The Task of Tolerance

Constant accusations of Jessie Benet, being unapproachable, permeated the office cubicles and the men’s room walls. These misconceptions were a cold draft, leaving an unpleasant feeling in Jessie. It fueled his desire to prove them wrong.

 So he said, “Yes” to the yearly team building holiday trip.

He had already discovered every cognitive distortion, emitted by each of his colleagues, on the airplane.

To someone like Jessie, it was the stench of small-mindedness, but to Scott, Clint, Derrick, and Keith,

It was the aroma of untold opinions, clogged by the daily demands of work, marriage and fatherhood.

Tranquilized by this disappointment, disorientation spread throughout Jessie's body, overcoming all hopes of this trip ever being a pleasure. “What have I gotten myself into?” thought Jessie,” The task of tolerance is exhorting”.

It’s been five days in Aruba. The men start racing each other up the mountain, but Jessie decides to take the time to appreciate the breathtaking view. "They're all missing the point," he thinks. It wasn’t long until his colleges made their way back down the mountain. Like bees, they swarmed past Jessie.

“Sorry man… We did wait for you, a little” said Clint, dropping his dead sweaty hands on Jessie’s shoulder.

“As if waiting for me up there was the only thing to do," Jessie thinks and shakes his head.

“Are you guys heading straight back to the holiday house?”  Jessie asked.

“Na, we’re checking out that beach restaurant, Scott’s been raving about," said Clint, panting, “meet us there, okay”.

Jessie arrived at the restaurant, an hour later, unintentionally present in body but absent in spirit.

He walks slower approaching the table, dragging his legs on the beach. The soft, sand massages his aching feet. He forces an inaudible beat box through his teeth, attempting to hype himself for the social cringe-fest.“Relax Jess. It’s the last night. Tomorrow you’ll be on an airplane back home and this will be nothing but a memory” Jessie thinks.

 Cheerful chatter increases as he reached their table. Jessie sits on the wooden bunk simultaneously ducking for the wine glasses colliding above his head. His head is now drenched in red wine. Jessie bites back a reaction and composes himself.

"I'm so sorry," Scott said.

"Don't worry about it" said Jessie, wiping his face with the table cloth.

With every dab on his wet forehead, he closed his eyes and said, “God give me strength.”

After the third dab, he let go of the red-stained table cloth and opened his weary eyes.

The lights were off. The music switched from soft Jazz to a dance kick drum intro, increasing in tempo as the strobe lights pierced his dark brown eyes.

Local women dressed in flowers approached the danced floor, all part of the act.

Each woman approached guests, and lured them to the dance floor. No one except for Jessie was left at the table, until a local spotted him from across the room. She walked over to his table, grabbed his hand and pulled him up from the table.

"No , please. I’m fine” Jessie’s trembling hands unlocked her firm grip

“Just let go, and let the music take you there," said the woman.

“I have to go to the restroom," said Jessie fleeing.

As he entered, he rushes past every closed door, breathing large breaths with every step. For every closed door, he passed, fell another concrete brick of anxiety on his shoulders. Jessie approached the last door. It was open. His hope was restored.  Jessie locks himself in, and exhales like someone who has been underwater for 10 minutes, chased by a shark.

Four hours had gone by, and Jessie is awakened by the silence. He slowly opens the door. The place is empty and the waiters are cleaning. He walks over to the minibar and orders a pizza with wine.

Moments later, Jessie Staggers back to the holiday house while singing a song …

"I'm coming home, I'm coming home.

Tell the world I’m coming home “

The sun rises as he sings. He points to the red sky.”No, no! Who… Who said you can come up?"

He falls onto the doorstep. Keith lifts him.

“Where have you been man?” said Keith

“I’ll tell you later. Let me…Let me… Just sleep for 2 seconds” said Jessie, as drunk as one can be.

.

"No," said Keith, "we’re going to be late for the flight. You have to pack now.”

Keith gave up the fight and just through everything Jessie owned into his suitcase. Nothing folded. Nothing fitting.  Everything erupting.

Jessie wakes up on the plane. He sees Derrick looking outside the window.

"Hey, Derrick, how long have we been flying? “asked  Jessie.

“Oh, hey”  Derrick smiled, “Only 2 hours to go, then we’re home.”

“So what are you going  do when you get home tonight?” Derrick asked

“Lock my doors and stay in! No visitors, no phone calls” sighed Jessie.

Just me and a long, hot bath. Curling up by the fireplace to a cup of hot chocolate. Then, sleep for like 1000 years” laughed Jessie with so much pleasure in his voice.

"Yeah, you should sleep…because you look like the living dead right now ” laughed Derrick.

Jessie fantasized for the remaining hour of the flight about all the little nothings he was going to do when he got home. The little nothings that made him comfortable and stress-free.That whole other world he created, with the kind of oxygen he breaths.

The plane had landed. The taxi is approaching Jessie's home. In front of his house is parked a yellow mini cooper. Jessie recognizes the car, and immediately throws his head against the seat saying, "No, no, no, no, no!”

The taxi driver looks back at Jess and says, ”Are you okay, my friend?"

“I’m fine thanks,” said Jessie.                                                                                                                                                    

Jessie gets out of the taxi. A boy opens the trunk to remove his luggage, while a short plump little woman, with big spectacles, walks over to embrace Jessie. Jessie knows what's coming next. He attempts to dodge it but fails miserably. Three hard kisses on his cheeks and forehead. He tightly pinched his eyes and cheeks in horrific discomfort.

“Mom. what are you and Kevin doing here? I told you I'd come to visit next Sunday…For lunch" said Jessie, with a forced smile.

“I know dear, I came to drop  Kevin," said Jessie's Mother.

Kevin? ”Jessie exclaimed.

“He needs your help finishing an assignment, due is due tomorrow. He did all he could while you were away, and waited all weekend for you to return" said Jessie’s mom getting into her car. She starts the ignition.

“But, but…" said Jessie, to the sound of her screaming engine.

“Don’t worry I’ll pick him up tomorrow for School” shouted Jessie’s mother, from the open car window, as she drove into the sunset, honking the horn.