That summer when wishes came true

I woke up with multiple sneezes and I realized it was a chilly morning. The Sheet of cloth that I had been using as a blanket did not serve its purpose of keeping me warm now that summer was slipping away. It was the first week of September and as every year it was the beginning of the dawn of summer, my favourite time of the year will now come to an end. Summer was my dream, a living dream where I could show as much skin as I want, wear bright colours, watch the long day end late with an exquisite sunset, chilly summer breeze blowing over sweaty face, cold showers and drops of water hitting my body, washing away all the darkness and anxiety. I absolutely loved summer and every year I had a hard time letting it go.

 I slowly stretched my hand to find my phone beside the pillow, peeked with one eye to read a message from a friend who was long lost in the whirlwind of life. Before I could wonder why she decided to text after so long, I smiled at the memory that stared me back from my phone. It was the picture of me with my girls sharing or rather fighting for the last remains of ice cream on the balcony of our college. We were all so happily high on life, drunk on youth, and deeply consumed by friendship. In a flick of time, I went sliding right down into memory lane where life seemed like a fairy tale.

It was the summer when I had just begun high school and was desperately hoping to find just one good friend. Instead, I hit the jackpot and ended up with three weirdos to complete a girl gang, the exact thing, I knew was missing in my life. The summer was all about laughs, tight dresses, early morning makeup, movie nights, cute guys, and coffee dates. The most alluring thing about high school in Nepal is that we get to choose if we study during the mornings or day and unlike school, studying meant only for a couple of hours rather than a whole day. The school was basically a prison with books for us with strict timetables, curfew hours, and constant monitoring from either school or parents. We found a new sense of freedom, a feeling of being an adult, the thrill of being a teenage girl, and most of all a life without borders and boundaries. Freedom brings insanity, and outrageous desires so I tried everything from skipping classes, shop lifting to lighting up my first cigarette and yet always had the fear of missing out. And during those days we did not know where to draw the line or when.

I couldn’t bear holidays, Saturdays made me nauseous while on weekdays, I would wake up immensely happy knowing I would be entertained throughout the day. We became a girl group of crazy teenagers who were unpredictable and wild and were soon the talk of the campus. A normal day of our lives would be followed by flirty tease, historical laughter, shameless judging, and window shopping but after the better half of the day was over, the other half seemed tedious. Back in my school days, I used to admire the popular girls and even was jealous when they turned down proposals from multiple boys, while I stayed unnoticed till the very end. High school became my new space, a space where I could reinvent myself, paint my dark dreams red, sing my own tunes, and narrate my story. And during those monotonous second halves, I invariably desired for a boy. I was in love with the idea of love and besides all kinds of love, I craved one-of-a-kind love, and love in that age meant a boyfriend. I often wondered if I would be single for one more summer or if I might lock eyes with someone and will never be the same.

While I was looking for a new high in my life, the heat was reaching new heights, I couldn’t go 5 minutes without wiping sweat off my face and I almost wished the summer was over, almost. On a blistering summer morning, I caught my friend Juna munching samosas slower than a government employee on a working day. She was munching alright but her gaze remained anchored to a beautiful guy across the hall. The guy perfectly justified Juna’s gaze, he stood among the crowd like a white lily in a cabbage field. It was clear that Juna wanted to meet his gaze but the guy was clueless, and we were getting restless. While me and Bina were plotting on how to set up their meet, our eyes glued to the guy, and suddenly my jaw dropped so hard I swear it hit the ground when I saw Lalita tapping on the guy’s shoulder and suddenly Juna wished she was invisible. Lalita was very good at picking up conversations, no wonder in a matter of seconds both of them were laughing. The guy joined Lalita as they headed back to us. While he stood up to leave, my sight stumbled across the hall when a guy was a little too loud and much more pissed about some football game. I didn’t exactly know why but for a moment froze, I couldn’t see anyone but him. He was charming, I could tell, his laugh was sexy but the way his eyes sparkled when he shifted his sweaty damp hair, I could no longer breathe. I was jolted back to reality as Lalita started the introduction round. I managed to mutter a half-hearted HI while the rest of the girls greeted him with all kinds of flirty hello. Juna wasted no time in handing over her phone number to Joshan, while Joshan left with a proud grin on his face. I was neither attentive nor present with what was going on around me anymore. I just wanted to stare, stare at him, he was still babbling but I wasn’t sure what. All I could hear was the sound of my own heart thumping, amidst an astonishing tinkle in my stomach. I must have stared too long because he turned towards me and smiled. Instantly I smiled back with an involuntary wave and regretted it right away but I jumped in excitement as he waved back.

They do say there is a first time for everything, I never had a silly grin stuck with me all day, never. I replayed, paused, rewind, fast-forwarded those couple of seconds millions of times, and yet the feeling lingered like the smell of fresh soil after rain. For a week, we had a new mission, there was nothing quite adventurous for a bunch of teenage girls than to monitor a crush. So, we followed him like waves follows the sea. I couldn’t help but stare at him shamelessly, maybe it was infatuation, obsession, or a silly crush but it definitely felt like love, at least for the time being. I was very discrete not to approach him in any way, but my friends wasted no time in throwing my discretion out of the window. I loved watching him laugh, the way he celebrated little things with fist bumps, the way he left the last bite of his food and last sip of his tea, and the stolen glances from the corner of his eye that perhaps was meant for me.

Meanwhile Juna was in her honeymoon phase, she would find Joshan on the balcony at the end of every class. Joshan even joined us during our tea chats, where he wrapped his arm around Juna, Juna would blush and lean on him only to make him hold tighter. Watching them fall in love, I wondered how would it feel to be in love, would it be magical like they portray in movies or would it be nowhere near the hype. Either way, I wanted to be in love, but what I did not want was to be a fool in love. Every time I gathered all my courage to ask his number or anything, my feet would give up and I forgot how to walk.

My friends decided to pull me out of my misery and on a regular Wednesday, they shoved me inside a store where I met him eye to eye while he was buying books, and I on the other hand forgot why I was there. With a pleasant voice, he asked me if we had met before because I seemed familiar. He had something soothing in his voice, which made me calmer, and I replied MAYBE, although I wanted to say of course I seem familiar, I am the face that you catch a glimpse of every day because I always manage to be near you. He scanned me from head to toe and asked which class I was in. Before I could answer he passed me his phone and requested to add my name and number on his phone. I gathered he must be nervous too because his phone was slippery since his palm was sweaty and seemed to be in a hurry. I was both shy and extremely happy to realize I had forgotten to ask his name. As if he could read my thoughts, he turned back and yelled in case you are wondering, my name is Nikesh. I swear I would have passed out if it were not for my friends hugging me from all directions and I wondered how I managed to get everything I ever wanted.