White Pygmy

The rhino didn't freak out until Katie stomped the brakes and swerved into the middle lane. I grabbed the Jesus strap. Tony mumbled a string of soothing words from the passenger seat. A bloated full moon hung over the skyline. Katie Cultziger, world-famous movie star and also my mom, drove a top-of-the-line Ford GreenBear van with one hand on the wheel, the other tapping the dash.

The animal shook its bumpy, gray head and strained against the straps, grunting and flinging ropey lines of spit in all directions. The smell made my eyes water and I breathed in short gasps through my open mouth. I sat in one back seat. Tony had removed the other to make room for the rhino. Its tiny, sideways eyes looked crazed. It wouldn't have fit in a smaller car.

Katie laid on the horn and tried to cut to the shoulder. “Only forty-three days till Arrival.” A line of gray sub-sub-compact hybrids moved in sync in the computer lane, leaving Katie no opening. Every time the rhino shifted, the GreenBear rocked, throwing me against my seatbelt.

“That's just an estimate.” Tony twisted in the front seat. “No one really knows.” He patted the rhino on its horn. Bad idea. The creature lunged forward, snapped a strap, and impaled the back of Tony's seat. Metal squealed.

“Do something, damn it.” Katie dodged into the car-pool lane.

Tony tried to cover the rhino's eyes. “The tranquilizer must have worn off.” He sounded scared, unusual for Tony. “Does it have a name?”

“Fred." Katie shrugged. "I think.”

“I have a joint.” I dug in my pocket. “I'll blow smoke at him. Calm Fred down.” It seemed like a good idea, so I sparked up and started puffing thick clouds of Thai Dynamite in the rhino's face.

“You have drugs, Max?” Katie whipped her head around. “Where'd you get drugs?” The car filled with sweet white clouds.

“Eyes on the road.” Tony got his cell out. I kept sucking smoke into my mouth and blowing at the rhino. Tony made a quick, one-handed call to the house. “Have Jose and Romero meet us at the driveway.”

“I want to know who gave Max drugs.” Katie honked and cut to the exit. “Don't lie to me, boy-o. You're supposed to be interviewing. Getting a job.”

We tore up Mulholland Drive, screeching around corners. The rhino seemed calmer. I hadn't inhaled, but the dope was strong enough that my head felt stuffed with cotton batting anyway.

Katie pulled into the driveway, threw the GreenBear into reverse, and whipped backwards. “You're in a world of trouble.” The rear door popped open. Jose and Romero swarmed the damn rhino while I ducked into the house. It's hell living with a nutball.

The foyer opened onto a living room that had been featured in half-a-dozen upscale magazines. Los Angeles and the ocean spread out below us, way below us. Desalination plants made a thick haze of water vapor by the beach, but the sky was clear and stars twinkled at our altitude.  

The floor felt spongy, but I assumed that was the dope. Hand-cut Italian marble. Katie always mentioned the three-thousand-dollar-a-square-foot cost to guests. I giggled. Thai Dynamite would cost more. I took a left towards my wing, rattling down the stairs two at a time, hands on the railings.

I hopped in my bathroom, locking the door behind me. “Oh, God.” I leaned towards the mirror. My eyes looked wasted. I should have let the damn rhino kill us all. I turned the shower full on and pulled my shirt off, popping a button.

“Max?” A girl's voice.

“What the fuck?” My arm got tangled in my sleeve, and I thumped an elbow against the wall.

“Sorry.” A maid stood behind me, toilet brush brandished in her hand like a sword. “I'm Juanita.” Liquid black eyes blinked.

“Uh, you can put that, you know...” My words trailed off. I felt a giggle coming on. “You're new.”

“First day.” Juanita nodded. “I'm so lucky. I'd hoped to see you.”

“That's great,” I started to say, but a loud knock on the door interrupted.

“I know you're in there,” Katie yelled. The knob rattled. “Who are you talking to? Are you hallucinating?”

I rolled my eyes. “Mom. Chill out. It's the 3V.” I slapped a switch. The counter-top media center hummed to life.

“-- course change detected by scientists.” Another documentary on the Arrival. A hologram of our galaxy rotated in the space above the sink, a blue dashed line perpendicular to the plane of stars showed the projected back path of the aliens.  

Astronomers had been tracking occlusions of distant bits of light when the object blasted us with a .43-second radio signal. A single tone. The media had gone nuts. Christers talked rapture. SF movies topped the charts.

“Max?” Juanita again.  

Shit. I'd seen a million documentaries on the Arrival, and I still spaced out watching it. “Juanita?” I liked the way her name rolled off my tongue.

“Max! You open this door right now.” Katie slammed her hand flat against the wood.

“I'm taking a shower,” I screamed.

“You're grounded! Grounded. You hear me? You’ll grow old and die before you ever see the outside again!”

“You're in trouble.” Juanita seemed awed.

“Not really.” I waved my hand. “She'll get distracted with her zoo project.” I waved again. My reflection waved. Katie's thumping took on a rhythmic quality. I nodded in time. “She wants to show the aliens what a great planetary steward she is.” Steam fogged the mirror. I stopped nodding.

As if on cue, the pounding stopped. “We'll talk later, young man. You hear me?”

“Yes, mom,” I yelled back. “Love you.” I turned to Juanita. “Uh...” I gestured at the water.

“But I wanted to tell you.” Juanita stepped closer. “I'm your sister.” Her big black eyes stared at me.

“What?” The fog in my head made me think I hadn't heard her right. “I don't have a sister.”

“Well, sort of a sister.”

I edged backwards until my thighs pressed against the counter. “I don't understand.”  

“Katie hired a surrogate mother, right?”

“Sure.” Twenty years ago, the story had been all over the grocery store tabloids. “But she used her own egg. Top-of-the-line sperm donor.”  

“Right.” Juanita nodded. Her long black hair fell over the curve of her breasts. The buttons on her uniform pulled tight. She grinned. “Pay attention. That was my mom. I was born a year later.” She smiled. “We have the same birthday.”

“So, like, if we kissed it wouldn't be incest?” She didn't look like my sister.

Juanita laughed. I loved the sound of her voice. Honey on chocolate squared. I could listen all day.

BAM! The doorknob exploded. The smell of gunpowder filled the air. Katie slammed the still-smoking door all the way open and gestured at me with the shiny barrel of a pistol. “Get your clothes on, young man.” Her eyes scanned the room like a pair of laser sights, landing on Juanita. “You're fired. Have Jose cut your final check.” Katie consulted her hand cell. “I'll dock you an hour for the screw up in here. If you're still on the premises in ten minutes, you'll be arrested for trespassing.”

Juanita hunched her head and scuttled past Katie through the doorway. “Yes, ma'am.” On her way out, she pressed a scrap of paper into my palm.

Katie hooked my shirt with her gun and tossed it to me. “Clothes on.”

My brain still rattled in its case. I brushed splinters off the shirt. I was dying to know what Juanita had given me. “Mom – “ 

“No talking. Get your shirt on. Family meeting upstairs. Right now.” She stepped towards the shower and shut the flow off. “Water waster.” Katie shook her head, disgust flaring across her features. The pistol dangled in her left hand.

I pulled the shirt over my head. I ached to punch Katie right in her rosebud mouth. Ruin the beestung lips, the expensive dental work. I clenched my fist.

Katie's eyes narrowed. She switched the pistol to her other hand. “Tony's upstairs. You can talk when we're all together.”

I trudged to the living room, stomach twisting. On the way upstairs, I snatched a peek at the paper in my hand. A scribbled address. My heart lifted. I couldn't wait to get the stupid meeting out of the way. Head out, talk to her again.

Katie poked me in the back. My skin crawled. She's always been what the media called “high strung,” but the only other times she'd shot a gun had been at imaginary burglars. 

Tony stood by the windows, hands behind his back, every hair in place. We had an uneasy relationship. He always took Katie's side in everything, of course, but he did his best to calm her down. He wasn't like my dad, or anything. I mean Katie paid him a fucking salary to be her expert on all things alien, but I was glad he'd moved in. “Yo, dude.” I waved.

Tony frowned. “Your mom's pretty upset.”

Katie strode to the wet bar and poured herself a stiff gin and tonic. Ice rattled in the glass. “We have a strict no-drugs policy in this household.” Her voice climbed the registers. 

I looked at Tony and shrugged.

BAM! Plaster dust filtered down from a hole in the ceiling. “You will not mock me.” Katie lowered the gun.  

“Katie.” Tony stepped towards the bar.

“Family meeting called to order.” Katie tapped the butt of the pistol on the tile counter. “Number one.” She held up a finger. “Illicit substances.” Katie jutted her chin at Tony. “Frisk him.”

Tony frowned. “Maybe we should talk first. You could put the gun away and we could all sit down?”

“Goddamn it!” Katie screeched. “Arrival is in less than two months. I will not tolerate a single smirch on our efforts here.

I took the baggie from my pocket and set the pot on the coffee table. “That's it.” A cold, sober cloud settled over my brain.  

Katie and I hadn't exactly been getting along, but the whole Arrival thing had knocked her seriously askew. Everything I did was wrong. I mean, I saved all of our lives on the freeway, didn't I? I'd helped Jose build the radio tower, put in habitats, even though I thought her whole Noah's ark theory had holes you could throw an elephant through.

“These are delicate times, kiddo.” Tony patted me down. “You gotta be patient.”

Katie berated my dissipated ways, but I could tell she was winding up, so I started nodding. I was grounded until the sun went nova, restricted to an hour of screen time a day, and I'd have to pee in a cup whenever she asked. Nothing I couldn't handle.

#

A week into lockdown and I was already going batshit stir crazy. No internet. Lights out at midnight. I loved my mom. I really did, but this was too much.

Katie hired a raft of illegals. They tore up the tennis courts to make room for more animals. I wasn't even allowed into the yard, but the rumble and throb of heavy machinery made the windows rattle night and day.

Tony and I played soccer on 3V. He wouldn't talk about Katie. I stopped even trying. The Arrival dominated the news, but the talking heads repeated the same information over and over. Point two five light speed. The one radio blast. The same old pictures from space-based telescopes: a sleek spherical surface dotted with regular protrusions.

I couldn't get Juanita out of my brain. The curve of a cantaloupe would call up the shape of her body. Every black-haired actress on 3V sent a jolt of recognition through my brain.

A fence went up around the used-to-be tennis courts. Later, an enormous truck unloaded an African lion. He stumbled around his new home, dazed and confused, mane matted into bedraggled dreadlocks. Katie sent pictures towards outer space. The same frequency the aliens had used.

#

The week before Arrival, Katie released the non-essential servants and shut down the house. She alphabetized a multi-year supply of canned goods. The three of us – Tony, Katie, and I – wandered the rooms like ghosts. Jose slept in the gatehouse.

#

Arrival morning. At noon, the spaceship crossed Uranus' orbit. It hadn't slowed. Airports and train stations closed down. No one went to work. Eight hours and counting. From the living room, I watched tiny dots of people swarm the beach. Traffic snarled the freeways.

“You're so lucky.” Katie spoke from behind me.

“What?” I whirled around.

“The sinners will be purged. We'll be taken to paradise.” She stroked the gun. “We have samples from every continent. All the phyla, species – whatever.”

I looked for Tony. He could usually stem the flow of bullshit. No dice. “Uh, mom?”

“Yes?” Her eyes looked wild. She hadn't slept in days.

“I love you.” Acid rumbled in my stomach. I didn't buy her God. Like asking a grown up to believe in Santa Claus. But she meant well, I guess.

At four, Jose buzzed from the yard. The lion had killed two rare Peruvian alpacas. Katie sent Tony out to check the rest of the animals, and then stormed out the door glaring daggers at Jose. “Goddamn it. How hard can this be?” She raised the pistol. “I should shoot you now. What if those alpacas were the key? The tipping point? What if we're left behind?”  

Twenty feet behind them, I cringed, hating myself for not running and tackling her before she pulled the trigger, but I was too terrified to move.  

Jose dropped to his knees. His head shook. “Please, Ms. Cultziger. I do my best.” Tears spilled down his cheeks.  

Katie's body shifted. I had to do something. “Mom!” I sprinted towards her.

She turned. The pistol swung through the air. I was too far. The barrel seemed huge. A tunnel of blackness. Every muscle in my body tightened. Time slowed to a crawl. A drop of sweat on my mother's cheek slid free.  

She didn't pull the trigger.  

I crashed into her. We went flying backwards over Jose. My elbow scraped on asphalt, but I grabbed Katie's hand and wrested the pistol away. Her face crumpled. “This is the most important day of our lives.”

“You're nuts, mom.” The gun weighed more than I expected. I wanted to unload the damn thing, but I didn't know how. “I'm outta here. Don't try to stop me.” I stood up. “Jose, dude. Wanna come?”

Jose helped my mom up. “No, Max. Your mother has created a miracle. I will stay.” He gave a little half bow.

I brushed myself off one-handed. Jose's refusal hurt more than I thought it would. Whatever. It was time to go. The driveway sloped down the hill. Why had I waited so long? My feet slapped on pavement. I let my momentum push me faster and faster until I ran full out.

At the bottom of the driveway, I slowed to a walk. The solid metal gate was locked. A cement-block wall topped with iron spikes jutted from either side. Glimpses of empty street appeared between the gate and the wall. A snuffling, rooting noise from the bushes to my right made me stop.   

A pale horn poked from underneath a leaf. The bush shivered. The rhino, Fred, thrust his head forward. His eyes glinted. I didn't breathe. Pygmy or not, he could do major damage. Sweat slicked the pistol grip. Fred swung his head towards the gate.

I took a step forward. The rhino didn't move. Another step. My feet crunched in gravel. I tucked the pistol in the back of my pants and leaped for the top of the wall. I pulled. My arm scraped against the cement. I bit my lip. One knee found purchase.

Standing on top of the wall, I surveyed the city. Black smoke plumed skyward. The sun glowed behind a bank of clouds over the ocean. Lights flickered. I jumped to the far side, hitting and rolling to break my fall. My heart beat double-time. 

Heavy crunching sounded behind the wall. Fred peered through the crack. I felt sorry for him. I vowed to come back, set him free. My hand touched the scrap of paper in my pocket. I knew the address by heart, but I checked it anyway. Ten miles south.  

At the bottom of the hill, I turned back and looked at the house. Arrival could be anytime. I took a breath. An enormous light flashed. Hot wind knocked me over. A clap of thunder blasted my ears and spots danced in front of my eyes.

I wiped grit from my face. The whole top of the hill had vanished, scooped out of the earth as if a giant with a melon-baller had taken a fancy to my mother's house.

My breath caught in my throat. I pushed to my feet and staggered forward. I pressed my face to the crack between the gate and wall. The ground beyond the fence had been carved away, smooth as glass. Bits of soil dribbled to the bottom of an enormous circular depression. My mother. Tony. Jose. All the animals. Gone.

A fist-sized gray hunk on the ground caught my attention. I reached through the crack, twisting my arm. The lump felt hard, but had some give. Its tip was blunt. The base had been sliced through.

Sunlight stabbed through the clouds in golden spears. I wondered where my mother was. Did the aliens like her? Was she preserved in amber – a souvenir? Whatever happened, I wished her and Tony the best.  

I turned towards the city. A cool wind blew the smoke out to sea. Dust rose from other hilltops. Not a single radio tower remained. I hitched my pants up. If I started walking now, I could be at Juanita's before midnight.