My First Case with some Lampshade

"Okay, Officer Rhodney, let's get inside," I said as my partner and I headed into the apartment in Brooklyn together as an unit. This is my first ever case as a fully fledged detective. I have spent years and years getting where I am today, and this was it! 

Finally, after many hardships, shortcomings, and upbringings, this apartment was all leading to this. When we first got the call, it was an anonymous tip from the caller. They just told our department that the apartment smelled like someone died there. Officer Rhodney and I took that chance and made the call to be there as our main priority. The two of us were anxious considering this was our first case together, at least me. However, Rhodney has been doing this for the last couple of years so he has a bit more experience on the field. Props for being a middle aged white man, but God bless his soul. He was such a gentle fellow with a heart of gold and a huge Sloth fantic. 

I couldn't count how many times in a week my partner would give me Sloth facts when he was training me for 3 months. Today, however, he was silent and that was odd, even for him. Guess, he was either nervous getting into the field with me finally or he was in serious mode. Either way, I just felt safe with him by me. I have learned to trust Officer Rhodney with my life and if you ask anyone, that was hard to come by. You see, after coming to America after more than a decade, you learn to know who can trust and whom you can't trust. As a Sierra Lionra immigrant, I learned from the get-go. Especially when I first came here, with small amounts of money and a head full of big dreams.

Anyways, back to the case at hand, We eventually got to the 3rd floor by which was where our designated apartment to check out. "APT 363," Rhodney turned to me before grabbing his Glock 22 from his hostler. I nodded my head, proceeding to do the same thing. Once we got our Glock 22s out, we headed to the apartment cautiously. Luckily, no neighbors even bothered coming out their apartments as Officer Rhodney and I made our way to APT 363, which felt like an eternity to reach to. 

After passing twenty apartments, we had finally made it to 363. I nodded my head and Officer Rhodney proceeded to knock on the door. Just to see if anyone was home. No answer; this time, I shouted with some authority profound voice: "This is the NYPD, open up!" Still no answer. I nodded my head again and my partner then kicks the door in. Once the door was broken by it's hinges, we stormed in there but with extreme caution. 

For a rundown apartment building, this apartment was pretty well kept. From what I can see, the apartment was pretty classy and not spec of dust could be found. Whoever this tenant was, they were a clean freak. However, there was indeed a strong and revolting odor. Someone most definitely died in here. The question is where. As my thought was answered, we came across a dead naked double amputee on a kitchen chair with a lampshade on their head. Judging from their regional area, they were male. On his exposed chest area stabled some kind of note. Not only that was strange, but this unalive double amputee was sitting in front of a mysterious painting. On the canva, showed almost the exact same person as shown as the dead body right in front of us. His prosthetic arms were on the kitchen floor, side by side.

Officer Rhodney and I checked around the kitchen area. Nothing else seems out of the ordinary than what was shown in front of us. Once we rendezrous to the dead body, I read the note out loud for both of us to hear: "I can't take this pain any longer. I'm always a constant burden to everyone around me, including my own family. I only ask God to watch over them as I take my life right here and now. I'm useless and I might as well be as useful as a lampshade. One just for show and nothing else. Hopefully my smile shines the room. Goodbye, cruel world. Signed by Lend Zieoff." 

"Poor guy," my partner said as he truly felt sympathy for the deceased. He was almost at the verge of tears, judging from what I saw, but took a deep breath and continued: "Sorry, just feel bad for the dude. I bet he and I could have been friends."

"No apologizes, Rhodney," I said cooly. "I'm just a lucky gal who has a partner with a kind soul."

He smiled and then got serious by replying: "So what do you think, Detective Coleslaw? Did he actually do it?"

"Judging from his prosthetic arms, he could have. Question is: how?"

"Maybe he overdosed on his medications." 

"That might check out. But how about the lost of blood? You see his sides, there's dry blood from where his head is to the chair." We both took a close examination on the body and while checking underneath the lampshade, sure thing, there was the culprit. The lampshade was drilled into this people's skull. Two on each other on Lend's zygomatic arch or at this case, over his sideburns for those wondering. I know a lot about the human anatomy.

"That checks out," agreed my trusty partner. Officer Rhodney next turns to the elephant in the room, or should I say: mysterious painting in the kitchen that is the exact replica of our guy. He then asks: "So, he must have painted this before his death."

"That can't be the case cause this looks too accurate to be exact."

"How ever do you mean, Detective Coleslaw?"

"If he were to draw myself that perfectly, he would have to look in a mirror for reference. Even before putting on the lampshade. You see, the human's mind and memory can only look at something while copying what it actually see. Only a selected few can do it with no try, but that's far and in between."

"So what you are saying that Lend here couldn't possibly do the painting on his own, even if he wore the lampshade or not."

"Exactly, Officer Rhodney."

"What about the suicide note?"

"I remember seeing some writing somewhere," I said as I was looking around and on the kitchen table was a notebook with a Sloth on it. I even pointed out this to my partner: "You two most definitely would have been friends."

"Twins maybe," he half-smiled. 

I quickly changed the subject before my partner got depressed in front of me and opened the notebook. While I looked through the pages I came to each letter to see if they match with note. And surely enough, that checks out...

"Well?" asked Officer Rhodney.

"This writing matches as the ones in the notebook," I responded as I give him the object for him to be my 2nd set of eyes. "It's still looks like a suicide."

"But your gut tells you it's not," replied my partner after taking a quick scan inside the notebook.

"Exactly. You know me too well."

"Helps with a little training."

"True to that."

"You thinking homicide?"

"More than likely but I need evidence."

"Okay, well I'll go make a quick call to Corporal to tell them what we found."

"Alright, I'll be here."

As Officer Rhodney exits the kitchen area and into the living room, I stared at the painting more. I couldn't help but feel like I'm missing something here. How could this individual paint exact how he is with the current condition he brought himself into? It wasn't adding up. Wait, a minute. Didn't Iris told me she was seeing a gentleman who makes photography out of people wearing such lampshade designs? That can't be coincidence or can it? What was his name? Ira Galdor! 

I quickly got out my phone and gave Iris a immediate text: "HEY GURL, SUP? MISS U."

It didn't take long for her to response right away: "Hey Fam! It's been a minute."

"MORE THAN. :) HOW R THINGS HANGING DOWN THERE IN ARIZONA?

"Going very well. About to have a girl's night with Jasmine. Yourself?"

"WANTED TO CHECK UP ON U IS ALL. ALSO, WANTED TO SEE IF U WERE FREE THIS WEEKEND?"

"Awww that's sweet. Yeah, I should be. Ira is out of town and won't be back until Monday. He has an important meeting in New York"

"BINGO" I said mentally.

I continued texting: "SWEET DEAL. I'LL BOOK A PLANE TO HEAD DOWN THERE THIS FRIDAY."

"Awesome sauce," Iris responded back. "I'll come get you at the Airport."

"AWWW, U DON'T HAVE 2. I CAN JUST UBER."

"No need. It's the least I can do. Where would you be staying at?"

"THAT I WILL HAVE TO FIGURE OUT. ANY SUGGESTIONS?"

"You can always room with me?"

"U SURE? I DON'T WANT TO OVERSTEP..."

"On the contrary! You are more than welcome to come stay. I have a spare bed you can use."

"U'RE SO SWEET! THX U SO MUCH!"

"No problem, Gloria. What are sisters for?"

"U'RE THE BEST, IRIS! SEE U SOON!"

"Right back at you. Talk to you later for more dets.

"U BET!"

"Bet."

After two minutes of texting, my partner came back and said: "Corporal is on his way."

"Perfect timing, Officer Rhodney. Now let's hold the fort."

"Aye, aye Captain."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves."

"You got it, Detective. I'm going to call my grandma while we wait, 'kay?"

"Sounds good. I'll be playing some Candy Crush."

"Crush those candy good."

"Will do."

And like that, my partner went to talk to his grandma, while I pretended to play some Candy Crush. When in reality, I was checking what I can find on this mysterious Ira Galdron. Somehow, I feel like he connected this case. A case of which is my first one as a detective. All I gonna need is proof.