WHO'S THE KILLER?

Submitted into Contest #37 in response to: Write a story that takes place in the woods.... view prompt

23 comments

Mystery

“Si entras, moriras” A sign that will change the happy trip into an unexpected and thrilling moment. In this case, show how a true friend’s response to each other. Will they help, or will they run? Will they die, or will they kill? 

Hahahahahah!!!!! A happy trip will come because vacation time is travel time, a time to bond with friends on having a camp. Hi, my name is Aki, and I am having a trip with my friends. We’ve selected this mountain because it is very unrecognized and it’s beautiful. I once came here and have such a good experience maybe because that was my first time and I know that it much fun this season because I’m travelling not alone but with my true friends. We’re now at the entrance to the mountain and waiting for the others so we can climb up and by the way, I’m with John, he’s my childhood friend. After an hour ago, here they are, Aria, Ash and Jasmine and by the way, Ash is a boy, Ashton. Okay, guys, let’s go, I told them and now we’re starting to climb up on the mountain. Look guys, there is a sign. “Si entras, moriras” John read it to us and Ash answered, maybe Its mean Have Fun, Hahahahahah, he laughs. Let’s just go because it’s getting darker. Jasmine told us so we continued on walking until we get on the middle of the mountain and there we’re we built our tent. The sun goes down and the moon risen up. All you can hear is voice of being happy. We’ve set the bonfire, it’s a forest you cannot see any houses so we stay there. We’ve built a bonfire and grill some marshmallow and just like other camp, we play a game and it calls, Truth or Dare, and we had such a good game and we had fun. After the game, we go to our own tent and go to sleep, in the morning, when we woke up, we saw a dead body of a deer, we’ve frightened so we go up and finally to the summit of the mountain. We are really happy and decided to sleep there. This night will change the happy moments they have into a terrible night. Guys, lets play another game. This game is made by myself and there are only two rules, said by John. What is the name of the game? I asked him. He said, 495, and I got goosebumps after hearing those number, or is that word. The mechanics are first, we spoke different words start with the letter that ends the last person has told, for example is apple, it ends with the letter e so the words that validate is ear. Do you get? Yes, we are. We told to John and I ask for the punishment for the one who lose and he answered me. The one who lose will get 10 dollars, joke, will drink a glass of wine, so guys, lets do it. Yeah, let’s do this. Game starts, Aki you first, thing only, Knife I said, earring, John answered, glass, Ash answered, Saucer, jasmine answered, ruler, Aria answered and back again to me, I’ve loosened up, I don’t know anything and I saw something on the back of Ash, so I yell and close my eyes and when I open it, it gone. They looking at me asking if I’m okay and I reply them that I need some air so I out of the and go to the side of the forest where they cannot see me and Ash followed me and I think I’m collapse after seeing someone looking at me and I woke up on the day here in this tent. I’m looking for them so I came out on the tent and I only saw Aria, sitting on the big stone taking a hot coffee. Hey, Aria, where are the others? I asked her and that suddenly changed her mood. Do you see Ash on that night? she asked me but I reply on her that I don’t see him, I saw someone and then I collapse and saw myself napping on the tent. Why, is something happening to him? He’s missing, so John and Jasmine is looking for him and they ask me to stay here with you. We must go, lets go. I saw again that woman and suddenly collapses again. I woke up again getting waken up by John. Hey, what happened to you? Where is Aria? he asked me. I’ve don’t know, I saw a woman, and then I don’t know what happened, that’s the only thing I remembered, I’m sorry but did you find Ash? No, we’re not. Jasmine answered me. So, let’s go. We’ve got together to find Aria and Ash but we cannot find them until an evening came. Let’s just go back to tent and look tomorrow, Jasmine told us. Yes, we can call for help in tomorrow. While we are going on the tent, I saw that woman again so I told them but they cannot see it and my sight got blurred and I can’t see anything but I can hear a voice. You kill them, you kill them. Ahh, stop, stop. Aki, what’s happening to you. Aki, Aki. My mood got changed as well as my attitude. You’re going to call a police tomorrow, let’s see if you can see the sunset tomorrow, you’ll die. I pushed them away, kill them, hid them in a cave but I got my senses right away and found myself the killer. I am the killer. when I’m walking down the mountain and the police got arrived because when you go in that mountain, you become a killer because an evil spirit will come to you and I got imprisoned and go to jail, but I know that its not me, it’s someone hiding on the forest. There is a sign, “Si entras, moriras” that if you enter, you’ll die so be cautious and look on everything because there is still an indescribable thing happen on this earth so if you encounter will you run on them, or you’ll going to fight with them but don’t forget, there will be our god that will guide and help us from the terrible things. 

April 15, 2020 02:18

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23 comments

Adrie Byman
16:11 Apr 20, 2020

It's very creative and interesting but again, punctuation, grammar, paragraphs.... ;) Great job!

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Norlie Rabino
21:23 Apr 20, 2020

Thank u. Okay, ill keep that tip.😊

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Ndekwoh Ojen
11:41 Apr 20, 2020

Good story but I think you should really have edited it to cut down on the numerous grammatical and/or typographical errors. Keep writing and stay safe.👍

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Norlie Rabino
11:53 Apr 20, 2020

Yes, i'll keep that. Thank you😊 for your time.😊

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Anvita Bhogadi
06:53 Apr 20, 2020

Work on your grammar and punctuation. You are Very creative keep it up

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Norlie Rabino
07:44 Apr 20, 2020

Hi, thanks for your tip and compliment. I hope you like it.😊

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Tina Laing
00:59 Apr 19, 2020

A very nice story.

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Norlie Rabino
01:48 Apr 19, 2020

Thanks you like it😊😊

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Norlie Rabino
23:04 Apr 17, 2020

THIS STORY IS ALL ABOUT A GROUP OF FRIENDS WHO ACCIDENTALY ENTERED THE MYSTERIOUS FOREST, WHERE THEY ENCOUNTER THEIR END.

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Rhondalise Mitza
03:44 Apr 18, 2020

YEAH, THAT'S PRETTY NEAT BUT PAL, YOU NEED PARAGRAPHS. YOU LIKE ALL CAPS, YEAH? I like the story. :) Just break it up so it's not like a pound of concrete. Have fun and keep writing and stay safe!

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Norlie Rabino
05:31 Apr 18, 2020

Thanks for compliment and also for a tip. Yes. You too. Keep writing and stay safe😊

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Lucy Gregg
23:41 Jun 14, 2020

lol

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Lucy Gregg
23:41 Jun 14, 2020

Wow This Story Is Awesome. I would make some paragraphs so it´s easier to read. Great Job:D

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Samadhee Ismail
13:34 Apr 21, 2020

Wow, well written and good story. Keep up the good work!

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Norlie Rabino
21:09 Apr 21, 2020

Thank u😊

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08:23 Apr 21, 2020

Great use of creativity and imagination. Keep up the good work!

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Norlie Rabino
21:08 Apr 21, 2020

Thank u😊

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Luke Stinnett
19:44 Apr 20, 2020

Great plot line. But like all the others before me, grammar, punctuation, and paragraphs. I loved most of it, but it was kind of hard to understand at some times. Amazing in all other ways!👍🏻😃

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Norlie Rabino
21:26 Apr 20, 2020

Thanks for compliment and for ur precious tip. Thank u😊

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Luke Stinnett
13:58 Apr 23, 2020

Your welcome! Make sure to never give up. If you make a mistake, try, try again. Keep writing, and have fun!

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Norlie Rabino
01:41 Apr 27, 2020

Yeah sure.

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Riddhi Shedge
18:42 Apr 22, 2020

Loving your creativity! Also, I love how you come up with such unique names (like Aki)! :)

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Norlie Rabino
01:40 Apr 27, 2020

Really. Thank u😊

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