Comfort

   "Zane, I love you." 

    He didn't think much of the words, although later he'd figure them as a goodbye letter. 

     "I love you too." Zane told his wife. 

     She had been battling cancer for a while now. She buried her head in his chest, and he wrapped an arm around her and closed his eyes, falling asleep in a few minutes, unaware that his wife would not be waking up. A few hours later, he got up to go to the bathroom, and on his way back, he tripped over a chair, causing it to come crashing to the floor.

       "Oops sorry babe." He said and picked up the chair. 

       No response came, in fact the beeping of the heart monitor wasn't even there anymore.

       "Babe?" Zane asked. 

      Still no response. He turned on the light for reasons he didn't know. 

      "Babe?" He asked again, his heart hammering out of his chest as he realized the steady beeping of the machine he had grown accustomed to wasn't there. 

      "Jade?" He asked. "Jade? Honey, it's time to get up." 

      He shook her shoulder. When the action caused no response, tears came to his eyes. 

     "Jade. Come on. Get up." He ordered his all to still wife. "This isn't funny." 

     This wasn't the first time someone had pranked him and made him think they were dead. That had to be what was happening now. 

     "Come on. Get up. Get up! I can't lose you." 

       Tears rolled down the man's cheeks, tears that seemed to know and accepted the truth that she was dead. 

       "Please Jade." He said. 

       After a few seconds and with shaky hands, he grabbed her wrist. He had never been one to flip when he could do something, so even as he checked her pulse, he knew there was nothing he could do. After finding no pulse and no breath in her lungs, was when he started to cry. He fell to his knees and sobbed, for he didn't know how long. 

    After a while, there was a knock on the door and it opened to reveal his 13 year old son. 

     "Dad? Mom? Daddy?" He said, then started crying, needing no more confirmation that his mom was dead than to see his dad crying. 

     Zane's face turned red, embarrassed that his son saw him like this, but he couldn't seem to stop the tears. 

      "Come here." He cried, and Hunter ran into his arms. 

       All Zane could do was sit on the floor, crying, holding his son, and hoping none of his other children got up. Zane never liked crying in front of anyone, nonetheless his children. Tears poured down his cheeks and he buried his face in his son's brown hair. 

      After they both managed to stop crying, Zane told his son to go wake his siblings and meet him in the living room. Then Zane turned off the light and slipped out of the room, shutting the sliding wooden door behind himself. After he felt that he was able to say his wife's name without bursting into sobs, the newly single father of 4, made his way to the living room to talk to his precious children. 

      The 2 oldest, Hunter and Kenzie, were sitting on the couch each holding one of their little brothers. 

      "Dad, were you crying?" His only daughter asked. 

      Zane sniffled. 

     "Kids. Your mama... she...she's gone." Zane said. 

      Kenzie seemed to understand what he meant, because she started crying. Dustin even understood. However little Zack asked, 

     "Where'd she go?" 

     Zane was hoping he wouldn't have to explain, since he wasn't even sure if he knew how to say it. 

     "No. Zack, she's dead." Hunter cried, his arms around his siblings. 

      "What? Daddy?" Zack asked. 

      Zane nodded, and forced himself to not cry. Crying in front of his children would be the worst thing he could do. They needed him to be strong, not a sobbing blubbering mess of emotion. 

     Zane hugged his children as they sobbed. 

     Zane couldn't cry, he forced himself to not cry. He needed to be their strong, in control (of at least his emotions), father. His heart felt like it got hit by a train, but he could not let them see him cry. Hunter seeing him cry was bad enough.

      After a while, Hunter pulled away from the hug saying he was gonna call his best friend until he answered the phone. That reminded Zane of his own friends. They'd want to know. 

      Kenzie was the next to break free from the hug followed by Dustin. However baby Zacky didn't want to be anywhere but in his father's embrace. 

      Zane got up, Zack still in his arms and called his insomniac best friend whose wife had died a few years ago. All he managed to get out was, "She's gone." but Ky knew what he meant and said he'd be right over. 

      Zane found he couldn't quite say the word dead yet. 

      Zack was clinging to Zane, his face buried in his shoulder. 

      Zane was still fighting tears off like they were his arch enemy. All he wanted to do was cry, but he couldn't, not with his 6 year old in his arms. If he was embarrassed because his oldest saw him crying, then he would be absolutely horrified if his youngest saw him crying. 

      He looked at the clock to find it was exactly 1:10 am. 

     A few minutes later there was a knock on the door. Zane handed Zack off to Hunter, (just in case it was a crazy person), before answering the door. His best friend was standing there with his daughter. 

     Brittany made her way inside and Ky gave him a hug. The hug made him want to cry even more than he already did, but he refused. More of his friends showed up and he found himself talking to the adults while the kids were all inside. 

      The longer he tried not to cry the more he wanted to. 

      After a while his best friends dragged him deep into the woods, away from his kids. He needed to get back to his kids. As soon as they stopped walking he'd tell them that. 

     They stopped in the middle of the woods, so far from his log cabin that he couldn't even see any of the lights anymore. 

      "I'm fine guys really. I should get back to my kids. They need me. I have to be strong." He told his best friends, hoping they'd understand as well as his tears that wanted to show themselves. 

       "Zaney. It's ok. It's us. It's ok to cry. We're your best friends. We would never judge you for crying, especially after something like this." Lucas told him, and Ky squeezed his shoulder. 

      With those kind words and touch, the want became an irresistible need, and being unable to stop the tears Zane burst into sobs. He was immediately wrapped in a 4 way embrace. Zane suddenly couldn't stop crying. He cried harder than ever. 

      After a while he pulled away from the hug and told them what exactly happened. They comforted and hugged him until he was willing to go back to his log cabin. 

      As soon as he stepped into his house Zack ran over to him and hugged his legs. Zane picked him up and held him close. Zack was sniffling in his ear, his face buried in his neck.

      "Daddy don't leave." He cried, making Zane feel terrible for letting his friends drag him away from his children. 

      "I won't. Shh. I'm here. I've got you." He whispered to his youngest. 

       Hunter was talking to Jonathan, while Kenzie was with her friends and Dustin was with his. Roxy and Gabe were now here and they gave Zane a hug. 

       Hours ticked by and people poured in and out of his house all night long. His best friends and their families stayed all night. Someone came for Jade's body around 7, and Zane almost started crying again. 

     Before his best friends left, they hugged him, and Zane knew he'd be ok. It would just take time, but with friends like these he knew he'd be ok.