Words Only

“This is unfair.”

“Don’t talk to me like that. This is all your fault.”

“How is it my fault? You’re the one who-”

“No! Just stop it! You can’t keep blaming me, Libby. You just can’t.”

“Oh, so it’s all my fault, and I suck, right? Oh, don’t roll your eyes at me, Adam!”

“I’m not rolling my eyes, I’m just looking at the ceiling.”

“Don’t use that tone with me!”

“Oh, just shut it already! It’s over now. You can't talk to me like that anymore.”

“Like what, Adam? Like, what am I ‘not allowed to talk to you like? Huh? Care to elaborate?”

“Like I’m still your boyfriend, and we’re having a fight! You don’t get to yell at your ex like you did when you were together. Just stop it. I don’t want to... I don’t want to fight with you anymore. The whole reason that we broke up was that we kept fighting. I was just so tired of it.”

“I thought we broke up because of the distance.”

“What? You know I can’t hear you when you whisper.”

“I said I thought we broke up because of the distance.”

“Well, the distance made us fight. But I mean, come on, we’re in college, we probably would have broken up anyway. Right?”

“Well, I don't know. Look, why did you even agree to get lunch with me if you thought we just fight the whole time anyways?”

“I don’t know, ok? I just thought maybe it could be nice. I was clearly wrong. My bad.” 

“Well, maybe, if you had actually made the reservations, like you said you would- and don’t look at me like that I’m not raising my voice, this is just how I speak when I’m totally calm- then maybe, we would be having a nice lunch at a nice restaurant instead of being stuck in a booth at ‘Garry’s Family Fun Time Diner.’”

“I told you, I never agreed to make the reservations! And we used to come here all the time in high school! When did you get so stuck up.”

“Oh, please! I’m hardly stuck up. We came here in high school because we had no money to afford nice places. And everything was different then. Also, it’s been almost three years, and this place hasn’t changed!”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Don’t smile, that was not a compliment to this place.”

“I don’t know, Libby, we had some fun times here back in the day.”

“Ok, first of all, don’t call me ‘Libby’, only my friends call me that. It’s Elizabeth to everyone else. Second, your right, when we were sixteen and using allowance money to pay for dinner before going to the movies and needing to be back before curfew at 10:30 pm, it was super fun to be here.”

“You don’t have to sound so sarcastic, Elizabeth.”

“Don’t say my name like that! Just... don’t call me anything! And I’m not being sarcastic, just realistic. Look, I called you to have lunch because I thought maybe, we could be friends. It’s been almost a year since the breakup, and you were a big part of my life. I thought it would be nice, but I was wrong.”

“‘A big part of my life.’ We dated for five years, and all I get from you is that I was a big part of your life?”

“Well, I don’t know, dating when you’re a sixteen-year-old sophomore in high school isn’t actually serious.”

“Are you joking? I loved you. The whole time. We spent all our time together, and we were best friends. We were the couple everyone wanted to be. We had fun. We were fun! Then you got all stuck up once you went to a college with a bunch of other rich kids. You know, when we first started dating, I got told to avoid you. People said that you were just some snobby rich girl. But you weren’t. Not back then. You cared about people, and you were friends with everyone. You volunteered and spent more time at the homeless shelter than you did at home. You didn't care about the way you looked or how people saw you or about eating at Garry’s. You just cared about who you were on the inside.”

“So because I care about my appearance now, and am too busy with a job and school to spend every minute helping others, and want to eat at a nice restaurant, I’m a bad person? Do you know how horrible that is to say? For the record, I do volunteer every weekend, and the job that keeps me busy in between my classes is at a non-profit that does help people. I care about my appearance because it makes me feel good to do things like have my nails done or wear makeup. I wanted to go to a nice restaurant because I haven’t seen you in a long time and I thought that it would nice because we can afford that sort of thing now. And you were a big part of my life, for the record. I was trying to think of a painless way to put it. It hurts me to think of you. And at least I always tried for you. I do things like make reservations and think of the little things. I drove to see you every chance I got and helped you find the cheapest bus and train tickets to come to see me. Freshman year, when the people who I had become friends with made fun of you after meeting you, I stopped hanging out with them. I will not apologize for who I am. I’m sorry that I grew up, but that doesn’t mean that I’m a bad person or that I let things get in the way. I’m sorry I didn’t want to come to a place that haunts me with the memories of us. It’s unfair to have to be here because I look at the different booths and tables and remember when we were here, and I hurt Adam. Hearing your voice hurts. I thought that maybe it was a mistake that we broke up. But now I know it wasn’t. We’re too different.”

“Libby, I mean Elizabeth... I didn’t mean to...”

“No. You never mean to, do you? But you do.”

“I tried to make things work. But it was so hard. I can’t force myself to change. And I have grown, just not in the same way that you did.”

“I used to like that we were so different. And I did love you so much, Adam. I think part of me still does. But being here, home again, in Garry’s again, I just... I tried to convince myself after the breakup that I had outgrown you, that it was for the best. But now I know that I didn’t. We outgrew each other.”

“I didn’t want to.”

“Neither did I.”

“I just... I thought that what we had was gonna last forever. I remember thinking that after college, we would move back here and get married. And we would buy that old house, you know, the rundown one that’s been for sale forever off of Maple?”

“The haunted house, really?”

“Yes, really! I thought we would renovate it. I used to imagine it, me doing the labor, and then you would decorate everything. I thought we were different from the other couples in high school. I thought we would last.”

“Nothing lasts forever.”

“Well, yeah, but I thought we would at least get to fifty and have mid-life crises where we got divorced, and I got a sports car and a 20-something-year-old girl, and you got a rich guy and took pilates. You know, you used to think I was funny.”

“Well, you used to think I was charming.”

“Oh, how times do change.”

“Adam, I don’t think I can be friends with you. It’s too hard.”

“Yeah. I can’t be friends with you.”

“So where does that leave us?”

“Remember that time freshman year when it was your turn to drive to me? And you wanted to go to bed early, then wake up at like 1 am to drive to me? Then around halfway, you got a flat tire?”

“You drove to meet me in the middle, at like 3 am. Then you changed my tire, and we camped out in the back of your car.”

“Well, I happen to have a specialty for changing tires in the wee hours of the morning. So the next time it happens, you can always call me.”

“I’m not good at changing tires. But if you need a ride home at 3 am...”

“Yeah.”

“But...”

“But?”

“But if I know that I can call you for things like that, if I know that you’ll be there... I’m going to backslide. And I can’t go backward. It would just mess everything up.”

“Yeah. Yeah, neither can I. Alright, how about this: every once in a while, when you’re off running charities and saving the world, think of me.”

“ˇThink of you?”

“Just occasionally, let your mind wander and remember how great things used to be with us. And when you find your person, don’t completely forget about me.”

“I could never. Do me a favor?”

“What?”

“Well, don’t give up on your dreams and become a writer first, second, think of me too. Just on occasion. Just never forget me.”

“Never. You’ll always be my first everything.”

“And you’ll always be mine.”

“So I guess we say goodbye now?”

“I guess so.”

“Goodbye, Libby.”

“Goodbye, Adam.”

“So folks, are we ready to order?”