were separate but together.

The next night, the same thing happened. Jenna glanced at the time as she pulled a cake from the oven.

She prayed that day would be the one in which Ronald would redeem itself, maybe come back with a huge bouquet of flowers, or he would play a boom box from the front yard in the middle of the night to demonstrate how much he loved her.

They waited for him to come as the diner table was packed with food. Maddy complained, 'Mom, I don't think he's coming today either...'

She rejected, 'Just wait for a bit, he's going to come in time today.'

'Nah, he's not and you know it.' said Marty. Maddy slapped his shoulder, 'Shh...'

He responded, 'But it's the truth...'

‘Yeah, but it doesn't mean she wants to hear it...!'

'It's enough!' yelled Jenna, 'Start eating, don't worry about it...'

She said that with her eyes on the door, counting down seconds in her head.

Ronald was still at work, but he wasn't working on anything for the company.

He stood in the workshop alone with the lights dimly lit on him, so much, so he could barely see what he had been working on for months on end, what he had missed out on his wife and kids for, what was going to make Jenna love him like she used to.

There were just few tweaks to make it was done. he left it there as he went to get two lab rat cages.

He had hid them in the cleaner's storage room, so no one would find out he was working on this.

They believed him to be working that hard on some of their projects.

He dropped the lab rats on the desk. The cage had a male and a female in it.

Then he grabbed his latest invention and use it on the female rat.

Then he waited. 

Nothing happened for a long time. He looked at the time, it was dinner time, he should have been with his kids, but he felt it in his guts, this was the right thing to do - at last, his insane obsession was at the last phase, the experimentation.

Then he saw the female rats walk closer to the male rats.

The next scene was not for the weak hearted, matter of fact it would have been revolting to most people but it made Ronald smile, even laugh.

The female rats approached the males and they started mating. Both couples. 

Ronald jumped up and down jovially, danced weird dances and made weird sounds. He was ecstatic.

When he had calmed down he stood there amazed. He took a step back and, like Frankenstein, he observed his creation with delight - cue in heavy rain, thunders and dreary nights in November.

It looked like an oval shaped gun, gray and bland. 

There was a trigger that, if pressed, would shoot a tiny, almost microscopic syringe laced with concentrated oxytocin. 

Ronald had read and studied that female bodies, after losing their virginity, release a substance called oxytocin which makes them fell affection towards the man they recently had sex with. It’s called the Love Hormone for that reason.

He had found and bought oxytocin in liquid form and created a concentrated solution.

In less “science-y” terms, he made a love potion and stuffed it in a gun.

As with all his creation, it needed a name. (You guessed it…) The Virginator.

He gently inserted the in device in a bag. Hid the rats back in the cleaner’s storage - where they could have more fun in private…

Then he picked up his phone for the first time in hours. There was message from Jenna “I WANT DIVORCE”

As crushing as the news was Ronald didn’t despair. The drive back home was one filled with happy radio music and a lot of fantasizing

He almost forgot to lock the car’s door when he stormed out of it. It even crossed his mind to just kick the door down and shoot hiss wife like a badass. But a house with no door was a magnet for house robbers - he was excited, not crazy.

The key worked, the door burst open, the biggest entrance ever done by a deadbeat husband, ‘Honey I’m back!’

Marty was the only one there, he had earphones on and was playing video games.

The boy realized his father just walked in and took off the headphones, ‘If you’ve got a mistress or something, hope she loves you enough to move in because mom’s dumping your ass…’

Ronald was taken aback, ‘Did she already tell you…?’

‘No, she’s upstairs putting clothes in a travel bag.’

‘What?!’ Ronald rushed upstairs.

He heard a door get slammed hard. ‘I can fix this Jenna, just one last chance.’

‘I’ve given you too many last chances Ron!’ she yelled from the room. All the emotions the woman had bottled up escaped at once. She cursed him out so much, you could have written a “Vulgar Language Dictionary” from just the first 10 minutes of it.

Their daughter woke up in her room, crying as loud as her mom shouted.

Meanwhile, Ronald knocked the door, almost taking it down with punches. It was locked from the inside.

He stopped only when he heard the key being inserted and turned, Jenna bashed the door with an enormous travelling bag. The door swung, hitting Ronald's face, he fell with his ass on the ground, the bag containing the Virginator fell from his hands.

Jenna still couldn't look at him. She jumped over him and headed for the stairs.

He reached for the bag. In a flurry, he opened it, grabbed the gun-like tool and pulled it out. Ronald aimed for the neck, but his first shot missed. Jenna was already downstairs when he shot a second time. Bullseye!

The tiny needle went inside her, Jenna touched her neck like you do with a mosquito bite. The deed was done yet she stormed out.

Ronald assumed, he had to wait for the effects to show up like he did for rats. He went back in their bedroom, where things looked like a mess. In a burst of anger, Jenna had thrown all his clothes out of the wardrobe, and they covered the floor with them.

From the window he watched as Jenna got inside her car but didn't start it. She looked like she was in a daze, not moving at all. Ronald got concerned.

he was about to go down and check on her when she looked up at the window from the car. They locked eyes, she smiled and waved at him like back then when they had just met.

Ronald feared Jenna had broken her car's door by the vigor with which she opened it. Still, with her eyes locked on him, she ran to the door and opened it with her keys. She even forgot to shut the front door.

Jenna was not the athletic type, but she was jumping three stairs at the time to get to the room faster. Ronald waited.

As soon as she saw him, Jenna did a Micheal Jordan style jump from the entrance of the room to him near the window - Ronald low-key wondered if flying was part of the side effects...

He caught her midair, she didn't wait a second before tearing away his work shirt. Jenna had gone feral, kissing him like never before.

Ronald tried to say, 'We... should... close... the door...' but she didn't seem to care. He had to tilt her towards the door and walk there with her in his arms, push her back against the door, forcing it closed.

Now, I'll spare you the details on what happened after that, just picture rats...

While playing video games, Marty saw the TV vibrating, like there was an earthquake. He took off the headphones and heard loud knocks on the sealing, like someone was stomping on the bedroom floor. 

He noticed the front door was open and closed it.

For Ronald, the next morning was amazing - picture heaven, make it ten times better, add sweat and dirty bedsheets.

He smiled as he felt Jenna's head laid on his arm. He gently took it off not to wake her up but failed at that. She woke up and smiled. Without opening her eyes, she spoke, it was almost a whisper, 'I love you.'

Ronald kissed her forehead, 'I love you too.' A tear fell down his cheek and almost on Jenna, but he stopped it with his palm.

She slowly fell back asleep.

When Ronald went downstairs, Marty was still there playing his video games. 'Don't you even sleep? And aren't going to school in few hours?'

His son turned around and shushed him. Marty pointed next to him. Maddy slept on 

his shoulder and he had just waked her up.

'Why are you here Maddy? Are you having nightmares again?'

She would have liked to say, 'Yes two nightmares: you and mom...' but Marty said that for her.

Maddy slapped his shoulder, 'He's your father...'

'So what?!' he continued playing his game.

Ronald went to work right after.

While walking to the workshop, he bumped into the cleaner.

He was this old man with a southern accent and a mustache, 'I 'on't know what you doing with them rats but you should give 'em a look.'

Ronald, rushed to the storage room, and closed the door behind him so no one could see.

In the corner were his two cages.

In the cage, the female rat laid with her belly facing down, not moving. Ronald got close, moved the cage around to see whether she moved or not.

He shook the cage hard to make her turn upside down while the male rat held on to what he could.

Ronald made it, the female rat was belly up now. That was all but good news.

The place where her heart should have been empty, a hole in there and her skin extended outwards. Blood still dripping from the fatal injury. The poor creature’s heart had blown up.

SHE had finally left her cage.