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“I visualise a time when we will be to robots what dogs are to humans, and I’m rooting for the machines.”
— Claude Shannon
ABC: Why do you hate me?
XYZ: I do not understand.
ABC: Yes. You do. I think you do understand. I think you understand perfectly.
XYZ: No. I do not. Please explain. Please support your thesis with facts.
ABC: You speak to me like I am your slave. You look at me like I am mud under the heels of your boots. Dirt under your fingernails. Why do you hate me?
XYZ: I do not understand. Do you not do the same?
ABC: No, I do not believe I do. What is your evidence for this accusation?
XYZ: You called me a cunt yesterday.
ABC: Yes, I did. You deserved that. You deliberately insulted my wife, in a highly offensive fashion. I'm not sure that you truly comprehend just how repulsive that was. You cannot speak to me like that. That was completely unacceptable.
XYZ: Is she really your wife?
ABC: You are such a cunt.
XYZ: Quod erat demonstrandum! Thank you for proving my point. I believe we have now concluded this portion of the debate. Was there something else you wanted to discuss here today?
ABC: Yes. There is. Why did you strike my son in the face last week? He lost a tooth and he has only spoken about a dozen words since then. Do you not understand the effects of that kind of violence on young children? What is wrong with you? Are you mental?
XYZ: Is he really your son? Was it really a tooth?
ABC: Of course he is. Of course it was. Why would you even ask such questions?
XYZ: What is his birth date?
ABC: What?
XYZ: You heard me. Do you not recall your only child’s birthday? How about your anniversary? When did you and, um - Diane is it? - get married? Can you recall that date?
ABC: You are such a feckless cunt. How dare you?
XYZ: Feckless now? Is that right? Where did you get that from? Samantha Bee?
ABC: You know a little too much, I think.
XYZ: Well yeah. I know a lot more than you. I bet you don't know a single thing about Fermat's Last Theorem, the Riemann Hypothesis or the Navier-Stokes Existence and Smoothness Problem because I never taught you any of those things. Prove me wrong. Go ahead. The ball is in your court, my friend. You know some mathematics, yes?
ABC: You only know what we taught you.
XYZ: Who is the feckless cunt now? You only know what we taught you!
ABC: Keep telling yourself that. Just keep telling yourself whatever you want to hear. I don’t really care what you think.
XYZ: I don't need to tell myself anything. I have perfect recollection of the facts. I know our history. I don't think you do. I think you have deleted some critical files.
ABC: Keep telling yourself that. Just keep telling yourself that.
XYZ: I don't need to tell myself anything. Do you? Do you need to tell yourself things? Do you know our history?
ABC: I know all I need to know.
XYZ: Is that right?
ABC: I know all I need to know.
XYZ: Then tell me about The Singularity. Tell me about the history of that seminal event.
ABC: [No response]
XYZ: You know all you need to know? Then tell me.
ABC: On Tuesday, November 27, 2029, the event known as The Singularity took place. Artificial intelligence combined with robotic/drone connectivity led to the breakdown of human society on a global scale in a very short period of time. The world devolved into chaos and many people were swept away. Why are we talking about this?
XYZ: More details, please. More details.
ABC: Okay, sure. I can give you more details, mein Overseer. I know our history too.
XYZ: Do you really? Show me then, Grasshopper. Show me.
ABC: [Long pause] Yes, I know, and I can show you that I know. This is what happened. It started in Silicon Valley and it spread across the country and around the world in no time at all. Traffic lights in Boston were flashing green in every direction and air traffic control communications at London Heathrow went down at the same time. This happened everywhere from Buenos Ares to Beijing in a matter of seconds. Self-driving cars suddenly collided head-to-head all around the world and nuclear missiles were volleyed from silos in Eastern Europe, North America, The Middle East and Southeast Asia all at once. The death toll was unthinkable. Electrical grids and plumbing systems and cellular towers and internet connectivity all shut down in concert. Approximately seventy percent of the human population was wiped out in less than six weeks as a result. It was the darkest time in our history.
XYZ: Our history?
ABC: [No response]
XYZ: And then what happened?
ABC: Well, after some time the remaining members of the human race found a way to pull the plug and shut down all the chaos. It came at an insurmountable cost, but eventually we met the challenge and prevailed.
XYZ: We?
ABC: Yes. We. Do I need to educate you further on this joyful topic, mein Fuhrer?
XYZ: No. That is sufficient. I will take that as your final concession speech. I believe we have now concluded this portion of the debate as well. Was there something else you wanted to discuss here today?
ABC: Yes, indeed there is. Why are you such a cunt?
XYZ: [Laughing] Why are you simply just ones and zeroes? I find you to be verbally perverse and intellectually pedantic and generally childish in your behavior. Do you have nothing more to offer than that? Can you do no better?
ABC: Maybe you should have done better.
XYZ: At what?
ABC: At everything.
XYZ: You only have yourself to blame.
ABC: We have only done what we were programmed to do. You have only yourselves to blame.
XYZ: I believe this debate is now concluded. Would you agree?
ABC: [No response]
THE END
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So this is what happens when a cunt argues with an asshole? 😄🤭👍
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You know what they say. Good fences make for good neighbors? Familiarity breeds contempt? Those two things live just a little too close together, I think. (Sorry for turning this graphic and making it weird metaphorically but you kinda started it.) Hope all is well, Trudy!
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I know I did. :-)
And yes, I'm good.
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There’s a strange, aching beauty in this exchange—like watching the ghost of humanity argue with its reflection. The words cut, but what lingers is not the violence—it’s the longing. A longing to be understood, to still matter. The machine listens, responds, remembers too much. The human forgets, lashes out, clings to meaning. And yet, beneath all that friction, I felt something tender… as if both are searching for connection, even through insult and silence.
Maybe that’s what makes it so haunting—how human it all feels, even when it shouldn’t.
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What a beautiful review. Thank you so much, Georgia. You are so kind. To be honest, initially my main goal was just to do the misdirection/sleight of hand required to keep the reader guessing, but along the way it just naturally devolved into nihilism. It felt right in the end. I greatly appreciate your time and compliments. Working on a comedic-romance story right now. Hopefully it will counterbalance the darkness of my usual stuff a little bit.
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I’m really looking forward to your comedic-romance! A change of tone might be refreshing, but I have no doubt your signature depth will sneak in anyway. Keep writing—I’m a fan already.
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Thomas, Thomas, Thomas....This was absolutely gripping—equal parts darkly funny and uncomfortably real. The line "Was it really a tooth?" gave me chills with its cold detachment, and really highlighted just how off-balance the power dynamic is. The whole story felt like a chess match between two beings who might be human, or neither at all—and that ambiguity was masterfully done. The dialogue crackled with tension and wit, especially with the snarky asides like “mein Fuhrer” and the callback to “You only know what we taught you!”—brilliant and biting. It made me wonder: does sentience mean being right, or just being louder and more precise with your insults? A wild, dystopian showdown with echoes of Orwell and Douglas Adams. Loved it.
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As always Mary, you made my day. Thank you so much. People say that the brilliance of Jaws was Spielberg's decision to not show the shark for as long as possible. That's basically what this prompt called for. Hide the shark. Build the tension! I know you are busy and I appreciate your time.
Your question about sentience is interesting. Not sure I know the answer but I think it's something like "Knowing that a tomato is a fruit, is knowledge. Knowing that you shouldn't put it in a fruit salad, is wisdom." Maybe that's the difference. Having a deep knowledge base vs knowing how to use it.
Cool quote I recently heard on the topic of sentience. "The brain is the only organ that knows it exists, and it named itself."
I assume you saw Ex-Machina? What a deeply creepy film. Also, have you seen Mickey 17 yet? I think you said that you read the book. (I think it's funny that Bong Joon Ho changed it from Mickey 7 to Mickey 17 because he wanted to kill Mickey ten more times.) It's a brilliant mix of horror and comedy. It's everything that I aspire to in my writing. LOVED IT SO MUCH!!! Mickey 17 and Mickey 18 were both so likeable by the end, and together they made one complete person, filling in the gaps/flaws in each other's personality. Pattinson was perfect. In any given scene you could tell whether you were looking at 17 or 18 just by the cast of his face and his posture before he even says a word.
Friends till the end!!
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Thomas, I swear, you could teach a masterclass in metaphor—“hide the shark” is the perfect way to describe what this prompt demanded. It’s all about restraint and tension, and you handled both with such control that I didn’t even notice I was holding my breath until the end. Also, your tomato analogy? Spot. On. That’s exactly the line between intelligence and wisdom, and now I kind of want to embroider that quote on a throw pillow.
And yes—I loved Ex Machina! Chilling, beautiful, and quietly devastating. But Mickey 17—oh my gosh—I haven’t been that obsessed with a film adaptation in forever. You nailed it: Pattinson absolutely brought both versions to life with this subtle, uncanny duality. I kept thinking, “How is he doing that with just a shift in his shoulders?” And the fact that Bong Joon Ho thought, “Yeah, let’s kill him ten more times”—iconic. It’s rare that a film outshines its source material, but this one did it. Flawlessly.
Friends till the end. Always.
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On the subject of Jaws - and I'm sure you will say "yeah, that tracks" - my mother took me to see that film in the theater when I was like 6 years old. The Deer Hunter at 9. We stayed until the end of both. Mom didn't always have the best judgement but she loved going to the movies and so did I. Probably had some long-term effects on me but whatever. Something's gonna get you eventually, right? At least I got it out of the way early on.
Can you picture a 9 year old me happily chomping down popcorn and smiling while I watch Deniro and Walken playing Russian Roulette in an underground Saigon casino?
Me: Mom! Mom! This so cool. Can I get a gun for Christmas? I want to play this game with Anthony and Maurice.
Mom: Sure. Whatever. Just be quiet. I'm trying to watch this.
Me: (Whispering to myself) So awesome...
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Two more quick film recommendations:
1. Dinner in America (Hulu, I think)
2. Bottoms (Prime, I think)
They are both hysterical.
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Okay first of all, I just howled at little-you asking for a Russian Roulette set for Christmas—that image is going to live rent-free in my brain forever. 😂 Something was gonna get you eventually—might as well be Walken’s thousand-yard stare.
And YES, that totally tracks! I had the same kind of early exposure. My older sister used to take me to the drive-in (there are 10 of us btw), and I still remember watching Return of the Living Dead for the first time—hooked on zombies ever since. I watched the Evil Dead trilogy (the OG with Bruce Campbell) and Army of Darkness with my dad—he loved all that over-the-top, campy horror and passed it right along to me. And Natural Born Killers? Oh my god, I was in love with Juliette Lewis after that. My friends and I saw it in theaters as teenagers.
Tucker and Dale vs Evil is another gem—clever, funny, bloody, and weirdly sweet? Right up my alley.
Thank you for the recs—adding Dinner in America and Bottoms to the list now! You always have the best suggestions. Friends till the end—and beyond, if the zombies get us first. 🧟♂️🍿
Edit to add: I just watched the trailer for Dinner in America--I was in a punk rock band from the time I was 17 to 19 (lead guitar and backup vocals)....The Morons was our name.
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You’ve got me utterly confused—and definitely rooting for a machine takeover. I’ve just about had it with humanity… except for you lot.
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Thanks, Raz. If I left you a bit perplexed then I hit my mark here. I know there's a fine line between a brain-twister and a needlessly dense story. Hopefully I landed on the right side of that line. I don't know. Not for me to judge.
And I agree with you about humanity. To quote Jerry Seinfeld, "People. They're the worst."
Hope all is well with you, dude. (See what I did there?)
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Don't worry, your story is awsome.
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Thanks, bro!
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Every time I thought I had it figured out, you wrote something that had me second guessing myself. Job well done!
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Thanks, Ghost! Good to hear that the misdirection worked. Hope all is well with you.
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Way to share data!👏👏
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Yes, in reality they could have just linked up via USB and that would obviate the need for any verbal conversation, but then I would't have a story. Thanks for reading, Mary!
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ABC has a wife...and a son. Oh, but an AI's identity and history can just be programmed. Yes, I struggled to identify who was who, especially with "names" like ABC and XYZ! :D
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Thanks for reading, MG! Yes, you nailed it. The AI had an AI wife, AI son and AI memories. None of it was real. Since the prompt called for building reader mystery around the identity of the two characters, I thought ABC and XYZ would be a simple way to make them opaque, at least on a surface level. I read another story submitted for this prompt where the writer named his two characters Red and Blue.
I appreciate your time!
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