Bed Time Story

Every day is a new adventure, Madeline reminds herself.

It's four o'clock, and both Madeline and Emily are sick. The fever has been going around, and everyone they know has it. Madeline needs to cancel her five-thirty dinner with the boss but she knows ducking out is the express route to former employee. So she has to find a sitter, and fast.

Jenny, her regular sitter, is sick. And so is her backup, Angela. Desperate, she texts Angela and asks if she knows a friend. But her friends are sick too. Angela does, however, point Madeline to a site everyone in the neighborhood uses for announcements and garage sales. "Try this" she says.

Madeline makes the post:

"Help! Need a responsible sitter on short notice to watch precocious 3 year old girl tonite until late! Live over by the school. Will pay top $$$! PLEASE!!!"

It isn't five minutes and there's a response from a Lindsey McTavish:

"Sure, will be there in ten min. Send me your address."

Madeline sends the information, breathing a sigh of relief.

Punctual to a tee, eleven minutes later the doorbell rings. Madeline, dressed and ready to go, answers the door. An older woman, gray hair in a neat bun, stands looking a little lost.

"Hello. I'm Lindsey, your babysitter."

Madeline takes a deep breath. Not one of the young girls I'm used to, the ones that can keep up with a high energy three year. Still, it's better than nothing.

"Hello. I'm Madeline. Please come in."

The two make their way into the living room. Lindsey puts her coat and book on the couch, and Madeline, bordering on fashionably late, fills in the blanks.

"Her name is Emily. She's three, but acts more like fifteen. Don't let her fool you. Be firm. There are hot dogs in the fridge and chips in the pantry. She likes Hawaiian Punch, but no more than two glasses. She can watch Toy Story when she finishes her dinner. One snack around seven is ok. String cheese is in the refrigerator door. Sorry I'm rushing but this dinner meeting is REAL important."

Lindsey smirks. "I got this. You have a good night, now. Break a leg."

Madeline gives her a hug. "Thank you SO MUCH. You're a lifesaver."

Linsey nods, "Have a good time," and closes the door behind.

As soon as Madeline is gone, Lindsey calls. "Emily? Where are you?" A frightened face peeks around from the staircase. Lindsey smiles, pouring on the charm. "Hello, Emily. I'm Lindsey, your babysitter. How are you?"

Emily just nods, keeping her distance. Lindsey puts on concern. "Oh my. I bet you're hungry. Are you hungry?" Emily returns a small, slow nod.

Lindsey grins. "Well it's a good thing we have hot dogs and chips, isn't it? You like that, right?" Emily nods again, and Lindsey knows it's dinner time. "Well, I say let's have dinner now. How does that sound?"

Emily looks concerned. "It isn't time for dinner yet."

Lindsey looks around, pretending to keep a secret. "I won't say anything if you won't, ok?" She adds a wink, and Emily claps.

* * *

Lindsey has dinner prepared and served in no time. Emily's fever is still making her sweat but she's hungry enough to put away three hot dogs, a plate of chips, and two glasses of Hawaiian Punch. Dinner finished, Lindsey comments, "Are you sick with that fever everyone's got?"

Emily puts on sad eyes and a slow nod. "Mommy says I might need to go to the doctor."

Lindsey chuckles. "Oh dear. That doesn't sound good. And you know doctors, poking with sharp needles. That's going to hurt."

Emily's sad puppy dog eyes tell the story, and Lindsey comes to the rescue. "This is your lucky day. I know how to fix that without going to the doctor. Does that sound like something you might like?"

Emily's eyes brighten right up, and Lindsey explains the process. "I know it's going to sound strange, but this works. I promise. I have to give you a bath here in the kitchen. The water has special herbs in it that will heal you. Ok?" Emily's face says skeptical but she is curious.

Lindsey rummages through the cabinets until she finds a huge roasting pot. It's not perfect, but it'll do. She walks over to the pantry and gets a selection of herbs and spices out. Then she looks in the fridge and pulls out carrots and potatoes, and beef stock. Perfect.

Emily looks like she's going to change her mind, so Lindsey pours on the charm, issuing chuckles and smiles in overdose levels. "All of these will knock that nasty old fever out once and for all."

Lindsey runs upstairs to the bathroom, grabs a towel, and returns. Emily's expression changes from doubt to fear, and Lindsey consoles her. "This will make you feel better. Go in the living room and take off your clothes. Wrap up in this towel and keep warm, ok?" Emily slow nods and does as instructed. Meanwhile, Lindsey fills the huge pot half full with lukewarm water and adds herbs, spices, carrots, potatoes, and beef stock. She puts the pot on the floor right in front of the oven, and preheats it on low. This is going to be SO good.

Emily returns wrapped in a towel, scared and skeptical. Lindsey sees an opportunity. "So this is like a game. We need to keep pouring this special water all over you to get that nasty old fever to go away. Ok? So take off the towel and get in. I have the magic spoon here. Take it and start spooning the water all over, like this."

Lindsey spoons the water over Emily. She squeals at first, and then starts laughing. "It tickles." Lindsey nods, "Just like it should," and stands back, watching. Emily starts slow but gradually warms to the idea. After a few minutes Emily looks at Lindsey. "What is this called?" Lindsey smiles. "My mom just called it marinade."

Emily continues and is busy spooning the mix when she suddenly looks to Lindsey. “Can you read me a story? “

Lindsey grins. “Why sure.” She gets her book from the couch and begins reading. “Princess Pot Roast. Ingredients. One princess, carrots, potatoes, celery, beef or chicken stock (optional), salt, thyme, and rosemary. Preheat-.”

Emily squeals with delight. “There’s a princess in it!”

Lindsey nods and grins. “There sure is!”

Emily bathes close to five minutes when Lindsey notices goose bumps on her. "Cold?" Emily nods and Lindsey opens the oven. "Hang on. I'll put you in here. That should make those old goose bumps go away”. She carefully lifts the pot and Emily, all thirty-some pounds of her, into the oven. The temperature is low, about a hundred degrees, and she smiles to Emily.

"The heat will take care of that fever in no time." And once Emily is in, she turns on the light and smiles, closes the door, and sets the timer for forty-five minutes and the temperature to three hundred fifty.

* * *

Lindsey hears the timer, and returns to inspect her masterpiece. But when she opens the oven, the sight is beyond words. Emily is still splashing the water on her, enjoying every minute of it. She turns to Lindsey, laughing, "It worked! Fever goes bye-bye!" Lindsey sees Emily's skin looks leathery and gray, unnatural.

Before Lindsey can say anything, Emily wiggles out, knocking the pot and all the contents onto the floor. She slip-slides across the wet floor, onto a kitchen chair, and into Lindsey, hugging her. "You fixed me!" And then Emily sinks her teeth into Lindsey's neck and pulls off a meal fit for a princess.

* * *

Madeline returns home close to eleven. It's been a long night, but the fever finally broke and she's hungry again. When she pulls in the drive everything looks normal, a welcome sign. But when she opens the front door, the smell of Thanksgiving gone bad fills the air. She makes her way into the kitchen to a sight that takes her breath away.

There's a mix of what appears to be stew and blood all over the floor. Camped out in front of the oven is Emily. She's buck naked and chewing corn cob style on a human arm. Madeline shrieks and steps back, noticing chewed remains of Lindsey scattered around the kitchen. "WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!"

Emily looks guilty. "I got hungry." Madeline shakes her head. "Look at this mess! And Cricket, dear, you're doing that all wrong. Start at the wrist and work the other way."

Madeline steps in and recovers the remaining pieces of Lindsey, wrapping them in foil and storing them in the refrigerator. Emily still continues with the arm, potatoes and carrots added for fiber. Madeline winks at Emily. "Go watch Toy Story while I clean up in here. And leave your snack here too."

Emily darts into the living room and turns on Toy Story while Madeline cleans. She has the dirty pots and utensils in the dishwasher, and the floor mopped and clean in a New York minute. Looking at the clock, she sees it's past Emily's bed time.

"Time for bed, Cricket."

Emily is absorbed in Toy Story, and pretends not to hear. Every three year old likes a Pixar movie, and Madeline wants to let her finish. But it is bed time.

"Come on, Cricket. You can finish it tomorrow."

Emily puts on the quivering lower lip and the sad eyes.

"But Mommy, what about Sheriff Woody?"

Madeline doesn't buy it and puts on the firm Mommy face. She picks up the book and taps the cover. "Tomorrow."

Emily knows it's time for bed when the story book comes out.

The two of them make the trek upstairs to Emily's room. It's a room every three year old girl would want, pink walls adorned with posters of Disney princesses and Pixar movies. Emily jumps in bed ready for a story.

Madeline is about to pick a story when she spots blood on Emily's hand. "Go to the bathroom and wipe off your hand, Cricket. You missed a spot."

Emily glances at the blood, shoots Madeline a terrified look, and dashes off to the bathroom. Minutes later she returns, hand clean, and gets back in bed. Madeline furrows her brow and purses her lips. "Be careful, Cricket. If someone sees that..." Emily giggles and points at Madeline's mouth. "You got some around your mouth, like a clown."

Madeline dashes off to the bathroom and looks in the mirror. Sure enough, a light ring of blood surrounds her mouth. Looking again, it could be mistaken for a sloppy lipstick job, a consoling thought. Madeline laughs. "You're right, Cricket. Mommy is a mess too." Emily giggles. "Where did it come from?" Madeline grins. "I had dinner with the boss. Any you know what? I don't think we'll be having any more." Madeline wipes it off and returns to Emily.

Madeline can see Emily is concerned, the furrowed brow plain as day, and she slips in a small grin. "So what story do you want to hear tonight?"

Emily puts on a toothy grin. "Lindsey read Princess Pot Roast but I didn't like it."

Madeline smirks. "No wonder. Well, it's a good thing I have something you might like better." She opens the book as Emily giggles.

Madeline finds the page and prepares to read. "It's called Cannibal Cutlets."

Emily burps.