A World at War

Long ago, there lived a little girl named Liesbet who had a secret friend called Greta. Greta’s family didn’t know about Liesbet. As a grownup, she didn’t tell anyone about her friend Greta because she had deliberately forgotten what had happened. 

The story came out when she suffered her stroke in her late eighties. Her long-term memories surfaced and became more crucial than the illusive short-term ones. She had forgotten why she had never told the story.

To fully understand Liesbet, you need to know the tumultuous events that shaped her life.

Liesbet was born on April the twenty-first, 1932, in Jakarta, Indonesia, or the Dutch East Indies, as it had been named. Born into a household of five older brothers, as the first girl in the family and fair like her father, he doted on her. Her sister arrived three years later, as dark as Liesbet was fair. Two years later, the family welcomed another little boy. The four oldest boys didn’t mind having younger sisters but felt the last boy should not have been born. He became the snot-nosed-brat of the family despite his cheerful nature.

Their spacious house had been built for the well-to-do. Chinese servants cooked and cleaned for the family. Liesbet acquired a taste for spicy food and thrived in the tropical heat. Her father worked as a pharmacist. He died, of an insignificant infection in his nose that spread, when Liesbet was five-years-old. The story of a father who had gone to heaven because God had wanted him there comforted the other children, but it filled Liesbet with rage. And the pithy condolence of, “He’s been taken to a better place,” did the same. How dare God take her father away when they needed him. How could be in a better place when the best place was with his family? His choice would be to stay with them. She decided that she hated God. 

Her mother handed the family's finances to her brother, Liesbet’s uncle, on her mother’s side. He promised to wind things up and get her the money as soon as practical. The entire family moved back to the Netherlands. The five older boys felt even more so their sixth brother should not have been born. On a long voyage, a baby is a burden for a young mother with seven other children. 

After a tropical climate for the first five years of Liesbet’s life, arriving in Holland in wintertime with ice and snow, she concluded that there couldn’t be a colder place on earth. With weak ankles, she found ice skating no fun. Her skin became irritated with the weight of the clothing she wore to keep out the cold. At night she and her sister huddled in the same bed for warmth. Frost formed on the folded-over edge of the top sheet from the vapor of their breath.

She missed her father, their home, and the temperate climate left behind in Indonesia. Most of her toys had been left behind. She and her sister used to spend hours playing with their massive doll house, which she missed the most.

The Netherlands declared neutrality from September 1939 to May 1940 after World War 2 broke out. This led to the invasion and occupation by the Germans. Liesbet’s mother did not want her four oldest sons to become part of the German army or be imprisoned, so she hid them. One couldn’t stand confinement, so he sometimes left. Eventually, he was apprehended and ended up in a prisoner-of-war camp. The family didn’t see him again until after the war. They didn’t know if he was dead or alive. Afterwards, he never spoke about his experiences.

The family felt grateful that they settled back in Holland before the Japanese invaded Indonesia. (The Dutch East Indies). When the uncle, who stayed in Jakarta after Leisbet, her mother, and siblings returned to Holland, returned to his homeland, he was severely traumatized and remained under a cloud for the rest of his life. He never talked about what had happened, but to his dying day, whenever the topic came up, he would sob and say, “I lost all the money. I couldn’t take it. There was nothing I could do.” He felt overwhelmed with guilt for not providing money for his sister’s family when a dead man's financial affairs had been his responsibility. This situation didn’t help a widow with eight children, though they never blamed him. 

During the war, food became scarce. Her mother, made the children repeatedly chew each mouthful of food to get out every bit of goodness and to help them feel nourished, despite the small portions. She had a wooden spoon at the table to punish any child that swallowed too soon. They all did chores. An uncle used to drop around skinned rabbits when he could. One time the rabbit had no head. She couldn’t believe it when he dropped round a headless rabbit. Rabbit heads made delicious soup. Later, she found out why. They had eaten a cat. In their uncle's defense, he claimed he provided a ‘roof rabbit.’

They ate vegetables that had formerly been fed to animals. Potatoes boiled with their skins on became food for them. Liesbet, to this day, hates even the smell of unpeeled potatoes in the pot, as well as the modern, popular potato wedges.

One day a boy tried to steal a loaf of bread and was shot in the street in front of her. This horrible story reminded us that we should be grateful for the food put before us. “Some starve and lose their lives for stealing bread.”

We also heard about the bombs dropped on parts of the town by the Germans. Many lost their homes and their lives. The sound of low-flying planes still scares her, a type of Post Traumatic Stress. Ditches were dug along country roads for people to leap into for their lives when bombs dropped.

One day, Liesbet and her sister were walking across a field when they heard a plane overhead. They immediately hit the ground. The aircraft swooped and released its bombs. They survived and sat up in disbelief after it had passed. Its bombs had dropped on one side only. The girls were convinced the man in the plane, though an enemy, had the presence of mind to not target the two girls on his other side.. 

Another time, the girls were walking on the road when a plane approached. They dived into a purpose-dug ditch. A man near them had no recourse but to run to a ditch filled with muddy water. After the plane passed, the three emerged. The two girls looked at the bedraggled man as he exited his pond, dripping wet and covered in mud. He looked outraged. The girls had been so scared they did what happens with nerves. They laughed until they couldn’t laugh anymore. The man growled at them. Sometimes when one lives in such stressful times, one must see the funny side. Laughter is a balm for the soul. 

Liesbet met Greta. 

Two girls walked down the same road on their way to two different schools. Greta participated at a Catholic school which meant she had further to walk. After greeting each other with a smile over several weeks, they started to converse. Friendship became a natural next step. 

They became fast friends with similar ages and interests, fair hair, and enough differences for enlightening discussions. Greta had both parents and only two younger brothers, whereas Liesbet’s father had died, and six brothers seemed too many. The older brothers each took over the role of father, so she complained they bossed her about like four fathers. One had a gentler nature and listened like a father. However, boy number five had symptoms of feeling like the middle child who didn’t fit in. He disliked his youngest brother because it divided the family into two parts once child eight had been born. The older four and the younger four. Rather than just ‘the boys and the girls.’ Son five declared he belonged to the older group of five, with the three babies in the youngest group. Four older brothers disagreed. This led to brother five being more competitive, mischievous, and annoying than the more mature four combined. 

Greta loved her parents and felt as the oldest, she had responsibilities toward her younger brothers. Families are different, and this factor didn’t detract from their friendship. A more significant issue did.

The Dutch Reformed Church and the Roman Catholic Church have a long history of conflict in the Netherlands. This began in the 16th century during the Reformation when the Dutch Reformed Church was established separately from the Roman Catholic Church. The Dutch Reformed Church became the dominant Protestant denomination in the Netherlands. The Roman Catholic Church, on the other hand, was seen as foreign and was associated with the Spanish occupation of the Netherlands. 

Many Dutch people have Spanish in their ancestry. Over the centuries, many Dutch citizens with Spanish characteristics (dark hair, dark eyes, and olive skin) attended the Dutch Reform Church. Many fair Dutch people went to the Catholic Church.

Neither girl had any idea about the politics involved. They both believed in God, and both read their Bibles. For Liesbet, Bible reading as a family happened every Sunday, and none of the family worked on this day. Greta’s family seemed devout. A difference in a religion’s name meant nothing to them. They walked arm in arm and chatted merrily until they parted ways each school day.

One day, Liesbet told her mother about Greta.

“Does she go to your school?” mother asked.

“No, she goes to the Catholic school.”

“How did you meet then?”

“We always walk down the same road and we started to talk one day. She’s a good friend.”

“Liesbet, you mustn’t talk to her ever again.”

“But why?”

“Because she is a Catholic and you are not.”

“But we both believe the Bible. We both go to church. We both say grace. I can’t see any difference,”

“There is a difference. God wouldn’t want you to talk to her.”

“I can’t believe that. He’s the same God. The same heaven he takes people away to.”

“Liesbet, you must obey me. Or you ‘ll go to hell.”

She felt the same way about her mother’s warning as about the claims made when her father had died. Maybe all the rubbish about what God thought, did, and said didn’t come from Him. None of it even made sense.

“I don’t believe it,” she said. “I don’t want to go to church anymore, either.”

“Whether or not you believe it, you are my child and the rule is that you can’t talk to her. And you will still come to church.”

That night, Liesbet hardly slept as she pondered this difficult and nonsensical situation. Her mother’s word was law. Her friendship with Greta broke the law. In her mind, the rationale of her own arguments seemed sound. It hit her that she could still see Greta and not talk to her.

Morning came, and with it, a mass of clouds that felt similar to her mood.

“Good morning, mother,” she said. “I’ve been thinking about what you said. I think I should explain to Greta that I can’t talk to her anymore. It’s the Christian thing to do. After that, I’ll never speak to her again.”

“Yes, I agree. It will be easier if you tell her. Otherwise, she may follow you and try to speak with you still. She needs to know.”

After breakfast, she wrote a secret note to her friend. “Dearest Greta, you will be my friend forever. We can still see each other and write notes. I’m not allowed to talk to you anymore. When we meet, we can exchange letters. It’ll be our secret. Love Liesbet.”

The girls met as they always did. Greta linked her arm through Liesbet’s. She handed Greta the note. She read it, stopped, and looked at Liesbet with tears welling.

“What happened? Why can’t we talk?”

“Because you’re a Catholic. My mother has forbidden it. She let me tell you.” She drew a finger across her closed lips. “My lips are sealed. I know it means to keep a secret. The secret is that our lips are sealed, but I think we can write to each other and still be friends.”

Greta’s face brightened. “Can we still walk together?”

“I wasn’t told not to, but it’s a secret. Whatever we want to say, we can write.” She linked her arm through Greta’s, and they continued on their way. Liesbet turned towards Greta and again indicated with her finger across her closed lips. Greta did the same, and the girls laughed as they continued down the road.

Their friendship continued minus words being spoken. In reality, communication is not reliant on talking. It includes facial expression, eyes, tone of voice, voice inflection, gestures, and posture. The girls utilized all those and their writing, albeit with lips sealed.

Because of the war, their friendship ended. Greta’s parents had to do some errands, and Greta stayed at home to look after her brothers. The children had instructions to stay indoors until they returned.

That afternoon a bombing raid hit the town. The townspeople heard the sound of low-flying planes coming closer, the sound of explosions. Those in their homes hid and prayed they would be safe.

After, in the aftermath, Liesbet and her family came out of hiding, grateful to be alive. They ventured outside to see any signs of damage in their street. Bombs had been dropped nearby but not close enough to their home to be a worry. Liesbet and her family started to walk to an uncle’s house not far away. He lived near the Railway, and they always feared his house may be destroyed. So far, he had survived. As they walked there, they saw others on the street. Some of them had come from south of where they lived. They talked of a couple who had been out but had left their three children at home. The house had been destroyed by a bomb.

Liesbet wasn’t sure, but she turned to her mother and said she had somewhere she needed to go.

“Liesbet come back! Where are you going. It’s not safe,” screamed her mother.

All she could think about was her friend Greta. A family with three children. It couldn’t be them. She ran all the way to Greta’s street. As she neared their house, her heart pounding, she saw what was left of it. She saw Greta’s parents and the neighbors fishing about in the rubble. As she pushed through the crowd, her eyes streaming with tears, already fearing the worst, she eventually stood before Greta’s father.

“Where is Greta?”

“Who are you?” he asked.

“I’m her friend, her best friend, Liesbet. Where is Greta?”

“My, dear, we got her out.” He shook his head slowly.

“Let me see her! Please let me see her.” She held onto his arm and looked up, pleading.

“My dear, I don’t think it’s wise.”

“I have to see her. She will want to see me. Where is she?”

A neighbor took her by the hand. “Come with me. I’ll take you. She is in my house. We carried her there. She’s badly hurt . . . I . . .we. Don’t be shocked.”

Liesbet followed the lady inside, anxious to see her friend. Greta lay on a couch with a bandage wrapped around her bloodstained head, covering her eyes. Her clothes had been ripped and soiled, and her body seemed battered from top to toe. Liesbet ran to her side and gently grabbed her friend’s hands. 

“Greta, it’s me. It’s Liesbet.”

Greta turned her head towards the sound of the voice. “Liesbet, is it really you?”

“Yes. I have to talk. I haven’t a note. I had to come. I’m so sorry you’re hurt. You’ll get better.”

“I don’t know where my brothers are. I can’t see anything. Hold my hands, Liesbet. Stay with me, I’m frightened.”

“You’re safe now. You’ll be alright.”

She stayed, gently holding her friend’s hands, tenderly whispering comfort and reassurance. It appeared Greta had fallen asleep. The neighbor, who had left them alone, returned and held her arm, gesturing for her to stand up.

“Come away,” she said. “The doctor has arrived. Thank you for coming but you must go now. Her little brothers have been found but they are both dead. I’m sorry but Greta may die from her injuries and if she lives, she will be blind. I’m sure you can see her later if she gets better. I can’t say any more than that.” 

Liesbet looked up, and the neighbor had tears flowing down her cheeks.

“Thank you for letting me see her. She wanted to see me. She is my friend.” 

Liesbet cried all the way home. The war had devastated so many families. Some never got over it. The way she coped was to not talk about what had happened. Other experiences she could learn lessons from. Hardship teaches you to not waste anything, to share everything, and to manage in the face of adversity. She understood when her friend died that life is cruel and nasty things do happen to good people. When I first heard about her friend Greta, I knew she had never been forgotten. Greta had always been in her heart.

Post script: As an adult, Liesbet learned that what the Bible says about the condition of the dead, the reasons for death, and the hope for dead loved ones, is nothing like what is taught in the churches. It comforted her a great deal to hear about it. She believes she will see her friend again in a better world. A world free from war and injustice.