Parenting is not a popularity contest

It starts with:

”Mommmmmmm, I want a cookie”.

Then.

”Dadddddddddddd, I want candy.”

Then.

”Mommmmmmm, I want a coke.”

Then.

”Daddddddddddd, I want ice cream”

Mommmmmmmm, Daddddddddd,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I want some fluff, marshmallow fluff, any kind of fluff!

Cept’, we all know, the stuff is pure “sugar”, bad for you and the tooth decay begins by just looking at a spoonful.

and the battles begin.

The battle of wills.

Between you.

The kid.

And what is in the kid’s best interest.

And boy oh boy can the provaocater (aka The kid) be tenacious. Stubborn. Willful.

Innocent enough.

They want what they want.

Cookies, Candies, Coke. Ice cream. Fluff.

They think,

“You got a problem with that?”

And in that minuscule moment you need to reach deep down inside and….”adult”.

Take a deep breath and say,

Yes. I got a problem with that.

No. I do not want you to hurt yourself.

No. I will not let you hurt yourself.

Yes. We will walk through this together.

The kid will counter with a tantrum. Of epic proportions. Worst of all, it is in front of others. Other adults and as the tantrum persists, you become overwhelmed in a hot and sweaty perspiration of sweat. In your moment of embarrassment you swear that by the grace of God DCFS will come stormin’ at you in a fit of threat that you are an unfair person to parent.

Yep. We are there. Where the village has taken over and the parent may be forced to feel.

Unfit.

Back to the pint-sized terrorist screaming their lungs out, you know you must resist, persist in doing what is in their best interest. Say no to the

Buzz. The. Rush. The. High. The. Coke. The. Fluff.

As they grow older.. The stakes become scarier.

Alcohol, Drugs, Sex. Sex changing.

For their own good. In their own best interest. It is a balancing act, one of which takes a sternness few of us are born with. You must think, act and then reply to the little tantrum thrower.

Yes. I have a problem with that.

No. It is not good for you.

Right now, I am, and I chose. To be the boss of you so

No.

If life were only that simple.

If the child came out of you “naturally” one can assure you there was no manual that came out with the little tyke at the same time. The next thing you know. Put into your hands is a helpless, talkless, demanding little person that is now 100 percent your responsibility.

Talk about freaking out. Now is the time. A time also of great joy and wonder and new hope. Boiling the water kinda hope. At this time, there are no thoughts of them verbalizing a request for sugar, a cookie candy or coke, ice cream. Fluff or Snuff. At this moment in time, all you all really want to do is sleep.

Chances are if you cannot call the shots now when the burgeoning little being is growing and changing, you may never be able to. If you do not take a stand now.

Somebody else will.

Call the shots for you.

It happens. In an orderly society. To the best of us. To the so called worst of us.

But it shouldn’t .

But it does.

Testing the waters takes on a whole new meaning. The battles begin with the pre-k play date. The old days of just running out the door, knocking on a neighbor’s door asking to “play” has turned into a “friend request”, “likes” and chats of snap. What kind of peanut butter does your child prefer…….

All in an effort to please someone, although to this day it is unclear who is being pleased.

No wonder we are where we are.

The parent has been replaced.

By a “device”

By a “board”

By “walls”

By a “theory”

By a “union”

By “fluff”

All the while, the kids are still wondering when normal will return, when they will be able to sit in their desks again. And learn.

But wait a minute, last we knew, the school of professionals who pre and post virus have had our children for 6-7 hours a day telling them instead of 1+1=2 that is is ok to

Change.

Change what?

Who they are as a person.

Whisper, whisper, it is best we not tell your parents what goes on in these school walls until we are sure you know who you are.

All this education and counseling done,

Without the expressed or written consent of the parent. The guardian. The adult.

Pitting child against parent, guardian against child in an attempt to creat a mutiny on the bounty of a

Child. A child’s mind.

Adolescence is terrorizing enough without a responsible adult to lead the way of healthy thinking of a child’s doubts and burgeoning mental thoughts. Be there when they feel low, be there when they feel good. Ride the roller coaster of teen-dom with all the ebbs and flows of despair and compare.

Parenting is filled with love, nurture, and providing. But over time one learns the most essential ingredient is

Strength.

And if anyone has undertaken the voluntary action of becoming a parent it also will.

Bring you to your knees.

Cause you to cry tears you did not know you had.

Honestly consider doing harm to someone who has hurt your child.

Cause you to make noodles a certain way for a kid because they think the other noodles taste like worms.

Lose your own noodles in the process.

Make 100 decisions a day for their well being.

Their best interests.

Even if and when. They say they hate you for it.

Hit and miss of course.

Pick your battles. For sure.

But when a person lays a hand on your child.

All bets are off.

When an older person, an adult does not act in the due diligence of rearing a child to adulthood and preys on their vulnerabilities of questioning their being. And allows another adult to take liberty with an instrument to change that child.

No.

Someone must say no.

Someone must stand up.

With and by the kid.

The brave ones will find a voice, one way or another. Usually through a tunnel of despair of not knowing what hit them before it hit them. Strong kids will persist, will seek and find an adult voice willing to help them speak. One they will trust. And when they speak, may the rest of us listen honestly and with baited breath to their story. The only decision will be to do our due diligence to reverse their course of hurt.

For God’s sake. For Goodness sake. Give the kids their own lifetimes back to their own lives before it is too late. And for God or goodness sake.

Let our children “own it.”