One Night

Bright lights and the buzz of the city nightlife, she loved it, not to be a part of it but simply to watch. She had a keen eye for detail and from the view on her apartment balcony high above the city she always had a lot to take in. The fun part was filling in all the unknowns. She didn’t know who she was watching or the relationships of those around them. She made it up, just for fun, no one will know. There was always so much street noise and the conversations were near impossible to pick up. She read most of what she saw from body language and gestures people threw at each other. So much fun and some amazing stories. Every night brought a new twist to the plot, a new chapter to the never-ending novels in her mind. They were all hers though, she shared them with no one. A world that she could control. She could add, take away and make whatever revisions she wanted. No one was the wiser, besides what harm does it do?

Tonight the air was a cool and crisp but that didn’t stop the crowds from lining up at the club on the corner. Taxis would stop and dropped people off. Other various vehicles would stop, with far too many people in them, and would pile out onto the sidewalk. There were high-fives, handshakes, hugs and kisses as they met each other. Tonight she had to pay extra attention to the characters in her story. Almost everyone was a little heavier dressed and huddled a little closer. Still, there were always “the regulars” that dressed the same regardless of the weather. They always showed up on cue. Easy to pick out and played their part to a T. Well-rehearsed and always punctual, she didn’t even need to look at her watch. Then she spotted someone new in the mix, he was a little hard to read. He was wearing a heavy black over coat buttoned right to the top with a turned up collar. His wavy black hair was in perfect form and his blue jeans and light brown dress shoes finished his outfit. He was being very mysterious, or just very cold. Come on, give me something to play with… she thought. She watched him closely to try and figure out what part he played in her story. In which novel should he go? Maybe a whole new novel but she had to wait and see if any other characters materialized. He seemed to pace excessively and stay at the end of the line. He was waiting for someone, he was nervous, really nervous. An hour went by. He looked at his watch a few times while he was waiting and continued to pace. Poor guy, looked like he had been stood up. Nothing new though, she has seen it happen many times before and she would see it again. His pacing slowed to stand still and she could see his shoulders drop. He pulled down his collar, undid a few buttons and leaned his back against the wall. Instead of looking around, he stared at the ground.

Poor guy, she had been there many times before, waiting and no one shows, it always hit her hard. At some point, she had given up and decided to create a world where she was safe. One she could control and watch. She didn’t want to be a character anymore, she didn’t want to play the game anymore. She kept watching him. What was it about him that kept her attention? Why did this one make her feel so different? How? She didn’t even know who he was. Had she been watching the world for too long? A flood of emotions came rushing up and overwhelmed her. She was just watching his story, she wasn’t a part of it. Everything was fine up until now, why did he have to show up and ruin it all for her. She considered going down and saying hello. No, too big a commitment. Simply, No. I’m not ready for that she thought.

She started building her own story of the impending catastrophe. She would say hi and he would be nice at first. Then turn out to be a total jerk and leave her standing somewhere by herself with no one to console her. A big fat jerk! He probably deserved what he got. He should just go home and rethink his life, stop being such a jerk. Oh, no, no, no… he put his hands on his face, is he?? Then he slid his back down the wall and sat on the ground. No, cut cut. You can’t do that. You are a jerk, you're ruining the story. Stop making me feel these things, you are not allowed to, she thought. I’ve already cast you. You are not following the script. She looked down at her hands which seemed to have a death grip on the wrought-iron railings of her balcony. She took a breath, released her grip, stepped back and sat down on her patio chair. He doesn’t know her and she didn’t know him, better off that way she thought. She closed her eyes and leaned back. “I can’t fix him and he definitely can’t fix me” she mumbled to over and over. This usually worked, she could talk herself out of any uncomfortable situation. Real or imaginary. She was pretty good at it. This time was harder, she stood up again to have one more look. He was gone. She quickly glanced up and down the street to perhaps catch one more glimpse of him. Nothing. She decided that it was enough for one night. All the other characters on the street will have to wait until tomorrow. She headed inside for a nice hot shower and then bed, maybe a glass or two of some good red wine to help her nod off. This was her world, no one was allowed in. No one.