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As the Curtin pulls, back, we See Wally Checking his watch, and people all, over the train station from all kinds of demographics. Young & Old. Male and Female.
CHANDLER HAGAN:
ALL ABORD!!!
ROSE COLLINS-PAYNE
Train to Cedar Falls is on track 4 everyone don’t miss it, that mean you my dear grandson SIMON…SIMON…SIMON!!!
PAM:
COME ON SIMON WE NEED TO GET TO SCHOOL, I HAVE WAY TOO MANY THINGS TO DO WE GRADUATE IN LIKE 2 WEEKS AND I STILL NEED TO FINISH MY SPEECH FOR ACCEPTIING SCHOLORSHIP FROM HARVARD UNIVERSITY.
SIMON
WAIT PAM, YOU FINALLY HEARD BACK FROM THEM? DIDN’T YOU APPLY TO THEM LIKE 3 YEARS AGO?
PAM:
WELL YOU SEE MY DEAR LAZIDAZICAL FRIEND, SOMETIMES YOU JUST KNOW THINGS. YOU SEE MY UNCLE CHANDLER OVER THERE HE KNEW HE WOULD ONE DAY BE HERE TRAVELING UP AND DOWN THESE RAIL WAYS SINCE HE WAS YOUR AGE. AND LIKE HIM I TOO KNOW HOW WHERE I AM GOING IN LIFE. IT’S JUST THEY ARE BUSY. MOST LIKELY AT THE AWARDS NIGHT NEXT WEEK.
CHANDLER:
WELL SWEET PEA, REMEMBER NOT EVERYONE IS ME, YOUR MOM WANTED TO BE A DOCTOR BUT ENDED UP BECOMING THE MANAGER OF CEDER FALLS CINEMA? THIS IS JUST WHAT I KNOW, SO THIS IS WHAT I DO
ROSE
YEAH FOR 45 YEARS, WELL THAT AND SHE MARRIED THE OWNER OF THE CINEMA THAT HELPS.
ALL LAUGH
Just then we see a Small well dressed man, MYRON S BANKS standing off to the side with his arms folded obviously not happy with the morning antics
SIMON
GRAM!
ROSE
OH HUSH CHILD, IT’S NOT LIKE WE ARE NOT ALL THINKING THE SAME THING.
MYRON
NOW ROSE WHAT THAT CALLED FOR AT 5:45 IN THE MORNING? AND WHY ARE THESE TWO STILL HERE!
ROSE:
OH LOOK CHILDREN IT MUST BE RAINING UP CAUSE THE SLUGS ARE ALL COMING OUT
All laugh again
SHE GLAIRES AT MYRON who flips her off IN A SNOODY WAY and walks away in DISCUSSED
simon
What an Asshole
rose
Simon Keith Payne you watch that devils tong of yours Young Man?
pam
Yeah that will be the day.
Chandler
That apple didn’t fall too far, and by the way you two better get going your going to be late. See you tonight. Remember safe travels kids
PAM
Your right Uncle Chandler, let’s go Simple Simon before something else happens
OFF STAGE WE SEE A YOUNG MAN ADAM REEDS WITH A GUATAR CASE WALKS ONTO THE STAGE, AND SET UP TO PLAY
ADAM REEDS
GOOD MORNING Y’ALL WHAT’S CRACKING?
CHANDLER
GOOD MORNING DOCTOR A-DAM THE MAN, HOW’S THINGS GOING THIS MORNING?
EVERYONE LAUGHS
HE LOOKS AROUND AND SEE’S MYRON STARING AT HIM, THEN HE WALKS OVER IN A RUSHING MANNER
MYRON
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING YOUNG MAN! I KNOW YOUR NOT GOING TO BE PESTERING US WITH WHAT YOU THINK IS MUSIC?
ADAM
MR. BANKS GOOD MORNING TO YOU TOO SIR, OH HERE I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU, HE OPENS HIS BAG AND PULLS OUT A CARD AND HANDS IT TO MYRON WITH HIS MIDDLE FINGER STICKING OUT.
CHANDLER
I BET I KNOW WHAT IT IS..
ROSE
OH MYRON, WHAT’S THE MATTER, HE HAS A PASS TO ENTERTAIN US, INSTEAD OF HARASS US LIKE YOUR SLIMMY ASS?
MYRON:
DON’T YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT ROSE, JUST BECAUSE YOU AND THIS FOOL HAVE BEEN HERE SINCE MY GRANDAD OWNED THIS STATION, AND LOVED YOU TWO MORE THEN EVEN ME, DOEST MEAN YOU CAN TALK TO YOUR BOSS LIKE THAT?
PAM
WHO IS A FOOL? SHE LOOKS TO GO AFTER MYRON BUT CHANDLER HOLDER HER, BACK,
CHANDLER
OH SWEET PEA, DON’T YOU WORRY ABOUT HIM, IVE BEEN HERE BEFORE HIM, AND I WILL BE HERE WAY AFTER HIM TOO.
MYRON
WHAT WAS THAT CHANDLER? (HE SNICKERS) I MEANT TO TELL YOU YOUR 50TH ANNIVERSARY HERE IS COMING UP RIGHT?
ROSE
THAT’S RIGHT POINT DEXTER, LONGER THEN YOU HAVE BEEN ALIVE ASSHOLE
SIMON
ROSE COLLINS-PAYNE THAT IS NOT VERY LADY LIKE TALK IS IT? YOU NEED TO CLEAN IT UP AND BE NICE TO YOUR BOSS MORON! (HE SHOOTS MYRON A EVIL LOOK)
EVERYONE LAUGHS EXCEPT MYRON
MYRON: WELL SINCE YOU THINK IT’S FUNNY YOU WILL ALL LOVE THIS. CHANDLER YOUR NOT GOING TO BE HERE AFTER YOU REACH THAT 50TH MARK. YOUR DONE!
ROSE
YOU SLIMMY SNAKE
PAM
WELL ACTUALLY SNAKES ARE NOT SLIMMY THEY ARE VERY DRY.
ROSE
HUSH CHILD.
SIMON
OKAY PAM WE BETTER GET GOING TO SCHOOL, PLENTY OF TIME TO SHIT ON HIM WHEN WE COME BACK. (PAM HUGS HER UNCLE AND GIVES HIM A KISS ON THE CHEEK AND THEY WALK OFF STAGE AND GIVE ANGRY LOOKS AT MYRON AND FLIP HIM OFF AND THEY EXIT STAGE.
CHANDLER
THIS IS MY LIFE, THIS IS WHO I AM, AND ALL I KNOW, YOU CAN’T MAKE ME QUIT!
JUST THEN ANOTHER ONE OF THE PEOPLE IN THE STATION KEVIN JOSLIN- PUTS HIS PAPER THAT WAS UPSIDE DOWN, BESIDE HIM AND PROCEEDDS TO WALK INTO THE MIDDLE,
KEVIN JOSLIN
NO HE CAN’T MAKE YOU QUIT AND IF HE FIRES YOU, YOU CAN SUE HIM FOR DISCRIMINATION. MY NAME IS ATTORNY KEVIN JOSLIN ESQ. AND I TRAVEL THIS STATION EVERYDAY FOR THE PAST 8 YEARS. (HE FUMBLES THROUGH HIS BAG AFTER A FEW MOMENT OF FUMBLING HE PULLS OUT A COOKIE-HERE TAKE MY CARD HE HANDS THEM A COOKIE
JUST THEN A YOUNGER WOMEN -CASSIE EDWARDS- WALKS ON STAGE IN A PANIC AND HANDS THEM AN ACTUAL CARD.
CASSIE
SORRY MR. JOSLIN I WAS IN THE RESTROOM, FOR ONLY A MINUTE.
KEVIN
IT’S FINE CASSIE. NO PROBLEM, I HAD THIS WELL IN HAND. WHAT TIME AGAIN IS OUR MEETING WITH LARRY BIRD IN BOSTON?
CASSIE
YOUR TRAIL WITH CINDY COTTONWORTHY IS TODAY AT 10AM
KEVIN
RIGHT I MENT THAT. BUT WE MIGHT HAVE TO ADD THIS CASE TO OUR CASE LOAD, MR. MORON STINKS WANTS TO FIRE OUR FAVORTIE CONDUCTOR WALLY HAGAN.
CHANDLER
Wally was my brother, he was a good man, I am Chandler
Rose
Yeah your right he is a Moron, and he does Stink but this worm is the Grandson of the Owner of this staion. Hid dad just died and this Jack-off took over. And as for Wally he was, great in the sack too!
Kevin
Right I knew that, and Cassie I also knew who we were meeting I was just testing you. (Cassie comedically rolls her eyes)
Cassie
Right sir, of course, we do need to get a move on, what track is Our train Chandler?
Chandler
Norwood in track 6. Have a safe trip to both of you and good luck on your case today.
They both say thank you, and as Kevin goes to shake Chandler’s hand, and can’t find his hand. Cassie fixed it quick. And they walked off stage.
Rose
Oh Chandler Honey, it looks like it’s going to be one of these days. Only here
Myron
I Hate this mad house I own, I hate you all I’ll be in my office. Don’t come by
Rose
Oh Moron, that’s too bad, I really wanted to talk to you about how much you suck, fool Please no one to go see you in your hot ass, stuck up office. Get out of here and let the adults work will you?
Chandler
Rose, it’s always the same everyday it’s why I love this place. This is heaven to me.
Rose
Here….Heaven… Chandler what train are you driving today?
Chandler
Same as always!!
Adam
I bet I know, and One and two…All aboard Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay
Crazy, but that's how it goes
Millions of people living as foes
Maybe it's not too late
To learn how to love
And forget how to hate
Mental wounds not healing
Life's a bitter shame
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
Let's go
I've listened to preachers
I've listened to fools
I've watched all the dropouts
Who make their own rules
One person conditioned to rule and control
The media sells it, and you live the role
Mental wounds still screaming
Driving me insane
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I know that things are going wrong for me
You gotta listen to my words, yeah
Heirs of a cold war
That's what we've become
Inheriting troubles, I'm mentally numb
Crazy, I just cannot bear
I'm living with something that just isn't fair
Mental wounds not healing
Who and what's to blame?
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
The ledge, ha-ha, the edge
Breaks into Song: Crazy Train
Everyone sing and performs Crazy Train
curtain falls
end scene
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