The love mistake of my life

March 2002- Club Twisters

It was Saturday night hanging out with this guy. We were chilling out listening to loud music. He’s a black guy and somewhat attractive, but I wasn’t interested in him. He noticed this guy looking over at us. That guy is checking you out. The next thing I knew, he walked over to the table and introduced himself to me.  My buddy left the table. He asked me to dance with him. After we danced, he told me he had to leave. My buddy ran into me again and wanted me to take him home. I told him I couldn’t because I got a text from my cousin she was in the emergency room, but I was lying. I wasn’t going home with him. As I was walking to my car, the guy I met inside said I dedicated this song to you Baby Got Back by Sir Mix A Lot. 

Fast forward to 6 months later- September 21, 2002:

Saturday Night. The club packed like sardines. I wanted the DJ to play 2 songs. I requested that he play Die Another Day by Madonna and Like I Love You by Justin Timberlake. I was looking at this older Mexican guy who is a regular at the club. I was standing along the wall, enjoying the scenes. I enjoyed looking at the short Mexican guy. He was dancing his little heart out. Out of the blue, this guy swirled his hips into mines. He asked me what was wrong. I requested 2 songs to play, and he hasn’t played them yet. What are the songs you want to hear? He went up to the DJ’s booth. The next thing I heard was the 2 songs. He came back to me, and I thanked him for getting those songs played for me. He offered to buy me a drink. We walked around the club, hand in hand with me following him. He bought me my first drink. My favorite drink  Blue Alcohol Drink. As I was drinking, this full-figured Hispanic girl pulled him away from me and they went on the dance floor. I was standing there looking and feeling like a fool. I admit he was a good-looking guy. I decided that I would walk around the club to find a new spot to chill. I got back into the mood to enjoy myself., I was walking around and ran into him again. He bought me another blue drink. The first thing that he said to me, that’s not the girl’s phone number He was trying to explain about the phone number that he had on his hand. He was acting like he was defending himself to me. My opinion is that when he disappeared for that long period, he was with that Hispanic chick. We hung for the rest of the night until the club closed at 3 AM. We were hand in hand with me following him; when one of the strangest things happen. This African guy that I met last week, who was trying to get me to take him to my car because she stated that he had a gift for me. He seems possessive, like those African men are. He saw me leaving out the club with a white guy and got upset and called me a bitch. The white guy wanted to beat his butt. Looking back, I understand now what he was feeling. How could I leave with a white guy but didn’t want to leave with my race? Both sides of the parking lot packed, and even across the street packed. He wanted me to go back with him, but I told him I don’t sleep with a guy I just met. We hung out in the parking lot for 3 hours. I remember that bartender that waited on me said: “he’s walking through the glass to get to you”. I think the bartender’s name nicknamed “johnboy” because he wore suspenders. He was tall, skinny looking. We were kissing and hugging each other off and on for 3 hours. He was drunk, and I worried about him. I got home at 6:30 am and went to sleep and got back up at 10:00 am. I got ready for church, but I drove back out there to check on him and his Black Chevrolet Truck gone. I got worried, but I drove back and went to church got there late. Just in time to hear my pastor sermon, but I was ashamed that I was an hour late to church. I feel so guilty that day. We exchanged numbers the night before. I called him when I got back from church at 2:30 pm. He answered the phone and told me he was sleep and he would call back in 2 & ½ hours. He called me at 5 pm. This guy wanted me to see me again the next weekend. I wanted to set up to meet that next Saturday,, and he wanted to meet that next Friday. He called me, and I called him all that next week leading up to meeting him that Friday. He was a sexy and good-looking guy. I was so excited to meet him that night all day at work. I got off work and got ready to meet him. I just couldn’t believe how much he looked like the WWE Wrestler “Brock Lesnar”. The major difference was that he was much shorter than Brock Lesnar. My guy is five foot nine and Brock is six foot three. We set up the time to be at 8 pm. He got there before me. As I was pulling up on the club’s parking lot, he was waiting for me across the street. I didn’t see him parked across the street. We went up the street and got a hotel room. He wanted to get a drink. We went to the liquor store down the street from the hotel room. There was a black guy and white guy working, the white guy was looking at us like he was crazy like my guy shouldn’t be with me because I am a black woman and he’s a white guy. It didn’t matter to the black guy, but that was a shock to me. We left and went to the gas station to pick up the things to take back to the hotel room. We got back at 9:00 pm. I was nervous sitting over in a corner in a chair, and he was pacing back and forward. We were both nervous. This was the first time that I have been with a white guy. Yes, I am black and I know that people don’t like black and white being together. A perfect example was that fat, sloppy and nasty looking white man. My guy was a smoker. He loves to smoke Newport, which known for the cigarettes that black people smoke. He said that night. I will not hurt you; I just want to make love to you. A lot has happened over the past 18 years. I thought I loved him and he told me I never was your boyfriend and how can you love me when you don’t know me? They're more to this story, but I got to know who he was. He was military and suffering from PTSD. I thought I had fallen in love with him; it was a lie on my end. It came down to me being fascinated with him looking like Brock Lesnar. It never was about me being in love with him.