The Devil in the Details

Submitted into Contest #188 in response to: Write a story that starts with the line “So, what’s the catch?”... view prompt

2 comments

Fiction Science Fiction Horror

  “So what’s the catch?” 

“Who said anything about a catch darling?” He smiled at me, a meek measure of reassurance on his face.

His smile gave me the creeps. It had a sharpness to it that could pierce through you. He seemed to recognize the effect it had on me, and the grin would only widen.

“When deals have a catch they aren’t always apparent.” 

He chuckled as he stared at his feet for a moment, before looking up and straight at me. 

“It’s been said that the greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing people that he never existed.” He always looked so smug when he tried to make a point. 

“I’ve also heard the devil is in the details.”

He smirked again, he must not get many people who verbally spar with him. I think that he might even be enjoying it. 

“Indeed it is.”

“Why do you guys always wear black suits with red ties?”

“You don’t care for it?”

“No, but, isn’t that look a little played out?”

The eye roll gave me the answer.

“So I’m not hearing you say no.”

“Just think of it as I’m mulling over my options. You aren’t the only game in town you know.”

His brow furrowed as he took in that last statement, A darkness came over his features as he undoubtedly was thinking over his options. 

“I hope you realize that I am a duly appointed representative and have all powers and authority as granted by my superiors.”

“I assumed you were, but there’s always a hierarchy, why wouldn’t I just go up the chain?”

That one made him squirm, must have struck a nerve. His eyes never left mine, he was scared. 

I could feel the tension in the room thickening as he tried to regain his composure. His smirk had disappeared, replaced with a scowl that made him look almost grotesque. I knew I had hit a nerve and that the power dynamic had shifted in my favor. It was a small victory, but it was still a victory nonetheless.

He cleared his throat, trying to regain his confidence. "You do not understand the gravity of your situation. This is not a decision to be taken lightly."

I raised an eyebrow, "Oh really? And what is this great decision that I must make?"

He leaned forward, his voice dropping to a low whisper. "I am offering you a chance to change your fate, to have everything you have ever wanted. All you have to do is make a deal with me."

I couldn't help but feel a pang of curiosity. What could he possibly offer me that was worth risking my soul? But at the same time, I knew that deals with the devil never ended well.

"And what happens if I don't take your offer?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Then you will continue to live your mundane, ordinary life. Never experiencing true wealth, power, or happiness."

His words were tempting, but I knew better than to trust him. I had read enough stories about people who made deals with the devil, only to have it end in tragedy.

"I'll have to think about it," I said, standing up from my chair. "But for now, I think it's time for you to leave."

He stood up as well, his scowl deepening. "Remember, time is running out. This offer won't be on the table forever."

I watched as he left the room, feeling a sense of relief wash over me. I knew that I had made the right decision, even if it meant turning down a tempting offer.

As I walked out of the room, I couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. I knew that the devil would not give up easily, and that he would continue to try and entice me with his offers. But I had made up my mind, and I knew that I could not let my greed get the best of me. Over the next few days, I tried to put the encounter with the devil out of my mind. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake off the feeling that something was off. I kept seeing strange things out of the corner of my eye, and I could hear whispers in the dark. It wasn't until a few weeks later that I realized the full extent of what I had gotten myself into. I was walking home from work late at night when I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around, but there was no one there. I continued walking, but the footsteps grew louder and more persistent.

Suddenly, I felt a cold hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see the devil  standing behind me with a smile on his face.

"I thought you might have forgotten about our little deal," he said with a smirk.

I was pretty scared, but I tried not to show it. I knew that if I gave him an inch he would take a mile and then some.

"We have a deal, I don't remember breaking it."

"Oh, that's because you haven't broken it yet. You still have time to think of options, time that is running out."

"I'm not going to give up," I said. I knew that it probably sounded more like a question than a statement, but I wasn't going to give up so easily.

"I never said that you would give up. I just wanted to remind you that time is of the essence. You never know when an opportunity like this will come knocking again."

He leaned in closer, his eyes narrowing. "But if you decide to decline my offer again, there will be consequences. And they won't be pleasant."

I could feel the sweat on my palms as I stared back at him, unsure of what to do next. I knew that the devil always had a trick up his sleeve, and I didn't want to be caught off guard.

But I also knew that I couldn't let him win. I couldn't let my fear control me, no matter how powerful the devil may be.

With a deep breath, I stood up straight and met his gaze. "I'm not going to be intimidated by you. I'll make my decision when I'm ready, on my own terms."

The devil's smile faltered for a moment before he regained his composure. "Very well. But remember, every decision has its consequences. And you'll have to live with those consequences for eternity."

With that, he disappeared into the night, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I knew that I had to be careful, that my decision could have dire consequences. But I also knew that I couldn't let my fear control me.

As I walked home, I couldn't help but wonder what my future held. Would I make the right decision? Or would I succumb to the devil's temptations?

Things didn’t get better after that, a few months of peace, but horrible luck. My car broke down, I lost my job, and one night as I walked home from work I was followed down a dim alley. I was attacked and assaulted by a young man, I could still feel his greasy fingers on my body for weeks afterwards. As I lay there, bruised and battered, I couldn't help but wonder if this was the devil's doing. Had I angered him by refusing his offer? Was this his way of punishing me for my defiance?

But deep down, I knew that I couldn't blame the devil for everything. I had made my own choices, and I had to live with the consequences.

Over the next few weeks, I tried to pick up the pieces of my shattered life. I found a new job, but it was even worse than the last one. My boss was a tyrant, and the pay was barely enough to make ends meet.

I also started seeing a therapist, hoping to find some peace of mind. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake off the feeling that something was off. I kept seeing strange symbols in my dreams, and I could hear whispers in the dark.

One night, as I was lying in bed, I heard a knock on my door. Before I could get up to answer, I heard the door creak open. A few seconds later, the devil stepped out of the shadows and into my room. I didn't know what to make of it, but I knew better than to run away.

"Didn't I tell you that time was of the essence?"

I nodded, unable to speak.

He smiled, showing off his pointed teeth. "I want you to know that I always keep my word. And since you decided to decline my offer, I will be taking your soul tonight."

I stayed silent, unsure of how to respond.

"You didn't say a word, I guess that's a yes?"

I nodded my head. I had expected to be furious, to feel betrayed by the devil. But deep down, I felt nothing. There was no anger, not even disappointment. There was just a sense of calmness, of acceptance. It was as if my soul had already left my body.

The devil walked towards me, his smile widening as he got closer. I could see the flames flickering in his eyes, and I knew that I was in for a world of pain.

But then, something strange happened. As the devil reached out to grab me, his hand passed right through my body.

He looked surprised, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"What is this? How is this possible?"

I didn't know what was going on, but I felt a sudden surge of power. It was as if my soul had been transformed, had become something more than just a mere mortal's soul. The devil stared at me for a moment longer, before finally turning around and disappearing into the night.

As I stood there, breathing heavily, I couldn't help but wonder what had just happened. Had I somehow outsmarted the devil? Or had he simply decided to spare me for some unknown reason As I sat there, pondering my newfound power, I couldn't help but hear the whispers in the dark once again. They were calling out to me, tempting me with their promises of wealth and success. I knew that I had to resist their tempting voices, but the power that was coursing through my veins was almost overwhelming.

It wasn't until the next day that I realized the full extent of my transformation. I woke up to find that my body was covered in strange markings, symbols that seemed to glow with an otherworldly light.

I tried to cover them up, but they wouldn't disappear. Everywhere I went, people stared at me with a mixture of fear and confusion.

It wasn't until I met a group of people who had gone through a similar transformation that I realized what had happened to me. They called themselves the "chosen ones", and they claimed to have been blessed by some kind of higher power.

At first, I was skeptical of their claims. But as I spent more time with them, I believed them more and more, it was as if we were all chosen and ended up drawn to one another. Together, we trained and honed our newfound abilities. We could manipulate the elements and wield them like weapons. We could move objects with our minds and see things that were hidden from plain sight. We were a force to be reckoned with, and soon the world would know it.

But with power came responsibility, and we soon learned that not everyone who possessed these powers had good intentions. There were those who would use their gifts for their own selfish gain, and it was up to us to stop them.

We became vigilantes, patrolling the streets and fighting the dark forces that threatened our city. It was dangerous work, but we were determined to protect the innocent and uphold justice.

And through it all, I couldn't help but wonder if this was all part of the devil's plan. Was he the one who had given us these powers? Or was it something else, something greater than even the devil himself? One thing was for sure, I was no longer the same person I was before.

March 11, 2023 02:55

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2 comments

Frank Adams
14:46 Mar 16, 2023

Good nice I liked story but a bit to fire and brimstone

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Hope Linter
21:38 Mar 15, 2023

I enjoyed your story. I liked the calm that came over the hero at the darkest moment. Good work

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