Read The Scoop! With Lucy Luke

Submitted into Contest #254 in response to: Write a story in the format of a gossip column.... view prompt

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American

DREADFUL DIVORCE! Madison and Joshua Lanfield spotted outside lawyer’s offices downtown. Fans of “Madshua” despair once again! Madison (née Harrison) and Joshua Lanfield are back in divorce court. Readers will remember that this is the couple’s third attempt at separating. Impressive!

THE FAIRY TALE BEGINS…

After only 27 days of courtship, former wild child Madison finally decided to settle down with the love of her life! Josh, who already had three movies under his belt (SAVING SAMANTHA, DOCTOR DEATH: THE TRUE STORY OF RICHARD MORTUS, and blockbuster hit RUNAWAY TRAIN) fell head over heels for the party girl and proposed with a six-carat princess cut diamond.   The couple married at the Harrison estate in October 1997 with Madison in the Henri Swan dress that made history, and the debut designer couldn’t have asked for a more perfect launch to his career!

If your memory has evaded you, the iconic dress featured an all-mesh body with over two hundred thousand crystals hand-stitched onto the fabric. It was Madison’s last bacchanalian hurrah as she said goodbye to her bachelorette lifestyle and she sure sent it off in style. The barely-there gown caused quite a stir with Josh’s conservative family, who called the bride “offensive and gauche.” The bride, bedazzled thong and all, left little to the imagination and gave blushing husband Josh a preview of their honeymoon night while walking down the aisle. 

The wedding was a gargantuan affair with a guest list of over 450 people, including childhood-friend-turned-haute-runway-model Laura Collins, who flew from Paris to L.A. for three hours for her bestie’s ceremony.

THE FIRST INDISCRETION

But the honeymoon period didn’t last long! In February 1998, Madison stepped out on Josh with ex-flame Slade Burnside of the popular death metal band, WORM BURDEN.

After being seen at a restaurant with Burnside (and without her wedding ring) a childhood friend of Madison’s confirmed that the heir to the Harrison fortune had a history of “playing boys against each other” throughout boarding school. The source reported Madison had privately begun complaining of boredom with her beau only weeks after returning from her honeymoon.

Josh, still an aspiring actor at the time, knew he had hit it big with the playgirl and heiress and he spared no expense in trying to make aments. He made headlines with his grandiose displays of love and affection, trying to win Madison back. Who else remembers the lake in Atwood Park filled with thousands of roses? Swoon! Readers will also remember the headlines about his very public temper tantrum when Maddy failed to attend the premier of his biggest movie to date, DOCTOR STEELE.

Although the sci-fi thriller wasn’t exactly a hit, the couple announced shortly after that they would be attending couples counseling and working together to fix their marriage. They were seen at all the right locations in the city: Outside the office of celebrity therapist Ethan Stirling, smooching in the park during sunset, and on a secluded beach vacation in the Caribbean.

All seemed sunshine and rainbows for a while with Madison attending Josh’s next movie premier, DOCTOR STEELE 2: ALL FOR ONE AND ONE FOR ALLOY. She was also been seen in the audience of every late-night talk show Josh has featured on, looking slim and pretty in her classy—but sedate—outfits. It was clear that Madison had finally put her trifling past and cheating ways behind her. With the threat of divorce valiantly overcome, fans of the couple rejoiced and hailed the strength of true love.  

SEEING DOUBLE

Unfortunately for Madison, Josh was no angel either. Perhaps because of the stress of the failures of his DOCTOR STEELE movies, the actor had a brief fling in Aruba with identical twins Liz and Emma Bailey at the end of 1999. At the turn of the millennium, he got caught sharing margaritas with the models, and he showed no signs of holding back his affections in the name of marital fidelity.

Emma had frequently commented to reporters about her outlandish Y2K theories, insisting that the general public was underestimating the metaphysical power that the millennium had. Convinced that the end of the world was upon them, a source close to the Bailey twins told us that they had chosen Aruba to spend their end of the world, citing childhood memories as their inspiration. Josh seemed to buy his ticket to the end of the world with the twins after the girls were seen wearing matching diamond and amethyst chokers. The twins have been vocal in the past about preferring amethyst for its psychic protection powers, the reportedly wore the necklaces constantly during their time in Aruba.

But, as we all know, the end of the world never came. The twins, long known for dating the same heartthrob at once, split with Josh once they landed back on American soil on January 2, 2000. (They kept the necklaces.)

After a tumultuous reunion in January, Madshua was back in early 2000, and once again the pair publicly committed to couples therapy, weekend couples retreats, and even tantric sex workshops! Sweet and spicy. 

THIRD TIME’S THE CHARM?

Since then, however, Madison has been spotted traveling Europe with only a few friends with her (soon to be ex?) husband nowhere to be found.

Although Madison has been seen at a number of WORM BURDEN’S shows in LA over the years, she has recently started attending their touring performances as well and was seen in both Barcelona and Munich this summer.

Without her wedding rings and without her husband to temper her behavior, Madison’s appearances at both Barcelona and Munich shows. The band attracts fans of death-doom, grindcore, and funeral doom styles, with packed venues at every stop in their European tour.

Has Madison really put her party girl lifestyle behind her? Or is marriage to Josh just too blasé to keep her attention for long? It sure says something about Madison’s mental state that she’s wearing merch from a tour called COFFIN BIRTH, doesn’t it? Blink twice if you need help, Maddy!

Until next time, faithful readers!

Lucy Luke

June 14, 2024 01:19

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1 comment

Mary Bendickson
13:34 Jun 18, 2024

Tattle tales.

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