The Weight

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On Thurs, Mar 15, 2035, 1:44 PM Helena Bishop  <helena.bishop223@yahoo.com> wrote:

Hi my dearest daughter, 

(Look at me, so formal.) know you told me not to call and leave voicemails because it “freaks you out.” So here I am, checking in via email from the new digs.

Honesetly, I’m still getting used to it. They say you can get used to anything, but I’m not sure anymore, I can’t quite imagine this place feeling truly like home. Just a place I live now.

I can already hear you say “duh Mom,” but apartments are nothing like houses. There are different noises, the neighbors are so close, just a wall, floor, ceiling away. Neighbors in four dimensions! The piping is probably way more complicated (so many toilets flushing at once. Like imagine how many toilets are flushing right…..now.) Our old family house, the one you grew up in (and where I spent 27 years of my adult life in mind you) had its own creaks and clanks and clunks that I knew so well. They would lull me to sleep. I miss those sounds like I miss an old friend.

I’m sad to think that I won’t die in that house. But things change, and life brought me here, I guess. So I’m doing my best.

At least the bathroom is significantly closer to my bed. I can practically roll out of bed right into the shower!

XX, your Mom.

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On Weds, Mar 21, 2035, 4:27  PM Helena Bishop  <helena.bishop223@yahoo.com> wrote:

Hi my dear,

Met some neighbors. They are nice enough, but I can’t tell if they want to talk to me. People just do their own thing. Guess I pictured apartment buildings to be like Seinfeld or Friends where everyone is bursting in unannounced to hang out. Maybe I’ll make them my famous oatmeal chocolate chip cookies like you suggested. 

I decided I am going to get a cat to keep me company. Like I said, this new situation has been an adjustment and it might be nice to have a presence to greet me when I come home (not that I go anywhere these days.)

Well, talk soon. XX Mom

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On Fri, Mar 23, 2035, 10:23 PM Helena Bishop  <helena.bishop223@yahoo.com> wrote:

Oh my dearest,

I’ve just had my first run in with a roach. But you might think I’m crazy when I tell you the next part. Buckle up. 

It froze when I turned on the light in the kitchen. Then wouldn’t you know it, it seemed to float up, meet me eye-to-eye. I thought, maybe it’s attached to a spiderweb? Was it a breed of spider I’d never seen? Or these things fly now? Or I’m just losing it.

We both just stood there—or I stood, it floated, its little legs dancing in the air, us two staring at each other, sizing each other up. 

It seemed innocent enough, just looking for food, doing its best to get through the day. Just like me. 

Well, before I could even introduce myself to the little critter it landed on the kitchen counter and ran away behind the stove. Who knew I was so terrifying? 

Anyway, that’s the hot gossip from my end. Your life sounds a bit more exciting, I’m glad your travels are going well. I can’t wait to hear about them when you get back. Your pictures are breathtaking (as are you.)

Xx Mom

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On Sat, Mar 31, 2035, 2:12 PM Helena Bishop  <helena.bishop223@yahoo.com> wrote:

Sorry, I’ve been preoccupied. 

Maybe it’s the stress from moving (though, I know, that was a month ago). Maybe I’m truly getting old and out of my gourd. But I think gravity is gradually changing in my apartment. Sounds like another weird thing I would get hung up on but hear me out…

I started noticing I was losing weight on the scale, but all my pants still fit (some were even tighter than before.) I lost 10lbs just last week and I haven’t done anything different.

I thought, ok, this could be a broken scale flattering me. So I bought three new scales, and this time, on all of them, I weighed even less.

Maybe I had missed my medication, which is why I feel weird? Though, if it’ll make me lose a few easy pounds, it’s tempting to maybe not take it at all. But as you know Aunt Janet, God rest her soul, was elated about her sudden weight loss until she found it was cancer. 

Well, I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow. Will report back soon. You’re right, I should probably get a hobby or find a bridge group somewhere. Maybe I’ll start going back to church again! 

Anyway, since I got my cute kitty Chippy I haven’t seen any cockroaches, floating or otherwise. He’s really quite cute and sleeps with me every night. 

Miss you, XX Mom.

P.S. I was kidding about church. 

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On Thurs, April 5, 2035, 3:40 PM Helena Bishop  <helena.bishop223@yahoo.com> wrote:

Hi there, 

So, I went to the doctor, and she weighed me. As I suspected (and was somewhat relieved to learn) I hadn’t lost all that weight. In fact I had gained 5lbs on the outside (as in outside my apartment.)

I swear I’m even feeling the extra weight hit me when I step out the front door. And everytime I come home a huge weight is lifted (as the saying goes, but for me it’s true.)

And of course there is my dear kitty Chippy. I’ve noticed when I pick him up it is almost like picking up a shirt on the floor, he weighs practically nothing!

Just this morning as I was looking in the mirror a few strands of my hair started to float up and up, one by one. Is it static? Do I live above some nuclear reactor? 

I feel like I’m in an episode of X-files. I know this all sounds crazy, but what if I wake up one morning and I’m face-to-face with the ceiling? 

Imagine me calling the super man (ha!) and telling him this problem. That I can’t use my oven because all the food I put in there starts floating to the top and doesn’t cook right? Or that my contacts have floated out of my eyes? 

Let’s just say, I’m kind of afraid to use the toilet…

Could be a metaphor for how my life has gone these past few years after divorcing your father. He weighed me down, for better or for worse. Kept me grounded. 

But don’t worry about your old mother over here, Chippy and I are doing just great. We’re having a grand old time. I might make a cocktail (with a lid of course) and dust the corners of the apartment I haven’t been able to reach. I’m reaching new heights! 

Well, I guess what I’m trying to say is I can’t host Thanksgiving this year. Would you be a doll and ask Aunt Carol if she could host? She responds better to you, her favorite niece, than from her kooky older sister.

Talk soon, love you, XOXO.

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On Sat, April 7, 2035, 3:12 PM Helena Bishop  <helena.bishop223@yahoo.com> wrote:

Hello my dear!

I’m so happy to hear you got into that art program you’ve wanted. Things are looking up for you! I never doubted you for one second, then again I’m your mother and your biggest fan. I wish I could come celebrate some time soon. But lots of drama over here. 

Chippy’s litter started floating around and sometimes I’ll breathe it in and start choking when I scoop. (I know, TMI.) Doesn’t cat urine make you crazy? Well, it might explain a lot.

Anyway, Spring is turning to Summer and they still haven’t turned the heat off in my apartment. The radiator is still clinking and clanking, piping hot. I have to open my window or run the AC to stop from sweating (which lifts off me like mist.)

I called the super to let him know. I was expecting some old guy in overalls, but who greets me at the door? A woman in a suit. A government official. She just wanted to take a look around. 

Ah, some more fellas are coming in wearing plastic suits. I thought maybe to fumigate the floating roaches. Though I insisted it wasn’t a problem anymore. Oh, someone is knocking as I type.

Talk soon, XX Mom.

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On Tues, April 10, 2035, 3:47 AM Helena Bishop  <helena.bishop223@yahoo.com> wrote:

So I’m writing this quick Claire, my dearest daughter—best thing that has ever happened to me. I don’t want to freak you out. But I want to fill you in while I can. 

They are saying they want to take my computer. And my phone. I just said I want to let my daughter know what is happening! Ok I have to finish this email really quick, but I love you and will try to find a pay phone when they leave. Or maybe borrow a neighbor’s phone if they’d just open the damn door.

I guess I’ve been waiting for something exciting to happen. After all, I've only got a few good years left. I wish you could visit, but I’m now being told I can't have visitors (they wouldn’t advise it.) Thank god I got Chippy! They said I could keep him with me. 

Well, I told them your name as my emergency contact so you might hear from them. But should all be fine. Don’t worry about me, your crazy mother who loves you like mad. 

XX, Mom. 

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Mail was not delivered to the following recipients: <helena.bishop223@yahoo.com> Reply text:550 User Unknown 

Original mail text: Received: from claire.bishop@yahoo.com

Mom, please answer me. I know they took your phone—but what does that mean? I never got a call—or an email from you. 

Aunt Carol and I are at a hotel near your apartment building. But when I called the apartment management company today, they said that your name isn’t on any lease with them? And that the apartment 5C doesn’t exist? 

But when Carol and I went to the building, there was a 3C, a 4C, and a 6C. I called the management company again and asked—how could that be? What the fuck? And in the fifth floor hallway, I swear I saw a faint outline of what used to be a doorway. Between 5B and 5D. Like there had been a 5C, but they built a wall over it.

I filed a missing person’s case. The stupid police don’t seem to be in a hurry to find you. They say that they have a long list of missing persons in this city. I told them that must mean they suck at their jobs (I thought that might be something you’d say.) 

FUCK, mom I’m freaking out. This isn’t funny. I can’t stop crying. Are you dead? Are you lost? 

I’m not sure why I’m still writing. 

Mom, please.  

PLEASE. 

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On Mon, June 18, 2040, 11:11 AM Helena Bishop  <helena.bishop223@yahoo.com> wrote:

Well my dear, have I got a story for you.