The Last Dance

Someone told me a long time ago that you don’t live life that life lives you and you are the dancer of your own life. Some people dance fast, some slow, some not at all and some come to the dance late. I have always come to the dance late, the dance of life and all the dances in between. I was even born late so my mama told me. That was the first dance I was late to. And there were many, many, many more. 

It was 1979 and I was a freshman in high school. I had no idea what high school would be like and wasn’t sure if I was even going to like it at all. Of course, I was late for the placement test that I had to take for this particular school. The nun giving the test scolded me for being just five minutes late. I nervously took the test sitting beside my best friend in elementary school. She knew that was going to be late from experience and thoughtfully saved me a seat next to her. The nun eyed us both as I sat down and we gave each other a knowing smile. 

That was the same year I went to my first and second to the last High School dance. My best friend’s dad dropped us off that night at the school gym where the dance was taking place. We decided to dress casual. I had on my blue jeans and a tee shirt which my mom said was too tight but let me wear it anyway. My friend also had on blue jeans and a not as tight as mine yellow tee shirt. We both pulled our hair up in buns on the top of our heads thinking it made us look more sophisticated and older.  We walked slowly into the gym to the musical stylings of  the Bee Gees singing “Shadow Dancing.”  I looked around the packed gym only to see a few people actually dancing on the dance floor. The rest were standing around in groups of three or four people talking and drinking punch. My friend, Nora and I turned to look at each other and walked towards a group of girls we knew from school. 

“Nobody’s really dancing.” I said to the group.

“I guess everyone is nervous.” My friend Louise said as she sipped some punch from her red solo cup. 

“Hey, I have an idea. Why don’t you and Ella dance together.” My other friend , Trish suggested.

Nora and I looked at each other and shook our heads. 

“We did not come to dance together. We came to dance with boys.” I said scanning the room for some cute boy to dance with. 

I stood there with the rest of the girls and one by one the boys from the other side of the room came over and asked each of them to dance until I was the only one left standing. I figured that I might as well walk over to the punch bowl and get a cup to hold in my hand so I would not look so ridiculous standing by myself.  I looked up from my drink and there he was. The tallest and cutest boy in the room with the biggest afro was standing in front of me. He extended his hand and I put down my cup and took his huge hand in mine and together we walked across the dance floor. 

“My name is Harrison. What’s your’s?” He whispered in my ear while we were slow dancing to the song, “Natural High” by the Commodores. I  slowly looked up to match his gaze in my eyes and I said nervously, “My name is Ella.” 

Our bodies moved to the music and at that moment my fourteen year old self thought that life could not get any better than this. We danced for a few more songs until the song, “Last Dance” by Donna Summer started to play and we all knew that met the dance was coming to an end. The night ended but we didn’t end for the next four years.

By 2000 Harrison was standing in the church waiting for his bride. The bride was not me. I was just ending an engagement to whom I thought was going to be my husband for life, Jennings Conner, a self made business man. Jennings was everything I thought I wanted in a spouse and he didn’t even care about my habit of being late all the time. But, Jennings and I decided that we were better off being just friends in the end and now I was reading a social media post about Harrison. Harrison from the 70’s and Harrison whom I had spent four years in high school with. 

“Harrison Morehouse and Janet Ann Morgan will be getting married on June 5th at Port Charles Church at 5 pm and a reception will follow the ceremony.” The short post read. I was speechless. I thought that I was going to marry this man but life had other ideas. We grew apart after we graduated from high school.  Our long distance relationship didn’t work. I was at college on one side of the country and he was on the other side. We broke up six months later and neither of us ever looked back. Years passed and we moved on to careers and different people. But none of those different people had measured up to Harrison in my mind. 

I decided to go to the wedding. The church was packed with well wishers, and relatives. The music was playing and I sat in the back row of the very last pew. Harrison looked so handsome standing there in his tux waiting for his future wife. He didn’t have to wait long. The  older woman who was sitting at the piano started playing the traditional music that many brides  over decades have walked down the aisle to meet their future husbands. Janet looked beautiful in her long flowing white dress which sparkled in all the right places. I imagined myself walking down that aisle and took a breath and told myself to stay in the moment. I took another breath as Janet walked past me smiling at Harrison at the altar. 

I slowly left my pew and walked outside. I could not watch the man I had loved since high school get married to someone else. I thought that I could but my heart beating told me otherwise. I went to the coffee shop a few doors down from the church and ordered a strong cup of hot coffee. I closed my eyes and imagined my own wedding. The wedding I had dreamed about since I was sixteen years old.  I took another deep breath and opened my eyes.

“Mind if I join you?” A voice asked standing near my table.

I looked up slowly and there was Harrison standing there in all his glory and his wedding tux. I was just as speechless as I was standing in that gym all those years ago when we were 14 and 16 years old. I pursed my lips to say something but my mind could not think of what to say so I just sat there. My eyes wide open.

“Are you going to just let me stand here forever?” Harrison continued.

“No, have a seat. But, I thought that you would be married by now.” I managed to stammer.

“Well, it’s a long story but I saw you at the back of the church. You were late as usual.” Harrison laughed.

“Harrison, I was..I was not even invited so how could I have been late?” I asked, trying to make sense of what he just said.

“El, you were late getting to my wedding but right on time also.” 

“Harrison, I don’t know what you mean.” I was not totally confused.

“Well, I have always loved you and in that moment, that very moment I saw you come in the church and sit down in the back row just as late as ever I knew that in my heart that you were the woman I wanted to marry. And so here I am.” Harrison explained.

“I guess this one time I was right on time to finish this dance of my life and that is better late than never.”   I laughed as I gazed at Harrison and sipped my coffee.