No Home

“The French fries were cold,” Aurelius muttered under his breath. “They were cold and on the counter top.”

He walked through the doorway of the house and beelined it to the kitchen. It had been months and months, might as well call it years. Cecelia had been sitting at the kitchen table, Dad had been cleaning up the kitchen and Mom had just brought in the bags from McDonald’s and placed them on the table. It hadn’t been the smoothest of nights but ended good all around. The house still smelled like burnt casserole and the dishwasher still needed to be started but they feasted on good old fashioned cheeseburgers and fries. A lot of trips and school had been keeping them apart but now it was nice to be together. Little did they know what was to come.

Aurelius blinked hard now standing in the twilight of the kitchen. It was empty and hard to see but the feelings it brought were hard to ignore. He could see the kitchen from the front door but it didn’t hit him until now. This is where his life changed forever. That night was the last night his family was together like that. It was the last night that the kitchen was the central place of the house. The last time he had ever felt at home. He closed his eyes and continued the memory.

There they were, eating their burgers, reliving the last several hours. The homework was done, the smell of burnt casserole hung in the air. Bentley the family dog was lying on the floor hoping for part of a hamburger patty. It turned out he was hiding in the laundry room and no one knew so there was a great search and the casserole burned. They were laughing over the craziness of the evening when Mom cleared her throat. Aurelius had been naive enough to think she was choking. If only. They could have handled that. 

“I’ve been offered a big position at work,” she announced. “We need to be moved out by the end of the month.” 

They were all left shocked but Mom’s enormous grin gave away her excitement. Aurelius had lost his appetite and left his French fries to go cold. Then it started. The rushed move, suddenly changing schools, Dad having an affair to cope, Cecelia refusing to leave and move to the new house, Aurelius just had to stay sane because everything else was falling apart. Once the divorce was finalized and he and Cecelia moved in with his grandparents things appeared quiet for a bit. That was until they got a call that their divorced parents were in a car accident. At least maybe they were happy together one last time. At least maybe they remembered what love was once more before the end. 

Little did anyone know they still had possession of this old empty house until the meeting with the attorney. Who better to get it but Aurelius. When he asked, Cecelia refused to even come wait in the car while he looked at it. He didn’t blame her. It would have been the smart thing to just hire someone to sell it for him. But he couldn’t do it. Not when this was the only place that had and probably would ever feel like home. 

Aurelius sat on the white marble countertop. There was such a mix of emotions. If only he had tried to convince his mom not to take the job. Or he fought harder or something, but now there was no home. He could feel the anxiety coming but he shoved it down. That was the best way to cope. No one cared. He didn’t care. He took a deep breath and crossed his arms. One day it would all be over, he just had to make it there.

He hopped off the counter and sat on the floor with his back against the counter. He closed his eyes. He let the darkness surround him. The hard times were all that was left. There was no joy, sunshine, or home. There was nothing good left. Just a sad empty house and two orphan children. 

“Aurelius?” he heard a woman’s voice come from the doorway.

“Philomena,” he whispered to himself, letting his eyes flicker open. He didn’t wanna see anyone. He didn’t want sympathy. He didn’t want her to get swallowed in the darkness either. She was the most beautiful joyful person that cared deeply and he didn’t wanna tarnish that with his black soul. His darkness would put out her light. 

“Aurelius, Cecelia said you were here,” she called. “I saw your car and I know you’re here.”

Aurelius didn’t move. He didn’t even open his eyes. It would be better if she didn’t find him. Philomena came around the counter and dropped down beside him. He felt her hand on his shoulder. She gently rubbed his shoulder. She knew. She knew everything. About his parents, about this house, but Aurelius always tried to keep a neutral expression when it came up.

“Look at me,” Philomena gently coaxed. 

Aurelius kept his eyes closed.

“Please Aurelius,” Philomena whispered. 

Aurelius took another deep breath and kept his eyes closed. 

“Please don’t shut me out. It hurts,” Philomena spoke gently. 

Aurelius’ eyes opened. He looked at her. She looked sad. He took a deep breath and let the dark feeling be but he let go so he wasn’t holding onto it. It would pass. It wouldn’t last forever.

“I’m sorry,” he spoke. 

Philomena smiled. “No one can be that neutral.” 

“It’s just this was the last place that ever felt like home,” Aurelius explained. 

“I get that, but maybe home isn’t where you're expecting it to be. Or how.”

“Maybe. I do feel pretty at home with you,” Aurelius couldn’t help a slight grin.

Philomena looked at the floor with her cheeks pink.

“How about we go get some dinner and talk about what we’re gonna do with this old house,” Aurelius offered.

“I’d like that,” Philomena looked intently at him with a warm smile. Warm and cozy, just like home.