Forgotten Yet Remembered

Not everybody's your friend. And now I realize that.

It hurt my heart. All the texts, all the messages.

I didn't even bother opening them. I knew what they would all say.

"Why did you say that?" "Why would you do that?" "You're so selfish." "You only care about yourself." "She was the nicest person to you and you still did that." "And people wonder why I don't like you."

How could they hate me that much? What did I ever do to them?

They don't even know me but they're attacking me like this.

I hurt someone's feelings and she went around and told everyone. Now everybody hates me. Even my best friend.

He texted me that I should have thought before I sent those texts and that she was so nice to me all the time but I still did that.

And I didn't even send those texts on purpose!

And the day that it happened, he acted so distant, and I didn't even realize that until he came up to me when I was grabbing something from my locker and pushed me into the lockers.

"What the heck!" I yell. "David!"

"You're the one i'm supposed to say that to. Stupid."

I laughed. "You're stupid." But as I turn around I don't hear him laugh.

"That's not even funny. You hurt her so bad. I didn't even believe her at first but, it's true isn't it? My 'best friend' who I thought was the nicest person i've ever met. Wow. I actually can't believe you."

My eyes are wide and i'm on the verge of tears. "David, you don't get it. I didn't mean to say it."

"Didn't mean to say it? Ok ok yeah. If you didn't mean to say it, then why are you about to cry like a guilty child? So dramatic." He turns around and leaves.

I wanted to apologize but nobody gave me a chance to explain myself.

Her name was Macie. And she was my best friend.

Notice how I said, 'was'?

I was texting her and I saw a boy and a girl sitting together and talking. And they looked so happy, it made me happy.

And since Macie was the person I was texting at that moment, she was the first person I expressed my happiness to.

Turns out that was a very bad idea, because that boy was the boy she loved most out of all the boys at our school.

And as I was writing those texts, I forgot about that and I kept writing and writing and sending and sending, and my fingers kept pushing the letters forming sentences like, 'They're so cute together.' 'He stares at her all the time.' 'He looks so in love."

I even sent her a picture of them both.

How stupid.

She sends me a picture too though!

A picture of her crying.

She ignored me for the rest of the day at school.

And everyone else did too.

My supposed "friends" stopped talking to me, and at lunch they didn't sit by me.

And then those texts started coming.

And I didn't know what to say. I just left them on seen or didn't open them at all.

And as I kept getting more and more texts, more and more tears piled up in my eyes. So I text Macie.

-Why's everyone texting me and saying i'm selfish and stupid?

No answer. How surprising.

2 and a half hours later, she texts back.

-Alix. (my name)

-Can you tell me the truth please?

-Did you really forget?

Me.

-Yes, Macie. I promise, I really did forget.

-I would never try to hurt you like that.

-I don't know how I forgot.

Macie.

-I understand if you forgot. I believed you at first.

-But after you forgot, you said 'they're still cute though' and sent a picture of them.

You see what she thought? She thought I purposely tried to make her sad.

Guess what. I didn't.

-Macie the picture sent before that. It took long to send because of the internet at school.

Macie.

-Okay but the 'they're still cute though' why did you say that after you said you're sorry? Alix please be honest with me.

And for 30 minutes I tried explaining to her how stupid I was and how I love her so much and how bad I feel.

I wrote a whole paragraph.

And during that all my friend group texts me asking me to explain and I did and they said they can't forgive me until Macie forgives first.

And then Macie texts me 3 words that made my tears stop falling.

Well they kept falling but now they were happy tears.

The three words. 'I forgive you.'

She told me she explained to everyone and nobody hates me now.

I was so happy.

When I went back to school on monday though, the whole scene was different.

When I walked into class, instead of 'Hey Alix.' and a bunch more greetings, nobody says anything to me and continues talking in their conversations.

Only one person of my friend group truly forgave me.

Kadence. She hugged me and we didn't talk about it, she just forgave me.

But I still don't sit with my old friend group at lunch, and none of us talk anymore.

I have a new friend group, and my old friend group occasionally smiles at me or says a brisk hello.

But I guess that's for the best.

Because now I realize that true friends wouldn't walk by and smile when they see you on the side of the road. And my 'friends' did just that.

And I just gotta remember that life is full of fake friends, but before you judge them, you gotta make sure you're not one of them.

Because a fake friend loves to see that you are doing well, but never better than they are.

Sad, right?

You don't lose friends, because real friends, never get lost. You lose people pretending to be friends.

Not everybody's your friend.

Some people are real. Some people are good.

And some people are real good at being fake.