Warm Embrace

  The rain is cold. Not as cold as my heart. My heart is icy. It's sharp, it's painful, it's heavy. And I hated it.

Ava loved the rain. She would laugh and dance gleefully through the sheets of water, kicking puddles, lifting her head up and letting the rain bounce off her face. No matter how cold it got, her embrace was always warm. I used to love the rain, too. Now it was like needles, falling from the sky, piercing my skin. A constant, painful reminder of what I lost.

The leaves squeaked under my yellow rubber boots. As I left the paved road, towering trees suffocated me with their leaves. I was almost there. Then I could go home.

But I would never escape the rain.

Ava's tree was standing there, tall and twisted. The bark was beautifully smooth and the leaves were like delicate emeralds. This tree had been standing here for years, its old branches somehow as strong as ever.

How cruel must fate be to let the tree live when Ava died so young? It wasn't fair. She was young and innocent and pure. She had a bright future, a loving family. I knew deep down that I couldn't have changed anything, yet it was still my fault. Maybe if I had noticed the signs, maybe I could've seen the cancer cells…somehow…

I was being ridiculous. Shaking the thought out of my head, I started to climb. The bark was rough in my hands. With natural speed and agility second only to Ava’s, I got to the top of the tree in record time. 

The pink envelope with the little heart on it was glued to my hand with fear. What had Ava wanted me to do? I reread the message in my mind.

Hi Rosie!

If you are reading this, I am very sorry. I know this will be hard, but could you please climb the tree one last time? If the doctors kept their promise, there will be another letter in the same envelope for you. I'm sorry. I hope you know you were my best friend. 

Enjoy the scavenger hunt. 

Keep smiling girl! Good luck!

Ava

"Rosie," I laughed, fighting against tears. "What a stupid nickname." My face was hot despite the cold downpour, and I just wanted to go home and curl into a ball.

Yet here I was, looking for a soggy envelope that contained Ava's last wishes, shivering, not just from the cold. 

Think, I told myself. Where would Ava hide the message?

Enjoy the scavenger hunt. 

The words stirred in my mind. After a moment, I laughed, however halfheartedly. When we were kids, Ava's parents had set up their own Easter egg hunt for the two of us. The gold egg contained twenty dollars. There was only one egg, and of course, we both wanted it. 

I could only imagine the shock on my eight-year-old face when, after hours of hopeless searching, her parents showed us a hidden nook in our tree, underneath its roots. We split the money, but that wasn’t really of importance to us anymore. As we grew up, we’d sneak little notes in the hole. 

Little notes.

Of course.

I rushed down the tree, my limbs moving faster than my mind, blurs of yellow plastic from my coat covering most of my view. Once a few feet from the ground, I leapt off and landed on the ground with a loud thud. More cautiously, I lowered myself onto my stomach, trying to ignore the squishing of the mud underneath my coat. I reached under the roots, into a small space. My fingertips brushed against something soft.

Paper. 

Trying my best to shield the paper from the rain, I pulled the envelope out from its resting place and stood up. I bounced from foot to foot, curiosity blooming inside me.

“Here goes nothing,” I muttered to myself, lifting the seal and grabbing the letter. Immediately, the smell of lavender was overwhelming. Ava always wore perfume, but it was never this strong.

I shook my head. It had to be a figment of my imagination, a hallucination. I’d been having those a lot. I open the letter, read it, then read it again. It contained only two words, but the message was clear:

turn around

I held my breath. Ava had probably set this up. My family would be right behind me as I turned around embarrassed, wouldn’t they? I would end up crying, and I couldn’t do that again. If I cried, the tears would never end, and it would all feel real again. Her death would be like a reopened wound. Fresh, raw, burning, and impossible to heal. I couldn’t face that again.

I almost ran away. I almost bolted without looking back, no plan in mind. But my feet wouldn’t move. This was Ava’s last wish. The least I could do was follow her requests. 

I pivoted on my heel, my back now facing the tree.

"Hey," the voice was soft, barely above a whisper. They waved shyly at me with a soft smile. I couldn’t breathe, I stumbled backwards. Tears welled in my eyes, a small smile wavered on my lips.

“A-Ava?” was all I could choke out.

She smiled at me with a nod, her eyes full of tears as well. I ran toward her, blowing into her and wrapping my arms around her body.

It was real.

Her embrace was warm.

I started going into hysteria. My voice cracked and my eyes were puffy. “But-but I saw you- you were…” The word dead caught in my throat.

Ava hushed me, petting my hair. “It’s okay, Rosie. I’m here.”

I laughed, the effort making my body shake. “What a stupid nickname!” We exclaimed in unison with a chuckle. 

We stood like this for a while, me mostly leaning on Ava for support. My legs shook. There was no way she was here, but I could feel her. Her touch was real. When we eventually parted, I looked her up and down.

She looked as she had about a year ago, before she started showing symptoms of cancer. Her hair was wavy and the color of copper. Two tiny braids wrapped around the front of her head and were tied in the back with a simple silk ribbon. Her eyes glowed emerald in the shining rain. Freckles dotted her healthy face. Again, I said her name. She smiled.

“How?” I started, forcing the words out of my mouth. “How’d you..you were- How are you here?” The rain stopped bothering me. In fact, everywhere it touched my skin, the water seemed to tingle with excitement, as if it knew Ava was home again. 

She smiled gently, but offered no response. Just a shrug. But it didn’t really matter. I didn’t care how Ava came back. She was with me again, and we were together, and that was all that mattered.

The rain was heavy, like a blanket. Not in a suffocating way, more like the feeling you get after you walk home on a rough day. A welcome feeling. A feeling of comfort. And I loved it.

I danced gleefully through the sheets of water with Ava, kicking puddles and splashing each other. Anytime I felt myself get cold, Ava would hug me. 

Her embrace was always warm.